Mishneh Torah, Marriage 15

Sugya Map

• Issue: The intersection of Pru u’rvu (procreation) and Onah (conjugal rights) in Rambam’s framework.
• Nafka Minah: Whether a wife can waive Onah rights post-procreation, and the status of the "remaining" obligation to continue procreating.
• Primary Sources: Yevamot 65b, Mishneh Torah, Marriage 15:1, Genesis 1:28.

Text Snapshot

"It is permissible for a woman to authorize her husband to ignore her conjugal rights. When does this apply? When he has children already and has fulfilled the mitzvah to be fruitful and multiply." Mishneh Torah, Marriage 15:1

The dikduk here is precise: Rambam links the waiver of Onah specifically to the fulfillment of Pru u'rvu. If the mitzvah is incomplete, Onah is not merely a privilege but a mandatory mechanism for the mitzvah, rendering the wife's waiver legally ineffective.

Readings

• Turei Zahav (Taz): Questions why a wife cannot waive her rights even after Pru u'rvu, given that the Sages imposed a secondary obligation to continue fathering children.
• Chidah (via Pitchei Teshuvah): Resolves the kushya by distinguishing between the Torah-level requirement (absolute) and the Rabbinic mandate (endeavor). The latter does not demand the same level of coercive "perseverance" as the former.

Friction

Kushya: If the Sages mandate continued procreation, why does the wife's waiver hold any weight? Terutz: As the Chidah suggests, the Rabbinic obligation is a "directed effort," not a rigid, high-stakes demand. The Tzafnat Pa’neach adds that Onah and Pru u’rvu are distinct legal entities; when the Torah-level mitzvah is met, the "servitude" of the husband to the reproductive mandate is effectively settled, allowing for consensual waiver.

Intertext

The tension between individual desire and collective continuity echoes the Erev Rosh Hashana ethos. Just as we transition from the personal din (judgment) to the universal malchut (kingship), the individual obligation to "build a world" (Yevamot 63b) is tempered by the human dignity of the partners within the marriage.

Psak/Practice

While the letter of the law allows for a wife to waive Onah, the meta-psak heuristic remains the preservation of Shalom Bayit. Even after fulfilling Pru u’rvu, the obligation to "sow your seed" (Ecclesiastes 11:6) functions as a spiritual mandate—not a mechanism for coercion.

Takeaway

Fulfillment of mitzvot is never a license to ignore the dignity of one's partner; the law provides the floor for obligation, but the "spirit of joy" (Mishneh Torah, Marriage 15:15) sets the ceiling for the marriage.