Mishneh Torah, Those Who Defile Bed or Seat 7-9 · Parenting voice, Bite-sized

Insight: The Weight of Our Presence

In the laws of Midras (Mishneh Torah, Those Who Defile Bed or Seat 7-9), the Rambam details how a zav (a person with a flow) imparts impurity not just by touch, but by the weight of their body—leaning, sitting, or resting. The technical takeaway is that for an object to become "impure," it must bear the majority of the person’s weight.

As parents, we are the "supports" for our children. Sometimes we are present for the "heavy" moments—the tantrums, the big emotions, the crises. Other times, we are just the background, like the floor beneath their feet. This text reminds us that our "weight"—our emotional state, our stress, our calm—directly impacts the atmosphere of our home. As we enter Leil Selichot, we acknowledge that we haven't always been the "sturdy" support we wanted to be. That’s okay. We don't need to be perfect; we just need to be present.