Mishneh Torah, Mourning 6-8

Sugya Map

• Issue: The rabbinic origin and specific applications of the shloshim mourning period.
• Nafka Mina(s): Gender-specific halachot within shloshim (e.g., haircutting); stricter shloshim for avelut av v'eim; the overall rabbinic authority for avelut duration.
• Primary Sources: Devarim 21:13, Mishneh Torah, Mourning 6:1-3.

Text Snapshot

The Rambam opens our discussion:

"מִדִּבְרֵי סוֹפְרִים, אֲבֵל חַיָּב לִנְהֹג מִקְצָת דִּינֵי אֲבֵלוּת שְׁלֹשִׁים יוֹם. מֵאַיִן לָמְדוּ חֲכָמִים דָּבָר זֶה? מִמַּה שֶּׁכָּתוּב: 'וּבָכְתָה עַל אָבִיהָ וְעַל אִמָּהּ יֶרַח יָמִים' (דברים כא, יג), מִכְּלָל שֶׁכָּל הָאֲבֵלוּת תִּהְיֶה יֶרַח יָמִים." (Mishneh Torah, Mourning 6:1) The phrase "מדברי סופרים" (Rabbinic Law) is key, indicating a rabbinic decree despite a scriptural asmachta. The passuk from eishes yefat to'ar (Deut. 21:13) serves as a general inference for the duration of mourning.

Further, the Rambam states:

"בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים? בָּאִישׁ. אֲבָל הָאִשָּׁה, מֻתֶּרֶת הִיא לְהִסְתַּפֵּר לְאַחַר שִׁבְעָה אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהָאִישׁ אָסוּר עַד שְׁלֹשִׁים." (Mishneh Torah, Mourning 6:3) This establishes a crucial gender distinction regarding haircutting within the shloshim period.

Readings

• Kesef Mishneh: Clarifies that the derivation from eishes yefat to'ar is an asmachta, not a d'Oraita source, affirming "מדברי סופרים." He cites Mo'ed Katan (14a, 17b) as the foundational Gemara for these laws.

  "מדברי סופרים. כלומר: דלאו דאורייתא הוא, אלא אסמכוה אקרא." (Kesef Mishneh on Mishneh Torah, Mourning 6:1)

• Radbaz: Grapples with the apparent contradiction in 6:3 – if shloshim is derived generally from "ירח ימים," why is a woman permitted to cut her hair after shiva? He posits two possibilities: either kavod habriyot (human dignity) for women overrides for giluach after shiva, or the passuk is merely an asmachta for the general concept of shloshim, while the specific halachot and their applications (including gender differences) are independent takkanot Chachamim.

  "וכן משמע בפרק ב' דמועד קטן (דף יז ע"ב). וקשה מאי שנא אשה מאיש? אפשר משום כבוד הבריות, או דלאו דאורייתא כלל הוא אלא אסמכתא בעלמא, ומה שהתירו לאשה אסרו לאיש." (Radbaz on Mishneh Torah, Mourning 6:3)

Friction

Kushya: The Rambam (6:1) derives the shloshim obligation, including haircutting, from "ירח ימים" (Deut. 21:13). Yet, in 6:3, he permits a woman to cut her hair after shiva, unlike a man. If the passuk implies a general "ירח ימים" for all avelut, why does Chazal differentiate so starkly for women's giluach? The passuk itself makes no gender distinction for the "ירח ימים" of mourning.

Terutz: The Radbaz offers a compelling resolution: the passuk of eishes yefat to'ar serves as an asmachta for the idea of a month-long mourning period, establishing shloshim as a rabbinic institution. However, the specific details of which prohibitions apply for how long, and to whom, are takkanot Chachamim that can be tailored. Thus, Chazal could (and did) exempt women from the giluach prohibition after shiva due to kavod habriyot – their greater need for presentability in society.

Intertext

• Devarim 21:10-14: The full context of eishes yefat to'ar, where the captive woman is given a month to mourn her parents before marriage, highlights the passuk's origin in a specific, unique scenario.
• Mo'ed Katan 14a, 17b: The Gemara foundational to many hilchot avelut, where the various issurim and their durations are discussed, often without explicit scriptural links for every detail, reinforcing their mid'Rabbanan nature.

Psak/Practice

The psak follows the Rambam: a man observes shloshim for haircutting (and for av v'eim, until yiga'aru bo chaveirav), while a woman is permitted to cut her hair after shiva due to kavod habriyot. This distinction is standard halacha (e.g., Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 380:4).

Takeaway

The shloshim period, though rooted in a scriptural asmachta, is fundamentally mid'Rabbanan, allowing Chazal flexibility to adapt its halachot based on gender, context, and kavod habriyot.