Joshua 8

Insight: The Art of the "Second Try"

Parenting often feels like a series of failed sieges. We try a new bedtime routine, a gentle discipline technique, or a "calm-down corner," and it collapses—much like Israel’s first failed attempt to take Ai. In the wake of a parenting "fail," our instinct is often to retreat, to feel "frightened or dismayed," or to lose confidence in our own capacity to lead our household. We worry that because it didn't work the first time, we are doing something fundamentally wrong.

However, Joshua 8 offers a profound perspective on failure and the necessity of recalibration. After their initial defeat, God does not tell Joshua to give up or to magically make Ai disappear. Instead, God tells him to change his strategy. He must take "all the combat troops," use "ambush," and—crucially—he must lead from the front. The commentaries here are enlightening. Metzudat David notes that Joshua was afraid because they had already fallen in that place, and God’s command, "Do not fear," was a direct response to that lingering trauma of failure. Ralbag adds a beautiful layer: God didn't perform a miracle to bypass the difficulty because a natural, strategic solution was available. We are expected to use our intellect, plan, and "ambush" (which, in parenting terms, is just a fancy word for a better plan).

Crucially, the commentaries highlight that Joshua had to "muster" and "inspect" his troops (Vayifkod). This is not just about counting heads; it is about Hashgacha—careful attention and supervision. As a parent, this reminds us that our "failures" are often just invitations to shift our strategy from brute force to intentional, thoughtful observation. When a morning routine implodes, we aren't bad parents; we are just commanders who need to adjust the flank.

We often think that if we were "good" parents, our children would respond perfectly the first time. But Joshua, the great leader, had to change his approach. He had to be humble enough to admit the first way didn't work and strategic enough to try again with a new plan. Parenting is not about avoiding the second attempt; it is about having the courage to show up again, smarter and more present than we were the day before. The "micro-win" isn't a flawless victory; it’s the act of trying again with a slightly better plan, knowing that God (and your own resilience) will be with you in the effort.

Text Snapshot

"God said to Joshua, 'Do not be frightened or dismayed... Take all the combat troops with you... set an ambush against the city behind it.'" — Joshua 8:1–2

"And he mustered the troops; then he and the elders of Israel marched upon Ai at the head of the troops." — Joshua 8:10

Activity: The "Re-Do" Strategy Session (≤10 Minutes)

When a household routine fails (e.g., the "getting out the door" chaos or the "bath time battle"), we often just repeat the same frustrated behavior, expecting a different result. This week, we are going to pull a "Joshua."

The Setup: Sit down with your child for five minutes at a calm time (not during the heat of the conflict). Use this as a "Strategy Session."

The Steps:

1. Name the "Ai": Acknowledge the struggle without shame. "Remember how hard it was to get our shoes on this morning? That was a tough 'Ai' for us."
2. The New Ambush: Ask your child for a strategy. "If we have to do it again tomorrow, what is one thing we could change to make it easier?" (Maybe they want to pick their shoes the night before, or maybe you want to set a timer).
3. The "Check-In" (Vayifkod): Explain that tomorrow, you are going to "check in" before the battle starts. "Tomorrow morning, let’s do a quick 'check-in' before we head to the door. We’ll look at our plan together."
4. The "Hold the Javelin" Moment: During the actual event, stay present. Don't drift to your phone or your own stress. Focus on the goal until the task is complete.

This activity teaches your child that failure isn't the end of the road; it’s just data. It shifts the dynamic from "Parent vs. Child" to "Team vs. The Problem." It validates their frustration while modeling that even leaders (parents) have to stop, plan, and try again.

Script: When Your Child Asks, "Why did we mess up?"

If your child asks why things went wrong or why you’re changing the rules, keep it simple and honest.

Script (30 seconds): "You know, sometimes we try to do something—like getting to school or cleaning up—and it just doesn’t work out the way we planned. That’s okay! Even in the Bible, Joshua tried to take the city of Ai once, and it didn't work. He didn't quit; he just stopped, talked to God, looked at what happened, and came up with a better plan. We’re doing the same thing. We’re smart enough to learn from what didn't work and try a new way. Our 'new plan' is just us being like Joshua—brave enough to try again and smart enough to do it differently."

Habit: The "Morning Muster"

This week, implement a 60-second "Morning Muster." Before the day officially kicks off, gather your family (or just spend a moment with your child if they are small) and physically stand together for one minute.

Look at them, acknowledge the day ahead, and say, "We have a plan, we are on the same team, and we are ready." This replicates Joshua’s act of "mustering the troops." It’s a physical signal that we are prepared, we are paying attention, and we are entering the day with intention rather than just reacting to the chaos. It grounds the nervous system and creates a sense of collective purpose.

Takeaway

You do not need to be a perfect parent; you only need to be a strategic one. When things go wrong, do not retreat into shame. Stop, observe, adjust your strategy, and lead your family with the confidence that you are capable of doing better the second time around. Bless the chaos—it’s just the battlefield where you’re learning to grow.