Menachot 70

Insight: The Growth Mindset of "Good Enough"

In Menachot 70, the Sages grapple with a complex agricultural dilemma: If you tithe your grain, then replant it and it grows even more, does the new growth need to be tithed again? They debate whether the original intent (the first tithe) "covers" the new growth or if the new expansion requires a fresh start.

As parents, we often feel like that grain. We set our intentions, we "tithe" our energy into our kids, and then—suddenly—they grow, change, or hit a new developmental stage that feels like a "new crop." We worry if our past efforts are enough or if we need to start the whole process over. The takeaway? Growth is rarely linear. Just as the Sages debate the status of the "additional growth," we must accept that parenting isn't a one-time harvest. Every new phase requires us to show up differently, and that’s not a sign of failure—it’s the reality of a living, breathing family.

Text Snapshot

"If you say that we do not follow the main growth and therefore the additional growth requires the separation of tithes... [is the main growth also obligated?]" (Menachot 70a)

Activity: The "Re-Potting" Check-in (5 Minutes)

Sit with your child (or reflect on your own) and identify one way they have "grown" or changed in the last three months. Ask: "What is one thing you used to find hard that is easier now?" Acknowledge that because they have grown, the "rules" (your expectations or their responsibilities) might need a small adjustment.

Script: When They Ask "Why did you change the rules?"

If a child pushes back on a new expectation: "You’re right, the rule used to be different. But you’ve grown, just like a plant gets bigger. Because you’re more capable now, our 'harvest'—what we expect from you—needs to grow too. Let’s figure out how this new version of the rule works for both of us."

Habit: The Micro-Win Monday

Each Monday, identify one recurring parenting struggle (e.g., morning routine, screen time) and commit to one "micro-adjustment" for that week. If it doesn't work, don't label it a failure—label it "additional growth" and adjust again next week.

Takeaway

Don't fear the "new growth" in your child’s behavior. It’s not that your previous parenting was wrong; it’s that your child is evolving. Adapt your strategy, bless the mess, and remember: you are always allowed to replant.