Arukh HaShulchan, Orach Chaim 192:3-193:4

Jewish Parenting in 15: The Art of the "Mitzvah Moment"

## Insight

The essence of Jewish parenting, particularly when delving into the practical halachot (Jewish laws) that shape our daily lives, often boils down to cultivating intentional moments of connection and meaning. The Arukh HaShulchan offers us a fascinating glimpse into the meticulous details of Jewish observance, specifically concerning the laws of Tzitzit (fringes worn on garments). While seemingly a niche topic, the underlying principles here are profoundly relevant to how we raise our children. The Arukh HaShulchan's detailed exploration of Tzitzit – when they are required, how they should be made, and the specific obligations associated with them – isn't just about textile engineering or sartorial regulations. It's about imbuing everyday objects with spiritual significance, transforming the mundane into a constant reminder of our covenant with God. For parents, this translates into a powerful opportunity: to create "Mitzvah Moments" throughout our day, weaving Jewish practice into the fabric of family life in ways that are both meaningful and manageable.

The challenge for busy parents is often feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of Jewish tradition. We want our children to connect with their heritage, to understand the beauty and depth of our faith, but the demands of work, school, extracurriculars, and simply keeping the household afloat can leave us feeling depleted. The Arukh HaShulchan, in its thoroughness, might initially seem intimidating. However, by shifting our perspective, we can see it as a blueprint for intentionality. It teaches us that even seemingly small details can carry immense weight. The commandment of Tzitzit is a prime example: a constant, physical reminder of God's presence and the mitzvot. For our children, this can manifest not just through wearing Tzitzit (if applicable), but through any small, consistent act of Jewish observance that becomes a touchstone in their day.

The Arukh HaShulchan highlights the transition from wearing a garment with Tzitzit to one without, and the re-establishment of the obligation. This speaks to the cyclical nature of observance and the importance of mindfulness. It's not about achieving perfect, unbroken adherence, but about recognizing when the opportunity for a mitzvah arises and embracing it. Similarly, in parenting, we have moments where we can actively engage our children in Jewish learning or practice, and moments where the demands of life might necessitate a more simplified approach. The key is not to judge ourselves for the "missed opportunities," but to be present and responsive when the "opportunity for a mitzvah" arises in our family dynamic. This could be a brief explanation of a holiday custom, a shared prayer before a meal, or a discussion about a Jewish value prompted by a real-life situation. These aren't grand productions; they are micro-moments, infused with intention, that build a lasting foundation of Jewish identity.

Furthermore, the Arukh HaShulchan's meticulousness underscores the importance of kavanah (intention). The very act of tying Tzitzit correctly, following specific halachic guidelines, is an act of focused devotion. As parents, we can cultivate this intentionality in our interactions with our children. Instead of simply going through the motions of a Jewish activity, we can pause, connect with our child, and explain why we are doing this, what it means, and how it connects us to something larger. This doesn't require lengthy lectures. A simple, heartfelt explanation during a brief moment can be far more impactful than a formal lesson. We are teaching our children to imbue their actions with meaning, a skill that extends far beyond Jewish observance into all areas of their lives.

The text also touches upon the obligation to wear Tzitzit when one is wearing a four-cornered garment. This highlights the context-dependent nature of Jewish law. What is required in one situation may not be in another. This mirrors the realities of parenting. We adapt our parenting strategies based on our child's age, temperament, and the specific circumstances. There's no one-size-fits-all approach. The Arukh HaShulchan's nuanced discussions encourage us to be thoughtful and adaptable, rather than rigid. We can learn from this to be flexible in our approach to Jewish education, recognizing that what resonates with a toddler might not engage a teenager, and that what is feasible on a quiet Shabbat morning might be impossible during a frantic weekday rush. The goal is to find the "right fit" for our family, at each stage of their development and within the context of our daily lives.

Ultimately, the Arukh HaShulchan's exploration of Tzitzit serves as a powerful metaphor for Jewish parenting. It's about recognizing the potential for holiness in the ordinary, about cultivating intentionality, and about adapting our practices to the realities of our lives. By embracing the concept of the "Mitzvah Moment," we can transform Jewish observance from a burdensome obligation into a source of joy, connection, and enduring meaning for ourselves and our children. We are not striving for perfection, but for presence. We are not aiming for grand gestures, but for consistent, loving efforts that build a rich tapestry of Jewish life within our homes. This approach allows us to bless the chaos and celebrate the micro-wins, knowing that each small step forward is a significant stride in our journey of Jewish parenthood.

The Arukh HaShulchan delves into the specifics of Tzitzit with a level of detail that might seem overwhelming at first glance. It meticulously outlines the conditions under which the mitzvah applies, emphasizing the requirement of a four-cornered garment. This isn't simply a rule; it's an invitation to understand the logic and intention behind Jewish observance. For parents, this translates into the understanding that Jewish practice is not arbitrary. It is rooted in principles and designed to enhance our lives and connection to the Divine. The Arukh HaShulchan's approach encourages us to go beyond rote performance and to seek the deeper meaning, even in the most seemingly minor details. When we approach our parenting with this same spirit of inquiry and intentionality, we can transform everyday moments into opportunities for profound Jewish learning and bonding.

Consider the example of Shabbat. While the full observance of Shabbat is a complex topic, the Arukh HaShulchan's focus on the details of Tzitzit can inspire us to identify and amplify the "Shabbat moments" within our week. This might be as simple as setting aside five minutes to light candles with our children, explaining the significance of the light, or as involved as preparing a special Shabbat meal together. The key is not the scale of the activity, but the deliberate intention to infuse it with Jewish meaning. The Arukh HaShulchan teaches us that even a small thread, properly placed, can hold great significance. In the same way, even a brief, intentional moment of Jewish engagement can hold immense power in shaping a child's Jewish identity.

Furthermore, the Arukh HaShulchan's discussion on when Tzitzit must be worn and when it is optional offers a valuable lesson in flexibility and context. It acknowledges that observances are not always applicable in the same way, and that understanding the nuances is part of the observance itself. This is a crucial insight for parents. We are not expected to be able to teach our children every single aspect of Jewish law at every moment. Instead, we are called to be attuned to the opportunities that arise organically. If a child asks a question about a Jewish concept, that's a perfect "Mitzvah Moment." If a particular holiday falls on a busy day, we can find a simplified, yet meaningful, way to acknowledge it. The Arukh HaShulchan's detailed approach encourages us to be prepared and knowledgeable, but also to apply that knowledge with wisdom and compassion, recognizing the realities of family life.

The underlying principle of Tzitzit is to serve as a constant reminder of God's commandments. This concept of a tangible reminder is something we can replicate in our parenting. What can serve as a "reminder" for our children about Jewish values or practices? It could be a piece of art depicting a Jewish theme, a special song we sing before bedtime, or a family tradition that is unique to our heritage. The Arukh HaShulchan's meticulousness in ensuring the proper observance of Tzitzit can inspire us to be equally thoughtful in creating these reminders for our children. It's about making our Jewishness visible and present in their lives, not as a burden, but as a source of comfort, identity, and inspiration.

The Arukh HaShulchan's discussion, particularly in Orach Chaim 193, about the obligation to put on Tzitzit when dressing in a four-cornered garment, highlights the proactive nature of fulfilling mitzvot. It's not enough to simply have the garment; one must actively don the Tzitzit. This teaches us a vital parenting lesson: Jewish education and practice require active engagement, not passive reception. We can't expect our children to absorb Jewish values by osmosis. We must actively participate with them, guide them, and create opportunities for them to actively engage in Jewish life. This might involve encouraging them to help prepare for Shabbat, to participate in Tzedakah (charity) projects, or to learn a Hebrew word each week. The active component is key to making these experiences meaningful and memorable.

Finally, the Arukh HaShulchan's detailed exploration of Tzitzit encourages a mindset of continuous learning and refinement. Halacha is not static; it is a living tradition that is constantly studied and interpreted. This mirrors the journey of parenting. We are constantly learning, adapting, and refining our approaches. What worked for our first child might not work for our second. What felt right at one stage of their development might need adjustment as they grow. By embracing this spirit of ongoing learning and thoughtful application, we can approach Jewish parenting with a sense of growth and purpose, rather than with a feeling of inadequacy. The Arukh HaShulchan provides a model for this: detailed study, careful consideration, and a commitment to fulfilling the mitzvot to the best of our ability, with unwavering love and empathy for our children.

## Text Snapshot

"He who wears a garment with four corners, and it has Tzitzit on it, is obligated to put them on. And if it does not have Tzitzit on it, he is permitted to wear it without Tzitzit, and he is not obligated to put them on, and he is also not permitted to put them on until he has a garment with four corners, and he has made Tzitzit for it, and attached them to it. And one who is accustomed to wear a garment with four corners, and it does not have Tzitzit, it is as if he is wearing a garment without Tzitzit, and he is not obligated to put them on. And if he desires to put them on, he is permitted to do so." (Arukh HaShulchan, Orach Chaim 192:3)

"It is a positive commandment to put on Tzitzit on a garment with four corners. And the time for this mitzvah is during the day, and not at night. And the reason is that the mitzvah is to see them, and thus the verse says, 'And you shall see them and remember all the commandments of the Lord to do them.' And since one does not see them at night, it is not the time for this mitzvah." (Arukh HaShulchan, Orach Chaim 193:1)

## Activity

The "Mitzvah Moment" Craft & Conversation (≤ 10 min)

The Arukh HaShulchan teaches us about the tangible reminder of Tzitzit. We can harness this principle by creating our own symbolic reminders of Jewish values or holidays with our children. This activity focuses on creating a simple craft that sparks conversation and reinforces a Jewish concept.

For Toddlers (Ages 2-4): "Color Me Blessed"

• Concept: Introducing the idea that certain actions or items bring blessings.
• Materials: Large pre-drawn outlines of simple Jewish symbols (e.g., a Star of David, a Kiddush cup, a Torah scroll, a candle) on sturdy paper, chunky crayons or washable markers.
• Activity:
  1. Preparation (1 min): Have the pre-drawn outlines ready.
  2. Coloring (5-7 min): Sit with your toddler and let them color the outlines. As they color, point to the image and say, "This is a Kiddush cup, we use it on Shabbat to say Bracha (blessing) for wine! It makes us feel happy and thankful." Or, "These are Shabbat candles. When we light them, we say a Bracha and bring light into our home. It's a special time!"
  3. "Mitzvah Moment" Conversation (1-2 min): Once colored, hold up the picture. "Look at your beautiful Kiddush cup! Every time we see this picture, it can remind us to say thank you for the good things we have. That's our little Mitzvah Moment reminder!" Or, "Your Shabbat candles are so bright! This picture reminds us that Shabbat is a time for family and quiet time. We'll look at this picture when we need a reminder of our special Shabbat feeling."
• Micro-Win: Your child engages in a focused activity, learns the name of a Jewish symbol, and hears a simple explanation of its significance, creating a positive association.

For Elementary Schoolers (Ages 5-10): "Symbolic String Art"

• Concept: Understanding that specific actions and symbols connect us to Jewish tradition and its values.
• Materials: Cardboard squares (about 6x6 inches), colorful yarn or string, child-safe scissors, glue or tape, markers.
• Activity:
  1. Preparation (1 min): Cut cardboard into squares. Have yarn/string readily available.
  2. Symbol Selection & Discussion (2-3 min): Discuss a Jewish value or holiday. For example, for Tzedakah (charity), you could talk about helping others. For Sukkot, talk about gratitude for shelter. For Shabbat, talk about rest and family time. Then, ask your child to choose a simple symbol that represents this concept (e.g., a hand for Tzedakah, a small house for Sukkot, a candle for Shabbat).
  3. Crafting (5-7 min):
     • Have your child draw the chosen symbol on the cardboard with a marker.
     • Help them cut pieces of yarn/string. For Tzedakah, they could use red yarn for giving. For Sukkot, brown and green for nature. For Shabbat, yellow or white for light.
     • Guide them to glue or tape the yarn onto the cardboard to fill in the symbol or create a pattern around it. They can also write a word like "Tzedakah," "Sukkot," or "Shabbat" on the cardboard.
  4. "Mitzvah Moment" Conversation (1-2 min): Once the craft is done, hold it up. "This is our Tzedakah reminder! Every time we see this, it can remind us to look for ways to be kind and help others, just like this hand is reaching out. This is our special Mitzvah Moment art!" Or, "Our Shabbat candle art! Let's hang this where we can see it, so it reminds us to slow down and enjoy our family time on Shabbat."
• Micro-Win: Your child actively participates in creating a tangible representation of a Jewish concept, reinforcing learning through a hands-on activity and a brief, focused discussion.

For Tweens/Teens (Ages 11-15): "Value-Driven Tag"

• Concept: Exploring how Jewish values manifest in everyday actions and decisions.

• Materials: Small slips of paper, pens.
• Activity:
  1. Preparation (1 min): Write down 5-7 Jewish values or concepts on separate slips of paper (e.g., Kindness, Honesty, Gratitude, Respect, Learning, Generosity, Peace). Fold them and place them in a bowl or hat.
  2. "Value Draw" (2 min): Have your child draw one slip of paper. Read the value together.
  3. "Mitzvah Moment" Conversation (5-7 min): Engage in a brief, focused discussion:
     • "Okay, the value is 'Kindness.' What's one specific way we can show kindness today or this week?" (Encourage concrete examples, not just abstract ideas).
     • "How does this value connect to our Jewish tradition?" (You can offer a brief explanation or ask them what they know).
     • "Let's call this our 'Kindness Moment.' How can we make sure we remember this today?" (This could be a visual cue, a reminder text, or a commitment to a specific action).
     • Example for "Honesty": "Honesty. What's a small situation where we can be extra honest today? Maybe it's admitting we made a mistake, or being clear about our intentions. This 'Honesty Moment' is about being truthful in our words and actions."
     • Example for "Gratitude": "Gratitude. What's something we're genuinely grateful for right now? Let's take a moment to really appreciate it. This 'Gratitude Moment' is about slowing down and recognizing the good things, big and small."
  4. Commitment (1 min): Agree on a small, actionable step related to the drawn value. This could be as simple as saying "thank you" for something specific at dinner, or making an effort to listen attentively to someone.
• Micro-Win: Your teen engages in a reflective discussion about a Jewish value, connects it to practical application, and commits to a small, intentional action, fostering personal growth and Jewish awareness.

Variations & Extensions:

• Age Blending: For families with mixed ages, adapt the complexity. Toddlers can color, older siblings can help them, and teens can lead the discussion on the chosen value.
• Holiday Focus: Tailor the symbols and values to upcoming holidays. For Chanukah, symbols could be a menorah or dreidel, with values like "light," "hope," or "dedication."
• Ongoing Reminders: Display the crafts in a prominent place as visual reminders of your "Mitzvah Moments." The value slips can be kept in a jar to draw from regularly.
• "Mitzvah Moment" Journal: For older children, encourage them to briefly jot down their "Mitzvah Moment" experience in a journal.

The core idea is to create a tangible or conversational touchpoint that brings a Jewish concept to life in a short, focused, and positive way. The Arukh HaShulchan's emphasis on the details of Tzitzit serves as a reminder that even small, intentional acts can carry significant meaning.

## Script

The Awkward Question: "Why do we have to do this?" (or "This is boring!")

It's inevitable. Our children will question Jewish practices, especially when they seem unfamiliar, cumbersome, or simply uncool. The Arukh HaShulchan's detailed approach to Tzitzit highlights the importance of understanding the "why" behind observance. These scripts aim to provide brief, empathetic, and realistic responses that can turn a moment of resistance into an opportunity for connection.

Scenario 1: The "Why" Question (General)

• Child: "Mom/Dad, why do we have to light Shabbat candles? It's just a chore."
• Parent (Kind, Realistic): "That's a great question! It might feel like a chore sometimes, but lighting the candles is our way of saying 'Welcome, Shabbat!' It's like we're creating a special, peaceful atmosphere in our home, just for this day. It reminds us to slow down, connect with each other, and appreciate the quiet. Think of it as our family's special signal that it's time to be together. What's one good thing about Shabbat that you enjoy?"
  • Rationale: Validates the feeling, offers a simple, relatable explanation (creating atmosphere, slowing down), frames it as a positive family ritual, and pivots to a positive aspect.
  • Reference: Connects to the idea of Tzitzit as a reminder; here, candles are a reminder of Shabbat's sanctity.

Scenario 2: The "Boring" Complaint (During an Activity)

• Child: "This is so boring! I don't want to learn about Tzitzit / sing this Hebrew song / help with this Tzedakah sorting."
• Parent (Empathetic, Time-Bound): "I hear you. Sometimes these things can feel a bit dull, especially when there are other fun things we could be doing. Let's try to make this a quick 'Mitzvah Moment.' How about we do this for just [X minutes] – let's say 5 minutes – and then we can [transition to something more engaging]? What do you think? Can we power through this little bit together?"
  • Rationale: Acknowledges their feeling, offers a time-limited compromise, and frames it as a shared effort.
  • Reference: Echoes the Arukh HaShulchan's focus on specific times and obligations, suggesting a manageable timeframe for the observance.

Scenario 3: The "Why is it Different?" Question (Comparing to Others)

• Child: "Why do we do [Jewish practice] and [friend's name]'s family doesn't?"
• Parent (Proud, Explanatory): "That's a really interesting observation! Every family has their own traditions and ways of celebrating. For us, [Jewish practice] is a special part of our heritage, something that connects us to our history and our community. It's like having a secret family superpower! The Arukh HaShulchan talks about how Tzitzit are a reminder for us, and this is our reminder of who we are and what's important to us. It's not better or worse, just our way, and that makes it special."
  • Rationale: Normalizes differences, frames Jewish practice as a positive, unifying element for the family, and uses an analogy (superpower, secret code).
  • Reference: Directly links to the reminder aspect of Tzitzit and its role in Jewish identity.

Scenario 4: The "I Don't Understand" Moment

• Child: "I don't get what Tzitzit are even for. They're just strings."
• Parent (Practical, Empathetic): "You're right, they are strings! But in Judaism, we believe that even simple things can hold deep meaning. The Arukh HaShulchan explains that these strings are meant to be a reminder – a visual cue to help us remember to be good people and follow God's teachings. Think of it like a little nudge throughout the day. What's something small that helps you remember something important, like to drink water or to be quiet before a test?"
  • Rationale: Validates their perception, then reframes it with the concept of symbolic meaning and personal connection, drawing a parallel to their own experiences.
  • Reference: Directly addresses the literal nature of Tzitzit and its symbolic purpose as explained in Jewish texts.

Scenario 5: The "Too Hard" Resistance

• Child: "Learning all these rules is too hard! I'll never get it right."
• Parent (Encouraging, Micro-Win Focused): "Oh, sweetie, it's okay! Nobody gets it all right away. The most important thing is that we're trying. The Arukh HaShulchan is incredibly detailed, and even rabbis spend their lives studying these things. For us, it's about making small steps. Today, maybe we just focus on understanding [one simple concept related to Tzitzit or the current topic]. That's a huge win! We'll learn more bit by bit, together. I'm here to help you."
  • Rationale: Reassures them that perfection isn't expected, emphasizes the learning process, celebrates small achievements, and offers support.
  • Reference: Uses the complexity of the Arukh HaShulchan itself to normalize the feeling of being overwhelmed and to highlight the value of incremental learning.

Key Principles for Delivery:

• Be Present: Put down your phone, make eye contact.
• Empathy First: "I hear you," "I understand," "That's a good question."
• Keep it Brief: Aim for 30 seconds to a minute. You can always revisit.
• Focus on "Why" (Relatably): Connect to values, feelings, family, or tangible reminders.
• Offer Compromises: Time-limited engagement, "powering through" together.
• Celebrate Effort: Highlight "good enough" tries and small wins.
• Normalize Imperfection: Reassure them that learning is a journey.
• Connect to the Source (Subtly): Frame the practice with the spirit of Jewish texts.

These scripts are not about having all the answers, but about responding with kindness, understanding, and a commitment to making Jewish learning a positive, ongoing experience, even amidst the inevitable challenges.

## Habit

The "Five-Minute Halacha Huddle"

The Arukh HaShulchan is a testament to the detailed and often intricate nature of Jewish law. For busy parents, the idea of engaging with halacha can seem daunting. This micro-habit aims to make Jewish legal concepts accessible and relatable by dedicating just five minutes a few times a week to a focused, child-friendly discussion.

What it is: A brief, scheduled (or opportunistic) conversation with your child about a specific Jewish law or concept, inspired by the detailed discussions in texts like the Arukh HaShulchan. The goal is not exhaustive learning, but creating a brief touchpoint of understanding and connection.

How to do it:

1. Choose a Concept: Pick one small, manageable concept from the Arukh HaShulchan (or a related topic) that you can briefly explain. Examples:
   • Tzitzit: Why do some people wear them? What are they for? (Focus on the "reminder" aspect).
   • Blessings (Brachot): Why do we say blessings before eating, or for certain occasions? (Focus on gratitude and acknowledging God).
   • Shabbat: What's the idea behind resting on Shabbat? (Focus on slowing down, family time).
   • Kashrut: Why do we have specific food laws? (Focus on mindful eating, separating ourselves).
2. Set a Time (or Seize the Moment): Aim for 2-3 times a week. This could be during breakfast, before bed, during a car ride, or even while folding laundry. The key is to keep it to a strict 5 minutes.
3. Engage Your Child:
   • For Younger Children (Preschool-Elementary): Use simple language, analogies, and perhaps a visual aid (a picture, a relevant object). Ask them what they think or if they've seen something similar.
   • For Older Children (Tweens-Teens): Pose a question related to the concept. "Have you ever wondered why we...? What do you think is the point of...?" Encourage them to share their thoughts or connect it to something they've experienced.
4. Focus on the "Why" (in a relatable way): Explain the purpose or meaning behind the practice in a way that resonates with their age and understanding. Use the "Mitzvah Moment" principle: this is a brief, intentional connection.
5. Keep it Light and Positive: Avoid making it feel like a test or a lecture. If they're not engaged, it's okay to end the huddle and try again another time. The goal is exposure and a positive association, not mastery.
6. Celebrate the Effort: Acknowledge their participation. "Thanks for talking about that with me!" or "It's great that you're thinking about these things."

Examples of Five-Minute Halacha Huddles:

• Topic: Tzitzit (Reminder)
  • Parent: "Hey [Child's Name], I was thinking about those strings on some Jewish prayer shawls, called Tzitzit. The Arukh HaShulchan explains they're meant to be a reminder. What do you think they remind people of?" (Allow 1-2 min for response). "Yeah, they remind us to be good and follow God's path. It's like a little nudge throughout the day. What's something small that reminds you to do something important?" (Allow 1-2 min for response). "Great! So, Tzitzit are our special reminders." (End with a positive closing).
• Topic: Blessings (Gratitude)
  • Parent: "We say blessings before we eat, right? Why do you think we do that?" (Allow 1-2 min). "Exactly! It's about saying thank you for the food, for the people who grew it, and for God providing. It helps us appreciate what we have. Can you think of something you're really grateful for right now?" (Allow 1-2 min). "Me too. So, saying a blessing is our way of showing that gratitude."
• Topic: Shabbat (Rest & Connection)
  • Parent: "Shabbat is our day of rest. What does 'rest' mean to you?" (Allow 1-2 min). "That's right. It's not just sleeping, but stopping our busy work and connecting. The Arukh HaShulchan talks about details in Jewish law, and Shabbat is a big detail in Jewish life that helps us connect with family and recharge. What's one thing you hope we can do together on Shabbat this week?" (Allow 1-2 min).

Why this Habit is Achievable:

• Time-Bound: Five minutes is manageable even on the busiest days.
• Low Pressure: The focus is on exposure and conversation, not perfection.
• Flexible: Can be done anywhere, anytime.
• Connects to Text: Provides a practical way to engage with the spirit of Jewish texts like the Arukh HaShulchan.
• Builds Micro-Wins: Each successful huddle is a small victory in fostering Jewish awareness and connection.

This habit transforms the potentially overwhelming task of engaging with Jewish law into a series of small, achievable moments of connection and learning.

## Takeaway + Citations

The Arukh HaShulchan's deep dive into Tzitzit isn't just about fringes; it's a profound lesson in intentionality and embedding meaning into the mundane. For Jewish parents, this offers a powerful blueprint: to create "Mitzvah Moments" – brief, focused opportunities to connect our children with Jewish values, traditions, and the Divine. These moments don't need to be elaborate. They can be a quick explanation of a symbol, a shared reflection on a Jewish value, or a simple acknowledgment of a mitzvah. The Arukh HaShulchan teaches us that even the smallest details, when approached with care and intention, can hold immense spiritual weight. Our role as parents is to recognize these moments, to be present, and to guide our children with empathy and realism, celebrating the "good-enough" tries. By weaving these micro-moments into the fabric of our daily lives, we build a rich and enduring tapestry of Jewish identity, one intentional connection at a time.

## Citations

• Arukh HaShulchan, Orach Chaim 192:3: https://www.sefaria.org/Arukh_HaShulchan%2C_Orach_Chaim.192.3
• Arukh HaShulchan, Orach Chaim 193:1: https://www.sefaria.org/Arukh_HaShulchan%2C_Orach_Chaim.193.1