929 (Tanakh) · Thinking of Converting · Standard
Judges 8
Hook
If you are standing on the threshold of Jewish life, peering into the warmth, the noise, and the daunting complexity of the Jewish people, you might wonder what it truly means to bind your fate to theirs. It is easy to romanticize conversion (gerut) as a serene, individualistic journey of spiritual self-discovery. But the truth of Jewish existence is far more beautiful, far more challenging, and deeply collective. To become Jewish is not merely to adopt a system of personal beliefs; it is to enter a covenantal family—a family with a long history, internal arguments, intense responsibilities, and a shared destiny.
This is why the raw, unvarnished narratives of the Hebrew Bible—specifically the Book of Judges—matter so deeply for someone discerning a Jewish life. In Judges 8, we are confronted with a story that does not hide the messy, fragile, and deeply human realities of our people. Here, we see tribes arguing over who was called to fight, leaders pleading for basic sustenance, and communities paralyzed by the fear of taking a stand.
For a prospective convert, this text is a mirror. It asks you: Are you ready to step into a family that is sometimes fractured, yet eternally bound together? Are you willing to offer "bread" to this people when they are weary, even when the future is uncertain?
We do not promise that this path is easy, nor can any rabbi guarantee your ultimate acceptance before you have walked the long road of preparation. The process of gerut demands deep sincerity, intellectual honesty, and a willingness to wrestle. But as we explore Judges 8 together, you will see that the very vulnerability and complexity of the Jewish people are what make our covenant with the Divine so breathtakingly real.
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Context
To understand the weight of the drama unfolding in Judges 8, we must ground ourselves in the historical, communal, and spiritual landscape of the era, as well as the modern path of conversion that mirrors these ancient dynamics.
- The Era of the Judges (Shofetim): This narrative takes place during a chaotic, transitional period in Jewish history. There was no king in Israel; the tribes were a loose confederation bound together primarily by their covenant with God. When external threats arose—such as the devastating raids of the Midianites—charismatic leaders known as "judges" (shofetim) like Gideon were raised up to rally the people. This decentralized reality meant that unity was never a given; it had to be actively chosen, negotiated, and fought for, much like the communal cohesion we strive for in Jewish life today.
- The Friction of Tribal Identity: In this chapter, we witness intense friction between the tribe of Ephraim and Gideon (who hailed from the smaller clan of Abiezer in the tribe of Manasseh). Ephraim was a powerful, proud tribe that expected to lead. The tension we see here highlights a fundamental truth about the Jewish people: we are a family of diverse voices, internal politics, and differing temperaments. Entering the Jewish people through conversion means joining a living, breathing community where people do not always agree, but where they are ultimately responsible for one another.
- The Relevance to the Beit Din and Mikveh: The themes of commitment, mutual responsibility, and stepping forward in times of crisis are precisely what a rabbinic court (beit din) looks for in a prospective convert. When you eventually stand before a beit din, the rabbis will not merely test your knowledge of Hebrew or kosher laws. They will look at your character and ask: Do you love this messy family? Are you ready to share in our struggles, our griefs, and our joys? Your immersion in the ritual bath (mikveh) is a physical enactment of this transition—leaving behind the status of an uncommitted onlooker to emerge as an active partner in the eternal covenant of Israel, fully wet with the waters of our shared history.
Text Snapshot
The following verses from Judges 8 capture the raw tension of communal life, the hunger for participation, and the tragic consequences of self-protection:
"And those in Ephraim’s contingent said to him, 'Why did you do that to us—not calling us when you went to fight the Midianites?' And they rebuked him severely." Judges 8:1
"But he answered them, 'After all, what have I accomplished compared to you? Why, Ephraim’s gleanings are better than Abiezer’s vintage!'" Judges 8:2
"He said to the people of Succoth, 'Please give some loaves of bread to the troops who are right behind me, for they are famished, and I am pursuing Zebah and Zalmunna, the kings of Midian.' But the officials of Succoth replied, 'Are Zebah and Zalmunna already in your hands, that we should give bread to your army?'" Judges 8:5-6
Close Reading
To study Torah is to dive beneath the surface of the words, guided by the sages who have wrestled with these texts for generations. Let us look closely at two profound insights from Judges 8 that speak directly to the soul of the seeker.
Insight 1: The Burden and Dignity of Being Called
The chapter opens with a fierce confrontation. The men of Ephraim are not celebrating Gideon’s victory over the Midianites; instead, they are furious. They demand to know why they were not summoned to the battle from the very beginning.
To understand the depth of this anger, we must look at the classical commentators. The great medieval commentator Metzudat David unpacks their grievance clearly:
לבלתי קראות לנו. בתחלת המלחמה כאשר הלכת להלחם, ומה זה קראת לנו אחר הנצוח: "For not calling us: At the beginning of the war when you went to fight, and why did you call us [only] after the victory?"
The Ephraimites felt insulted because they were only invited to participate in the pursuit—the "clean-up" operation—rather than being positioned at the vanguard of the risk.
The Malbim (Rabbi Meir Leibush ben Yehiel Michel) takes this psychological analysis even deeper. In his commentary on Judges 8:1, he asks:
השאלות (א) הלא מלאכים שלח בכל הר אפרים? "The questions: (1) Did he not send messengers to all of Mount Ephraim?"
In Malbim’s commentary on Judges 8:2, he explains the source of their deep resentment:
מה הדבר אשר עשית לנו. כי תחלה שלח מלאכים במנשה אשר זבולון נפתלי ולא באפרים (ו' לה) רק עתה שלח מלאכים בהר אפרים וזה חרפה גדולה להם, וזה שאמר לבלתי קראות לנו כי הלכת, רק אחר כך בעת גמר המלחמה... "What is this thing you have done to us: For initially he sent messengers to Manasseh, Asher, Zebulun, and Naphtali, but not to Ephraim (as seen in Judges 6:35). Only now did he send messengers to Mount Ephraim, and this was a great insult to them. This is what they meant by saying, 'for not calling us when you went,' but only afterwards at the completion of the war..."
The Malbim highlights that Gideon had bypassed Ephraim in his initial call to arms, summoning other tribes instead. For Ephraim, this was a cherpah gedolah—a great insult, a shame. They did not want to be an afterthought in the sacred duty of defending Israel. They wanted to be there when the stakes were highest.
The modern commentary by Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz synthesizes this beautifully:
"The men of Ephraim were insulted by Gideon’s decision to call them to participate only in the chase, rather than positioning them at the head of the military force in the thick of battle. They quarreled with him forcefully."
If you are exploring conversion, this tribal dispute contains a profound spiritual truth. Why did Ephraim care so much? Because in Jewish life, to be called to responsibility is a mark of dignity. Ephraim did not want a safe, comfortable seat on the sidelines while their brothers risked their lives. They understood that to be a part of Israel means having a share in the struggle.
As a prospective convert, you may sometimes feel a parallel anxiety. You might worry: Am I too late to the story? Because I was not born Jewish, am I merely joining the "chase" after the great historical moments of Sinai and the prophets have already passed?
Let this text reassure you. The Jewish tradition teaches that every soul that would ever convert was spiritually present at the giving of the Torah at Sinai. Your desire to join the Jewish people is not an afterthought; it is a reclamation of your rightful place in the vanguard of the covenant. Like Ephraim, your soul hungers not for a cheap, easy spirituality, but for the "thick of the battle"—the deep, demanding, and rigorous daily commitments of Jewish life. To convert is to demand the dignity of responsibility. You are asking to be called to the front lines of Jewish practice, ethical living, and communal defense.
Gideon, in his wisdom, defuses Ephraim’s anger with humility, telling them that their "gleanings"—their contributions at the end—are greater than his clan’s entire "vintage." He recognizes that every part of the community, whether they arrived early or late to the fight, is essential. In your conversion journey, remember that your unique perspective as someone who chose this path is not a lesser contribution; indeed, the "gleanings" of a sincere convert often bring a passion, clarity, and beauty that revitalize the entire community.
Insight 2: Sustaining the Weary and the Danger of Self-Protection
The narrative takes a darker turn as Gideon and his three hundred men cross the Jordan River. They are "famished, but still in pursuit" of the Midianite kings Judges 8:4. Gideon appeals to the Israelite towns of Succoth and Penuel for bread to sustain his exhausted troops.
But the leaders of these towns refuse. They ask mockingly, "Are Zebah and Zalmunna already in your hands, that we should give bread to your army?" Judges 8:6.
Succoth and Penuel are playing a dangerous game of political self-preservation. They are saying: We will not help you until we are absolutely certain you are going to win. If we give you bread now, and you lose, the Midianites will come and destroy us for helping you. Show us the victory first; then we will show you solidarity.
To understand the gravity of their refusal, let us look at the commentary on Judges 8:10, where the remnants of the Midianite army are described:
"Now Zebah and Zalmunna were at Karkor with their army of about 15,000; these were all that remained of the entire host of the Kedemites, for the slain numbered 120,000 fighters."
Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki), the foundational commentator, notes simply on the geography:
בעקרקר. שם מקום: "At Karkor: The name of a place."
But Metzudat David draws our attention to the sheer scale of the conflict and the nature of those involved:
כל הנותרים. רצה לומר, והמה היו כל הנותרים וכו׳: "All that remained: Meaning to say, and they were all those who survived..."
שלף חרב. רצה לומר, אנשי מלחמה הולכים שלופי חרב: "Drawers of the sword: Meaning to say, men of war who go about with drawn swords."
And Metzudat Zion clarifies the grammatical root of "drawn":
שלף. ענין הוצאת החרב מתערה, כמו (יהושע ה יג) וחרבו שלופה: "Drew: The concept of drawing a sword from its sheath, as in 'and his drawn sword in his hand' Joshua 5:13."
The 120,000 who fell were sholfeicherev—men who had drawn their swords, actively engaged in the battle. The people of Succoth and Penuel, by contrast, kept their swords safely in their sheaths. They chose neutrality. They refused to feed their famished brothers because they were afraid of the risk. They wanted guarantees before they would act with covenantal loyalty.
This failure of solidarity is treated as a catastrophic betrayal. Gideon promises that when he returns victorious, he will punish them severely—a promise he tragically fulfills by threshing the elders of Succoth with desert thorns and tearing down the tower of Penuel.
For someone exploring conversion, the sin of Succoth and Penuel is a cautionary tale about the nature of Jewish belonging.
Becoming Jewish means leaving behind the luxury of neutrality.
You cannot stand on the sidelines of Jewish history and say, "I will commit to the Jewish people only when it is safe, when there is no antisemitism, when the community is perfectly harmonious, or when I am guaranteed a smooth and easy life."
The Jewish people are, historically and spiritually, often "famished, but still in pursuit." We are a people who have survived centuries of persecution, who carry deep historical trauma, and who are constantly striving to bring holiness into a broken world. To throw your lot in with Israel is to offer "bread" to this people when they are weary—to support Jewish institutions, to stand up for Jewish survival, to share in Jewish pain, and to celebrate Jewish joy, even when the outcome of our struggles is not guaranteed.
The beit din will want to see that you do not possess the spirit of Succoth. They want to know that you are not seeking a fair-weather faith. In Jewish law, one of the first questions a beit din asks a prospective convert is: "Why do you want to convert? Do you not know that the Jewish people are currently oppressed, harassed, and hounded?" (Babylonian Talmud, Yevamot 47a).
If the candidate answers, "I know, and I am not worthy to join them, but I wish to do so anyway," they are accepted.
This ancient Talmudic formula is the direct spiritual antidote to the sin of Succoth. It is the declaration that you are ready to cross the Jordan with the three hundred, hungry but pursuing, because you believe in the holiness of the journey, regardless of the risks.
Lived Rhythm
The transition from intellectual exploration to lived Jewish reality happens through the physical, daily practice of mitzvot (commandments). In Judaism, action precedes and shapes belief—a concept known as na'aseh v'nishma (we will do and we will understand).
To repair the failure of Succoth—the refusal to offer bread to the weary—we can look to the beautiful, weekly rhythm of Shabbat and the blessings over food.
The Practice of Shabbat and Lechem Mishneh
Your concrete next step on this journey is to introduce the practice of Shabbat dinner into your week, specifically focusing on the ritual of Lechem Mishneh (the two loaves of challah).
In Jewish home ritual, we place two whole loaves of bread on the Shabbat table. Historically, this commemorates the double portion of manna that fell in the desert on Fridays to sustain the Israelites through the holy day of rest. But spiritually, in light of our study of Judges 8, these two loaves can also represent our commitment to communal solidarity—the promise that there will always be bread for those who are hungry, weary, or seeking shelter.
Here is a step-by-step guide to bringing this lived rhythm into your home:
Prepare the Space: On Friday afternoon, clean your living space. Set a beautiful table. This is an act of creating Shalom Bayit (peace in the home) and carving out a sanctuary in time.
Acquire Two Loaves of Challah: You can bake them yourself (a deeply meditative and sensory Jewish practice) or buy them from a local bakery. Place them on a board and cover them with a beautiful cloth. The covering of the bread teaches us sensitivity; we cover the challah so it is not "embarrassed" while we make the blessing over the wine first. If we train ourselves to be this sensitive to bread, how much more sensitive must we be to the feelings of our fellow human beings?
Light the Candles: Before sunset, light at least two Shabbat candles. This brings physical and spiritual light into your home, drawing a clear line between the frantic workweek and the peaceful holiness of Shabbat.
Bless the Wine (Kiddush): Fill a cup to overflowing with wine or grape juice, representing the abundance of God's blessings. Recite or listen to the Kiddush, sanctifying the day.
Wash Your Hands (Netilat Yadayim): Before eating the bread, perform the ritual hand washing. Pour water from a washing cup twice over your right hand, then twice over your left. Lift your hands and recite the blessing:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה', אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו, וְצִוָּנוּ עַל נְטִילַת יָדָיִם. Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav, v'tzivanu al netilat yadayim. "Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us concerning the washing of the hands."
From the moment you dry your hands until you eat the bread, maintain silence. This silence builds anticipation and focuses your mind entirely on the holiness of the sustenance you are about to receive.
Uncover and Bless the Bread (Hamotzi): Uncover the two challot. Hold them together, representing unity. Cut or tear a piece, dip it in salt (a reminder of the Temple sacrifices and the covenant of salt), and recite the blessing:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה', אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, הַמּוֹצִיא לֶחֶם מִן הָאָרֶץ. Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, hamotzi lechem min ha-aretz. "Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth."
Share the Bread: Pass the bread to whoever is sitting with you, or eat it in quiet gratitude. As you chew, reflect on the truth that you are eating the bread of the covenant—the very bread that Succoth refused, but which you are actively bringing into your life as a source of strength for your spiritual journey.
By establishing this weekly practice, you are training your body and soul to understand that in Jewish life, we do not eat alone. We eat in the presence of God, and we prepare our tables to always have enough to share with the weary traveler.
Community
You cannot become Jewish in isolation. Judaism is a communal religion; it requires a minyan (a quorum of ten) to recite certain prayers, a beit din to witness a conversion, and a community to celebrate life's joys and comfort us in our losses. Just as Gideon had to navigate the complex tribal dynamics of Ephraim, Manasseh, Succoth, and Penuel, you must begin to navigate the real-world Jewish community.
Your Communal Next Step: Finding a Sponsoring Rabbi or Introduction to Judaism Class
If you are ready to move from reading books to actively engaging with the Jewish people, your next step is to make contact with a local rabbi or enroll in a structured Introduction to Judaism course.
This step can feel incredibly intimidating. You might feel like an outsider, worried that you will say the wrong thing, wear the wrong clothes, or be rejected. But remember: every Jewish community is commanded by the Torah thirty-six times to love the stranger.
Here is how to approach this step with confidence and humility:
- Research Local Synagogues: Look at the different denominations of Jewish life (Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist, Orthodox) to see which community’s values and approach to halakha (Jewish law) resonate with your soul.
- Write a Sincere Email: Reach out to the rabbi of the synagogue you wish to visit. Keep it brief and honest. You might write something like:
"Dear Rabbi [Name], my name is [Your Name], and I am currently exploring the possibility of conversion to Judaism. I have been studying on my own and practicing some rituals at home, and I feel ready to take the next step by learning within a community. I would love to attend a service or schedule a brief meeting to ask about your introduction classes or your process for guiding seekers. I respect your time and the boundaries of your community, and I would be grateful for any guidance you can offer."
- Enroll in an "Intro to Judaism" Course: Many Jewish organizations and synagogues offer year-long courses that cover Jewish history, theology, holidays, and Hebrew. This is the ideal environment to ask questions, meet other seekers, and build a peer group. You will find that you are not alone; there are many others walking this exact path, wrestling with the same questions of belonging.
Do not be discouraged if a rabbi does not respond immediately. Rabbis are incredibly busy, and historically, there is a tradition of testing a seeker’s sincerity by not making the path too easy at first. Be persistent, be patient, and remember that your willingness to knock on the door is itself an act of courage—a declaration that you are ready to be counted among the household of Israel.
Takeaway
The violent, complex, and deeply human stories of Judges 8 remind us that the Jewish people have never been perfect. We have argued, we have faltered, we have hesitated in times of crisis, and we have struggled to maintain our unity.
Yet, this is precisely what makes the Jewish covenant so beautiful. God did not choose a nation of angels; God chose a family of human beings—stubborn, passionate, and resilient—and bound Himself to them forever.
When you explore conversion, you are not signing up for an idealized, conflict-free spiritual club. You are choosing to enter this historic, wrestling family. You are choosing to stand with Ephraim in demanding the dignity of being called to responsibility. You are choosing to reject the fear of Succoth, stepping forward to offer your energy, your love, and your resources to sustain the Jewish people, even when the future is uncertain.
The path of gerut is a long, rigorous, and deeply transformative process. It requires patience, sincere study, and a willingness to let your life be reshaped by the rhythms of the covenant. But if your soul is calling you to this path, know that there is no greater dignity than to stand before the beit din, immerse in the mikveh, and emerge as a partner in this eternal story.
May your learning be sweet, may your steps be steady, and may you find strength in the beautiful, messy, and holy family that is waiting to welcome you home.
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