Numbers 22

Your Journey, Guided by Torah

As you explore the path of gerut, the journey of conversion to Judaism, you are embarking on a profound spiritual adventure. The Torah, our foundational text, is not merely an ancient historical record; it is a living guide, offering wisdom and insight for every step of your discernment. Today, we'll look at a fascinating passage from the book of Numbers that speaks to divine protection, the power of listening, and the often-unexpected ways God's will unfolds. This text, like many others, holds keys to understanding the beauty and commitment of a Jewish life, illuminating aspects of belonging, responsibility, and sincere practice.

Context

• A People on the Threshold: At the beginning of Numbers chapter 22, the Israelites are encamped in the plains of Moab, poised on the eastern side of the Jordan River, just across from Jericho. They are nearing the Promised Land, a culmination of generations of journeying and covenant-building. This moment is fraught with both anticipation and external threat.
• Fear and a Foreign Prophet: The king of Moab, Balak, sees the numerous Israelites and is filled with dread. Believing in the power of curses, he seeks to thwart God's blessed people by hiring Balaam, a renowned non-Jewish prophet, to curse them. This introduces an external perspective on Israel, acknowledging their divine favor even from an adversarial viewpoint.
• Guided by a Divine Hand: Balaam is a complex figure, a prophet who can hear God but struggles with his own motivations and desires. His journey in this chapter, marked by divine intervention and even a talking donkey, highlights that God's plan for Israel, and indeed for all who seek Him, cannot be circumvented. For someone exploring conversion, this narrative underscores that your path is also guided, and ultimately, it culminates in a deeply significant commitment, much like the beit din (rabbinic court) and mikveh (ritual bath) mark the formal entry into the covenant—a sacred threshold, not unlike the Jordan River for the Israelites.

Text Snapshot

Let's look at a few powerful lines from Numbers 22:

But God said to Balaam, “Do not go with them. You must not curse that people, for they are blessed.”

...

Then GOD opened the jenny’s mouth, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you that you have beaten me these three times?”

...

Then GOD uncovered Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of GOD standing in the way, his drawn sword in his hand; thereupon he bowed right down to the ground.

...

But Balaam said to Balak, “And now that I have come to you, have I the power to speak freely? I can utter only the word that God puts into my mouth.”

Close Reading

Insight 1: Embracing a Blessed People – The Foundation of Belonging

The very first divine instruction to Balaam regarding the Israelites is unequivocal: "Do not go with them. You must not curse that people, for they are blessed." This declaration is foundational. It tells us that the Jewish people's existence is not accidental or merely a matter of human history; it is rooted in an inherent, divinely bestowed blessing. This blessing precedes any action or merit on their part in this particular narrative; it is a given, a foundational truth of their covenantal relationship with God.

For you, as someone exploring gerut, this line offers a profound insight into the nature of belonging. When you choose to embrace a Jewish life, you are choosing to join a people who are, by divine declaration, "blessed." This isn't a blessing you need to earn or strive for in the same way Balaam was hired to curse; rather, it's an inheritance you choose to accept and become part of. This sense of belonging is not contingent on external approval or the machinations of adversaries like Balak; it is established by God. The commentaries on Balaam's initial response to God further emphasize this. Rashi on Numbers 22:10:1 notes that Balaam, in telling God about Balak's message, highlights his own perceived importance to kings ("Although I am of no importance in Your eyes, I am of importance in the eyes of kings"). Siftei Chakhamim adds, "For if not so, why was it necessary to say ‘the King of Moav’?" Balaam's ego is tied to his standing with earthly powers. Yet, God's response to Balaam completely bypasses Balaam's self-importance and focuses solely on Israel's inherent blessedness. This teaches us that true belonging in the Jewish covenant is not about one's worldly status or perceived importance, but about God's unwavering commitment to the people He has chosen and blessed. Your journey is about aligning your soul with this enduring blessing, finding your place within a people whose very essence is touched by the Divine. It’s an invitation to share in a destiny that is eternally protected and divinely affirmed. This is a covenantal belonging, a profound and beautiful commitment.

Insight 2: The Sincerity of Listening and the Unveiling of Truth – The Path of Responsibility and Practice

Balaam’s journey in this chapter is a powerful parable about the challenges and necessities of truly listening and seeing. Despite God's initial clear command ("Do not go with them"), Balaam's desire for reward or recognition leads him to subtly press the issue, asking God "what else GOD may say to me." God, in turn, allows him to go, but with a critical caveat: "But whatever I command you, that you shall do." Balaam’s inner conflict and eventual misstep are vividly portrayed when God becomes "incensed at his going," leading to the dramatic intervention of the angel and the talking donkey.

The scene with the donkey is extraordinary: "Then GOD opened the jenny’s mouth, and she said to Balaam, 'What have I done to you that you have beaten me these three times?'" Balaam, blinded by his own anger and perhaps his spiritual ambition, cannot see the angel that his animal instinctively recognizes. It is only after the donkey speaks, and after Balaam's indignant retort, that "GOD uncovered Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of GOD standing in the way." This sequence highlights a crucial aspect of Jewish life and the conversion journey: the need for profound sincerity in listening and a willingness to have one's eyes opened, even if the truth comes from an unexpected source.

For you, this translates into a powerful call to responsibility and practice. The journey of gerut is not merely an intellectual pursuit; it demands a deep, honest engagement with Jewish tradition, community, and personal spiritual growth. It requires you to listen intently to the teachings of Torah, to the wisdom of your teachers, and to the subtle promptings of your own soul. It asks you to open your eyes to new ways of understanding the world, to perceive the divine presence in everyday life, and to recognize guidance even when it challenges your preconceived notions or comforts. Balaam's initial blindness, his inability to see the angel until God intervenes, reminds us that we often miss crucial spiritual signals when we are driven by self-interest or a lack of true humility. The angel's ultimate instruction to Balaam – "Go with the men. But you must say nothing except what I tell you" – underscores that true responsibility lies in aligning one's will completely with God's. This is the essence of Jewish practice: to live a life responsive to God’s commands, to choose to utter only the words God puts into your mouth, and to act in accordance with His will. It is a path of humility, constant learning, and sincere commitment to the covenant, acknowledging that your journey is not just about what you desire, but what God desires for you.

Lived Rhythm

As you continue to open your eyes and ears to the beauty and depth of Jewish life, a powerful next step is to engage with the weekly Torah portion (Parashat HaShavua). This practice is a fundamental rhythm of Jewish living, connecting you to the ongoing narrative of our people and to the continuous revelation of God's wisdom.

• How to do it: Each week, a specific section of the Torah is read in synagogues worldwide. You can find the Parashat HaShavua online (Sefaria.org is an excellent resource) or through a local synagogue. Commit to reading the weekly portion, perhaps with one or two accompanying commentaries (like Rashi, which we touched upon, or other contemporary voices).
• Why it matters: Engaging with the parasha regularly cultivates the very listening and seeing that Balaam struggled with. It's an opportunity to hear God's voice anew each week, to grapple with ethical dilemmas, to celebrate triumphs, and to understand the ongoing covenantal relationship. This concrete practice grounds your exploration in the very text that defines Jewish existence, allowing you to absorb its rhythms and wisdom into your own life. It's a way to actively participate in the collective spiritual journey of the Jewish people, moving beyond intellectual curiosity to lived engagement.

Community

Your journey of exploration should not be a solitary one. Just as the Israelites traveled together, and even Balaam had dignitaries with him, finding a supportive community is vital.

• Connect with a Rabbi or Mentor: Reach out to a rabbi in your area or a mentor within a Jewish community you feel drawn to. Share your questions, your insights from texts like Numbers 22, and your aspirations. A rabbi can provide invaluable guidance on the path of gerut, offering wisdom, resources, and support as you navigate the commitments and joys of this profound choice. They can help you discern whether your path is one God truly desires for you, and how to authentically pursue it with sincerity and integrity. This connection is paramount for understanding the nuances of Jewish practice and community.

Takeaway

Numbers 22 reminds us that the Jewish people are fundamentally "blessed" by God, and that joining this covenant is an act of profound belonging. Your path of gerut is a journey of opening your eyes and ears to God's will, cultivating a deep sincerity in listening, and aligning your life with divine commands. It's a challenging, yet deeply rewarding, commitment to a blessed people and a vibrant, covenantal life. May your journey be filled with clarity, courage, and ever-deepening connection.