Exodus 35

Here's a 15-minute Jewish parenting lesson on the topic of communal contribution and sacred work, drawing from Exodus 35.

## Insight

## The Power of Shared Purpose: Building Something Sacred Together

In our bustling lives, where every minute is accounted for and our to-do lists stretch longer than a Shabbat dinner, it's easy to feel isolated in our parenting journey. We often feel like we're the only ones wrestling with bedtime battles, deciphering toddler tantrums, or trying to instill values in our children amidst the digital din. But the parashah of Va-Yakhel (Exodus 35) offers a powerful antidote to this feeling of isolation. It calls us to remember that we are part of something larger than ourselves, a community united by a shared purpose. Moses, after receiving the detailed instructions for the Mishkan (Tabernacle), doesn't just relay them to the men; he "convoked the whole Israelite community," including "men and women, all whose hearts moved them." This wasn't a top-down decree; it was an invitation to participate in building something sacred, something that would serve as God's dwelling place among them.

The beauty of this passage lies in its emphasis on the individual's moved heart as the primary motivator for contribution. God didn't send a list of required donations or assign quotas. Instead, Moses declared, "Take from among you gifts to יהוה; everyone whose heart is so moved shall bring them." This speaks volumes about how we can foster a sense of purpose and belonging in our own families. It's not about forcing our children into pre-defined roles or demanding specific behaviors. It's about nurturing their inner spark, their unique talents, and their willingness to contribute to the family's well-being and values. The text lists an astonishing array of materials and skills needed for the Mishkan: gold, silver, copper, fine linen, goats' hair, acacia wood, skilled artisans, embroiderers, weavers. This wasn't a project for a select few; it required the collective effort of everyone, from those with precious materials to those with the skill to shape them.

The commentaries offer profound insights into this communal endeavor. Ramban highlights that "all the congregation of the children of Israel includes the men and women, for all donated to the work of the Tabernacle." This inclusive gathering underscores that building something sacred is a family affair, a shared responsibility. Ibn Ezra's simple opening, "Blessed is the most high God Who led his people with might; Through his messenger Whose face shined as the light of the sun," sets a tone of awe and gratitude for the divine leadership that guides us. Sforno explains that the "matters I told you about earlier" refer to the instructions for the Mishkan, emphasizing that this was a tangible, concrete project that required immense collaboration.

Kli Yakar delves into the practicalities and spiritual underpinnings of this gathering. He suggests that Moses first convened the community to ensure clarity and prevent disputes over ownership or contributions. "Moses was apprehensive that one of them might donate something that was not rightfully theirs," he explains, leading to the idea that clarity about what belongs to whom is essential before communal giving. This is a powerful lesson for us as parents: ensuring fairness and understanding within the family creates a foundation of trust for shared endeavors. Kli Yakar also offers a mystical interpretation, suggesting the gathering was to "broker peace between them," likening the Mishkan to a shared dwelling that required harmony. This resonates deeply with the challenges of family life, where conflicts can arise, but the desire for a peaceful, unified home is paramount. The idea that Shabbat, a day of rest, should not be a time for discord but for unity, further emphasizes the importance of creating a harmonious environment for shared spiritual growth.

The text, particularly in Exodus 35:1-3, clearly links the building of the Mishkan with the observance of Shabbat. Ramban explains that the command to build the Mishkan is preceded by the law of Shabbat, teaching us that "the work of these things should be done during the six days, but not on the seventh day." This isn't about adding another rule; it's about integrating sacred work into a rhythm of rest and renewal. For us, this translates to finding opportunities for meaningful contribution within our families that don't lead to burnout. It's about recognizing that our actions, however small, contribute to the sacredness of our home. Kli Yakar further elucidates this, suggesting that the word "ti'aseh" (shall be done) implies a self-generating quality, perhaps even referencing the miraculous way some aspects of the Mishkan were completed. While we may not experience literal miracles in our daily parenting, this concept encourages us to see the inherent potential and natural unfolding of our children's contributions when they are given the space and encouragement to grow.

Ultimately, Va-Yakhel reminds us that building a meaningful life, whether it's a physical sanctuary or a vibrant family, is a communal effort. It requires us to look beyond our individual needs and embrace the power of shared purpose. It's about recognizing that each person, with their unique gifts and moved heart, has something vital to contribute to the collective good. This parashah is a spiritual blueprint for how to foster generosity, responsibility, and a deep sense of belonging within our homes, teaching our children that their contributions matter and that together, we can create something truly sacred.

## Text Snapshot

Moses convoked the whole Israelite community and said to them: "These are the things that יהוה has commanded you to do: On six days work may be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a sabbath of complete rest, holy to יהוה; whoever does any work on it shall be put to death. You shall kindle no fire throughout your settlements on the sabbath day." Moses said further to the whole community of Israelites: "Take from among you gifts to יהוה; everyone whose heart is so moved shall bring them—gifts for יהוה... And everyone who excelled in ability and everyone whose spirit was moved came, bringing to יהוה an offering for the work of the Tent of Meeting and for all its service and for the sacral vestments. Men and women, all whose hearts moved them, all who would make an elevation offering of gold to יהוה, came bringing brooches, earrings, rings, and pendants—gold objects of all kinds."

(Exodus 35:1-4, 21-22, JPS Tanakh)

## Activity

## The "Family Contribution Jar"

Objective: To foster a sense of shared responsibility and recognize individual contributions to the family's well-being.

Materials:

• A clean, empty jar or box (can be decorated if you have a few extra minutes, but not necessary!)
• Small slips of paper or sticky notes
• Pens or markers

Time Allotment: 5-10 minutes

Instructions:

1. Introduction (1-2 minutes): Gather your family. Explain that just like the Israelites in our Torah portion were asked to contribute to building the Mishkan, our family also has ways we all contribute to making our home a wonderful place. We all have different jobs and responsibilities, big and small, that help our family run smoothly and happily.

2. Brainstorming Contributions (3-5 minutes):

   • For Younger Children: Ask them: "What's something you do that helps our family?" or "What's something nice you did for someone else in the family today?" Examples might include:
     • Putting away toys
     • Helping set the table
     • Being kind to a sibling
     • Drawing a picture for someone
     • Listening when Mom/Dad talks
     • Making your bed (even if it's a bit messy!)
   • For Older Children/Teens: Ask them: "What's a way you contribute to our family's peace or happiness?" or "What's a responsibility you took on that helped everyone?" Examples might include:
     • Helping with a younger sibling
     • Taking out the trash
     • Keeping your room tidy
     • Being a good listener
     • Helping with homework
     • Offering to help with a chore without being asked
     • Making a meal or part of a meal
   • For Parents: You can also participate! Think of a contribution you made. This models humility and the idea that everyone contributes. Examples:
     • Making dinner
     • Packing lunches
     • Listening to a child's worries
     • Working to provide for the family
     • Organizing a family outing

3. Writing Down Contributions (1-2 minutes): As each contribution is shared, have one person (or take turns) write it down on a slip of paper. Don't worry about perfect handwriting or elaborate descriptions. Just capture the essence. For very young children who can't write, you can write it for them.

4. Filling the Jar (1 minute): Have each family member take their written contribution slips and place them into the "Family Contribution Jar." As they put them in, encourage a moment of reflection.

5. Closing (30 seconds): Say something like: "Wow, look at all these ways we help each other and make our home special! Just like the Israelites brought their gifts to build something amazing, all these contributions, big and small, help build our wonderful family. We're a team!"

Tips for Success:

• Keep it Positive: Frame this as a celebration of what everyone does, not a performance review.
• Embrace "Good Enough": A messy bed is still an effort! A slightly late chore is still a chore. The goal is participation and recognition, not perfection.
• Make it a Routine: You can do this weekly, monthly, or even just as a one-off to kickstart the idea.
• No Pressure: If a child is resistant or can't think of anything, that's okay. Simply acknowledge their presence and perhaps offer a gentle suggestion: "Maybe helping clear one plate is a contribution today." The key is to avoid guilt.

## Script

## Navigating "Why Do We Have To Do This?"

Scenario: Your child asks why they have to participate in a family activity or chore that feels like a "contribution" (e.g., helping with a family project, doing a chore that benefits everyone).

(Approx. 30 seconds)

Parent: "That's a really good question! You know how in our Torah story, everyone in the community helped build the Mishkan, the special place for God to be with them? They all brought different things – some brought gold, some brought skills, some brought time.

Child: "Yeah, but why do I have to help with [chore/activity]? It’s boring/hard/I don’t want to."

Parent: "I get that it might not feel exciting right now. But just like everyone's contribution was important for building something special for the whole community, your contribution here helps our family. When you [mention their specific contribution, e.g., 'help tidy up,' 'help with your sibling'], it makes our home a nicer place for all of us, and it shows you care about our family team. It's about us working together to make something good for everyone."

Key elements of this script:

• Connect to the Parashah: Immediately links the child's question to the Torah text, making it relevant and educational.
• Validate Feelings: "I get that it might not feel exciting right now" acknowledges their reluctance without dismissing it.
• Focus on "Us" and "Family Team": Emphasizes collective benefit and shared responsibility.
• Specific, Actionable Examples: Relates their contribution to a tangible positive outcome for the family.
• Avoids Guilt: Focuses on the positive impact of their actions and the value of participation.

## Habit

## The "Moved Heart" Moment

Micro-Habit: This week, consciously look for and acknowledge one "moved heart" moment from each family member, including yourself.

How to do it (≤ 10 minutes total spread throughout the week):

• What it is: A "moved heart" moment is when someone does something kind, helpful, or generous not because they were told to, or because they had to, but because their heart prompted them to. It's that spontaneous act of goodness or willingness to contribute.
• Your Role: Be observant. When you see a family member (child or partner) offer help, share something freely, show extra patience, or contribute to the family in a way that seems genuinely motivated from within, pause and acknowledge it.
• The Action:
  • For Kids: A simple, "Wow, I noticed you [specific action, e.g., helped your sister with her toy/offered to set the table without being asked]. That was really kind of you, and it made me feel good to see your helpful heart in action. Thank you for that."
  • For Partner: "Hey, I really appreciated you [specific action, e.g., taking care of that task I was dreading/listening so patiently]. I saw your heart was moved to help, and it made a big difference."
  • For Yourself: At the end of the day, take 30 seconds to reflect: "What was one way my heart was moved to do something good today?" It could be as simple as choosing patience over frustration.
• Why it matters: This habit reinforces the core message of Va-Yakhel – that voluntary, heartfelt contribution is precious and valuable. It encourages these behaviors and builds a family culture where kindness and generosity are seen and celebrated. It’s about noticing the spirit behind the action, not just the action itself.

## Takeaway

The parashah of Va-Yakhel teaches us that building something sacred, whether a physical sanctuary or a strong family, is a profoundly communal act. It thrives on the "moved hearts" of every individual, men and women alike, who offer their unique gifts and skills. Our role as parents is to nurture these inner impulses towards contribution, celebrating every "good-enough" effort. By recognizing and encouraging these voluntary acts of kindness and helpfulness, we weave a tapestry of shared purpose, transforming our homes into spaces where everyone feels valued, connected, and inspired to build something beautiful together. Remember, it’s not about perfection, but about the beautiful, imperfect, heartfelt contributions that make our families holistically sacred.