Mishneh Torah, Marriage 14-16

Sugya Map: The Mechanics of Onah

• Issue: The calibration of onah (conjugal rights) based on labor, status, and physical capacity.
• Nafka Mina: Liability for divorce (and ketubah forfeiture) when the husband fails to meet these specific temporal obligations.
• Primary Sources: Ketubot 61b–62b; Mishneh Torah, Hilchot Ishut 14:1–8.

Text Snapshot

"העונה האמורה בתורה... לפי כוחו של כל אדם ולפי מלאכתו" (Marriage 14:1)

• Lomdus nuance: Rambam defines onah as a function of the husband's koach (physical strength) rather than an abstract, universal quota. It is an objective obligation tethered to the subjective biological reality of the laborer.

Readings

• Rambam (14:1): Onah is not merely a husband's right; it is a duty to be "responsive" (onah = to answer). He categorizes frequencies (daily to once every six months) based on occupation, treating the scholar’s "weakness" from study as a valid halachic variable.
• Maggid Mishneh (14:8): Defends the Rambam’s controversial ruling that a wife claiming repulsion (moredet due to ma’is alay) is divorced without ketubah. He highlights the tension between the husband’s ownership of the marriage and the wife’s dignity as a non-captive.

Friction

• Kushya: If onah is a Torah-mandated obligation (Exodus 21:10), how can a husband’s professional life or a student’s study schedule unilaterally reduce it? Does the Torah allow the mitzvah to be scaled down?
• Terutz: The obligation is not "fixed" but "proportional." The mitzvah is to provide intimacy as a function of the marriage. By choosing a lifestyle (e.g., camel-driving or Torah study), the husband establishes a baseline of physical availability; the mitzvah is to meet the maximum capacity permitted by his chosen state of life.

Intertext

• SA Even HaEzer 76:1: Codifies the onah schedule, reinforcing that these are not mere suggestions but the framework of the marital contract.
• Genesis 31:33: Rashi/Rambam ground the "separate household" requirement for multi-wife marriages in the precedent of Jacob, establishing that intimacy requires the privacy of a distinct domain.

Psak/Practice

The onah obligations remain the bedrock of the ketubah document. While modern labor does not always fit the "donkey-driver" categories, the principle holds: the husband is legally and halachically obligated to prioritize his wife’s accessibility over his own convenience.

Takeaway

Onah is not a transaction but an attentiveness. Halacha measures a husband’s love not by his feelings, but by the physical boundaries he respects to ensure his wife is never "held captive."