Exodus 11

Shalom, dear parents! Welcome to our 15-minute dive into Jewish parenting, inspired by the rich tapestry of our tradition. Today, we're exploring Exodus 11, a pivotal moment in the Exodus story. We'll uncover practical wisdom that can help us navigate the beautiful, often chaotic, journey of raising our children. Remember, we're aiming for "good enough" and celebrating every small step. Let's bless the chaos and find our micro-wins!

## Insight

### The Power of the "One More" Moment

In Exodus 11, we witness a profound moment of divine communication and human agency. God tells Moses, "I will bring but one more plague upon Pharaoh and upon Egypt; after that he shall let you go from here." This "one more" plague is not just a narrative device; it’s a powerful metaphor for the parenting journey. How many times have we, as parents, felt like we’re facing "one more" challenge, "one more" sleepless night, "one more" tantrum? This verse reminds us that even in the face of overwhelming adversity, there is a finite point, a culmination, and a promise of liberation.

The commentators offer fascinating insights into this "one more" plague. Ramban emphasizes that God spoke to Moses after Moses had left Pharaoh’s presence, ensuring Moses wouldn’t be proven a liar. This highlights the importance of integrity and consistency in our words and actions, not just to our children, but in our own inner lives. Ibn Ezra, however, suggests a different timeline, positing that God had already told Moses about this plague and the subsequent command to borrow from the Egyptians even when Moses was in Midian. This perspective emphasizes that many of the instructions and prophecies were layered, revealed at different times, and meant to be understood in their full context later. This is a crucial lesson for us as parents: we don't always have all the answers or see the full picture when we're in the thick of it. We receive information, instructions, and guidance in stages, and sometimes, the meaning or purpose only becomes clear in retrospect.

The Kli Yakar adds another layer, explaining that Pharaoh's gradual "expulsion" of Moses and Aaron mirrored his eventual complete expulsion of the Israelites. This concept of gradualism, of things unfolding in stages, is incredibly relevant to parenting. We often see our children grow and develop in fits and starts. There are moments of rapid progress followed by periods of apparent stagnation, or even regression. The Kli Yakar's insight suggests that even the seemingly small, incremental steps are part of a larger unfolding process. Pharaoh's initial dismissals of Moses and Aaron were precursors to the ultimate, complete expulsion. Similarly, our children's early attempts at independence, their small acts of defiance or self-assertion, are all part of the journey towards becoming fully independent individuals.

Sforno elaborates on this idea of justice and consequence. He notes that Pharaoh's obstinacy led to him having to perform what he resisted under infinitely worse circumstances. This is a profound reminder of cause and effect, not just in the grand narrative of the Exodus, but in our daily interactions with our children. When we persistently resist guidance, when we refuse to acknowledge the needs or feelings of others, we often end up facing much more difficult situations down the line. For parents, this means acknowledging that our choices have consequences, and that sometimes, the "harder" path in the short term can prevent much greater difficulties later. He connects this to Deuteronomy, where the people will ultimately keep the Torah out of poverty if they don't do it out of gratitude. This is a stark, but important, reminder that there are consequences to our actions and our lack of action.

Or HaChaim further clarifies that the "one more plague" was not entirely new information, but a reiteration of what God had already conveyed to Moses in Midian. This reinforces the idea that God's communication is often layered and progressive. It also speaks to the nature of divine reassurance. Even when things seem dire, there are underlying promises and plans. As parents, we often feel overwhelmed by the immediate challenges. We might forget the initial reasons we embarked on this parenting journey, the hopes and dreams we had. This verse encourages us to recall those foundational promises, those earlier moments of clarity, and to trust that there is a larger plan unfolding, even if we can't see it all at once.

The instruction to "borrow" silver and gold from the Egyptians is particularly intriguing. It’s an act of taking what was unjustly withheld. This has been interpreted in various ways, but from a parenting perspective, it can be seen as reclaiming what is rightfully ours or what our children deserve. It’s about asserting our needs and our children's needs in a way that is strategic and ultimately leads to freedom. The commentators note that this was a command given to Moses even before this moment, underscoring the idea that God equips us with what we need, often in advance, even if we don't fully understand it until the opportune moment.

Finally, Rashbam offers a straightforward interpretation: God spoke to Moses while he was standing before Pharaoh, and then Moses responded. This highlights the direct interaction and the flow of communication. For us, this translates to the importance of direct, honest communication, even when it's difficult. We need to be able to speak with clarity and conviction to our children, and to listen to their responses, even when the conversation is challenging.

What does all of this mean for us, as busy, imperfect Jewish parents? It means embracing the concept of "one more" as a natural part of life's journey, not a sign of failure. It means trusting that even when things are difficult, there is a progression, a movement towards liberation, towards growth. It means understanding that guidance and wisdom often come in layers, and that we don't need to have all the answers at once. It means recognizing the power of consistent, honest communication and the long-term consequences of our choices. And it means remembering that even in the darkest moments, there are promises of light and freedom. This verse, and the commentary surrounding it, offers us a theological framework for perseverance, for trusting in a larger process, and for finding hope in the midst of the ongoing "plagues" of parenting. It encourages us to see each challenge not as an endpoint, but as a step towards a promised future, a future where our children, and we ourselves, can experience a deeper sense of freedom and fulfillment. The "borrowing" of treasures can be seen as a metaphor for taking the positive aspects of our experiences, even the difficult ones, and transforming them into tools for our liberation and our children's growth. It's about extracting value and wisdom from every situation, no matter how challenging. The emphasis on God hardening Pharaoh's heart also teaches us about divine patience and the ultimate inevitability of justice. While we don't have the power to harden hearts, we can understand that sometimes, despite our best efforts, certain outcomes are inevitable as part of a larger process of growth and learning, for both parent and child. The key is to remain steadfast in our efforts, to communicate clearly, and to trust in the unfolding of the journey, even when it feels like we're facing "one more" plague.

## Text Snapshot

"And יהוה said to Moses, 'I will bring but one more plague upon Pharaoh and upon Egypt; after that he shall let you go from here; indeed, when he lets you go, he will drive you out of here one and all.'" — Exodus 11:1

"Tell the people to borrow, each man from his neighbor and each woman from hers, objects of silver and gold.” יהוה disposed the Egyptians favorably toward the people." — Exodus 11:2

"Thus says יהוה: Toward midnight I will go forth among the Egyptians, and every [male] first-born in the land of Egypt shall die..." — Exodus 11:4

## Activity

### Blessing the "One More" Moment: A Family Gratitude Circle

Goal: To reframe the concept of "one more" from a burden to an opportunity for gratitude and connection, and to practice acknowledging small moments of progress.

Time: 7-10 minutes

Materials: None needed, but a physical object like a smooth stone or a small stuffed animal can be passed to signify whose turn it is to speak.

Instructions:

1. Gather Together: Find a quiet moment when your family can be together, even for just a few minutes. This could be at the dinner table, before bed, or even during a brief pause in your day.
2. Introduce the Concept: Start by saying something like, "You know how sometimes it feels like we have 'one more' thing to do, or 'one more' challenge? Like when Pharaoh had to deal with 'one more' plague before the Israelites could leave Egypt? Well, even in those 'one more' moments, there are often good things we can find."
3. The "One More" Gratitude Prompt: Explain the activity: "For the next few minutes, we're going to share one 'one more' thing that happened today, or this week, that we're actually grateful for. It doesn't have to be a huge thing! It can be something small."
   • For Parents: Think about a moment that felt like a struggle, but ultimately led to a positive outcome or a learning experience. For example, "One more tantrum before bedtime, but afterwards, we snuggled and read an extra story, which was lovely." Or, "One more email to send, but it meant we finally got that important project sorted."
   • For Children: Encourage them to think about something that felt difficult or took extra effort, but felt good when it was done, or led to something nice. For example, "One more chore to do, but then we had time to play a game." Or, "One more try at building that tower, and it finally stood up!"
4. Passing the Token (Optional): If you have a token, pass it to the person whose turn it is to share. This helps create a sense of order and ensures everyone gets a chance to speak without interruption.
5. Sharing Time:
   • Parent 1: "I'll start. My 'one more' is... one more time I had to repeat myself about cleaning up toys. But afterwards, [child's name] actually helped, and our living room felt so much tidier. I'm grateful for that little bit of help."
   • Child 1: "[Child's name], what's your 'one more' thing you're grateful for?" (Guide them if needed: "Remember when you were trying to put on your shoes, and it took a few tries? That was a 'one more' try, and then you got them on all by yourself! That's pretty great.")
   • Continue: Go around the circle, with each person sharing their "one more" gratitude.
6. Blessing the "One More": After everyone has shared, you can say something like, "See? Even in those 'one more' moments, we can find good things. We can be grateful for the progress, for the effort, or for the outcome. May we continue to bless our 'one more' moments and find the good within them."
7. Micro-Win Acknowledgment: End by celebrating the effort. "Great job everyone for sharing! That was a wonderful way to find the good in our day."

Why this works for busy parents:

• Time-boxed: Designed to be short and focused.
• Low-Prep: Requires no special materials.
• Empowering: Shifts focus from burden to blessing.
• Connects to Text: Directly links to the theme of "one more" plague.
• Models Gratitude: Teaches children a valuable life skill.
• Inclusive: Adapts to different ages and abilities.
• No Guilt: Focuses on positive reframing and small wins.

Adaptations:

• Younger Children: For very young children, you might need to offer more specific prompts or even share the "one more" for them. For example, "Mommy had 'one more' phone call to make, and then we could play! I'm grateful we got to play."
• Older Children/Teens: Encourage them to reflect on academic challenges, social situations, or personal goals that involved "one more" effort.
• Busy Weekends: This can be a great "car talk" activity during a weekend outing.

This activity helps children (and parents!) develop resilience by learning to identify positive outcomes even when facing difficulties. It cultivates a habit of looking for the silver lining, a crucial skill for navigating the inevitable challenges of life. By actively seeking out and articulating these "one more" moments of gratitude, we train our minds to focus on progress and abundance, rather than scarcity and struggle. It's a beautiful way to infuse our homes with a spirit of thankfulness and optimism, rooted in the ancient wisdom of our tradition.

## Script

### Navigating the "Why So Much Bad Stuff?" Question

Scenario: Your child, after hearing a story about the plagues or simply observing a difficult situation in the world, asks, "Why does God let so much bad stuff happen?"

(Approx. 30 seconds)

Parent: "That's a really big, important question, and it's totally okay to ask it. You know how in the story, God sent plagues to Egypt to help the Israelites get free? It was a really tough time for Egypt, but it was necessary for freedom. Sometimes, in life, things feel really hard, and it's hard to understand why. Our tradition teaches us that God is always with us, even in those hard times. It also teaches us that even from difficult situations, good can eventually come, and that we have a role to play in making things better. It's a mystery we keep exploring, and it's okay to not have all the answers right now. We can talk about it more anytime you want."

Why this script works:

• Validates the Question: Starts by acknowledging the validity and importance of the child's question.
• Connects to Text: Uses the Exodus story as a relatable example of hardship leading to a greater good.
• Emphasizes Divine Presence: Offers comfort by reminding the child that God is present even in difficulty.
• Introduces Agency: Gently suggests that humans also play a role in making things better.
• Acknowledges Mystery: Admits that not all questions have easy answers, which is a mature and honest approach.
• Opens Dialogue: Invites further conversation, showing ongoing support.
• Time-Conscious: Delivers the core message concisely.
• No Guilt: Avoids blaming or shaming, focusing on exploration.

This script is designed to be a starting point, not a definitive answer. The goal is to open the door for ongoing conversations about faith, suffering, and justice in a way that is age-appropriate and reassuring. It’s about planting seeds of theological inquiry and emotional support, rather than providing immediate, concrete solutions to profound existential questions. For busy parents, having a ready, empathetic response can be incredibly helpful in navigating these often-unexpected and deeply felt questions from children. It allows you to respond with kindness and thoughtfulness, even when you're pressed for time.

## Habit

### The "Borrowing" Micro-Habit: Actively Seek and Acknowledge Positive Contributions

Goal: To consciously identify and acknowledge the positive contributions of others (and ourselves) in a way that mirrors the "borrowing" of valuable assets from the Egyptians.

Micro-Habit: Once a day, this week, identify one positive contribution someone made to your day and express your appreciation for it. This could be your child, your partner, a colleague, or even yourself.

How to do it:

1. Choose a Time: Pick a consistent time each day. This could be during dinner, before bed, or a quick text/email.
2. Reflect Briefly: Think about the past 24 hours. Who did something that helped, supported, or brightened your day? What was that specific contribution?
3. Express Appreciation:
   • To your child: "Thank you for [specific action], it really helped me because [reason]." (e.g., "Thank you for putting your dishes in the dishwasher, it saved me a step!")
   • To your partner: "I really appreciated it when you [specific action]. It made me feel [feeling]." (e.g., "I really appreciated it when you picked up dinner tonight. It made me feel cared for.")
   • To yourself: Acknowledge your own effort. "I did a good job today by [specific action], and I appreciate myself for that." (e.g., "I managed to get through that tough meeting today, and I appreciate myself for staying calm.")
4. Keep it Simple: The focus is on the act of noticing and expressing, not on elaborate speeches.

Why this is a micro-habit:

• Doable: Takes less than a minute.
• Impactful: Fosters positive relationships and self-esteem.
• Connects to Text: Echoes the idea of taking valuable assets (contributions, kindness) and making them your own through acknowledgment.
• No Guilt: Celebrates positive actions and intentions.

This habit is about actively "borrowing" the good that others bring into our lives and making it tangible through our acknowledgment. Just as the Israelites took valuable possessions, we are taking valuable moments of kindness, support, and effort. By recognizing and expressing appreciation, we not only validate the other person but also enrich our own experience and strengthen our connections. It’s a small act that can create a ripple effect of positivity in your home and beyond. It’s a way of actively participating in the creation of a more benevolent and appreciative environment, mirroring the divine orchestration that brought about the Exodus.

## Takeaway

The lesson from Exodus 11 is that even amidst the most challenging circumstances, there is a divine plan unfolding, marked by progression and ultimate liberation. For us as parents, this means trusting the process, embracing the "one more" moments as opportunities for growth, and actively seeking and appreciating the valuable contributions around us. Our children are on their own journey of "borrowing" wisdom and strength from their experiences, and our consistent, empathetic guidance helps them gather their own treasures. Remember, you are doing good work, and even the "good enough" tries are worthy of celebration. Chag Sameach!