Shulchan Arukh, Orach Chayim 120:1-121:2

Hook

Remember those late-night campfire sessions, the stars so bright you could almost touch them? We’d sit around, someone would strum a guitar, and we’d sing songs of longing, of connection, of asking for good things. One that always stuck with me was about wishing for home, for a place where we belong, a place of warmth and belonging. Well, today, we’re going to tap into that same feeling, but we’re going to do it with a prayer that’s been sung for centuries, a prayer that asks for acceptance, for ratzon – favor, willingness, acceptance. It’s called "R'tzei," and it’s found right here in the Shulchan Arukh.

Context

This little snippet from the Shulchan Arukh, Orach Chayim 120:1-121:2, might seem small, but it’s packed with meaning, especially for us, who carry the spirit of Jewish camping in our hearts. Think of it like this:

A Forest Path

• Campfires and Connection: Just like a campfire brings us together, the prayers we say are meant to connect us to something bigger, to the Divine. The "R'tzei" prayer is a plea for that connection to be accepted, for our prayers to be heard and welcomed.
• The Flow of the Day: Imagine the sun tracking across the sky. Our prayers, like the sun, follow a rhythm throughout the day. The text touches on whether "R'tzei" is said in every prayer, even the afternoon one. It’s about understanding the nuances of this daily flow, just like we understood the rhythm of camp days, from morning assembly to evening campfire.
• Finding Your Place in the Woods: The "Modim" section, which we’ll also peek at, talks about bowing. This is a physical act of reverence, like bowing to the beauty of a towering redwood or the vastness of the night sky. It’s about recognizing something greater than ourselves and finding our place within it.

Text Snapshot

We say "R'tzei" in all the [Amidah] prayers; and this is not like those who have a custom to not say it in the afternoon [Amidah] prayer.

The Laws of "Modim". We bow in "Modim" ["We are thankful"] at the beginning [of it] and at the end. One who says "Modim Modim", we silence [that person]. An individual does not say "Birkat Kohanim" ["The Priestly Blessing"].

Close Reading

Let's dig a little deeper into these few lines. They might seem straightforward, but when we unpack them, they offer some beautiful insights for our lives beyond the synagogue walls, and even beyond the camp gates.

Insight 1: The Heart of "R'tzei" - A Prayer for Acceptance

The core of this section is the mitzvah (commandment) to say "R'tzei" in every Amidah prayer. The Shulchan Arukh is definitive here: "We say 'R'tzei' in all the [Amidah] prayers." This isn't just a suggestion; it's a directive. The commentators grapple with why this is so important, and their explanations are fascinating.

The Tur, for instance, explains that "R'tzei" comes after the section "Shom'a Tephillah" (Hear our Prayer). He connects it to Isaiah 56:7, "For My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations." Even though the Temple service (the avodah) is no longer physically present, our prayers are now in its place. We pray for our prayers to be accepted with favor, just as the sacrifices were accepted on the altar. This is where the Turei Zahav commentary dives deep, referencing the Midrash about the soul of the righteous being offered on the heavenly altar. It’s like saying, "God, we don't have the physical sacrifices anymore, but we have our heartfelt prayers. Please, accept them with the same warmth and willingness you showed to those ancient offerings."

The Mishnah Berurah brings in a whole host of commentators, including the Beit Yosef, who cites Sefer haManhig. They discuss the custom in some communities not to say "R'tzei" in the afternoon prayer. The Mishnah Berurah points out that the Taz (Turei Zahav) felt this custom was incorrect and that saying "R'tzei" in all prayers is the proper way. He even suggests that skipping it is like skipping a crucial part of the prayer's structure, akin to making a mistake in a blessing.

This is where we can bring this home. Think about how we express our desires, our hopes, our apologies to our family members. Do we just blurt them out, or do we seek their ratzon, their acceptance, their understanding? When we ask for something – a favor, forgiveness, or even just a moment of peace at home – we’re essentially asking for ratzon. The prayer "R'tzei" is a constant reminder that our words, our actions, our intentions, need to be offered with a plea for acceptance.

In our families, this translates to how we communicate. When we've made a mistake, do we just expect things to be okay, or do we genuinely ask for forgiveness and understanding? When we want to share something important, do we just present it, or do we ask for our family’s ratzon – their willingness to listen, to engage? The prayer "R'tzei" is a profound teaching in humility and the importance of seeking genuine connection and acceptance. It’s about not just speaking our truth, but ensuring our truth is received with open hearts.

Insight 2: The Dance of "Modim" - Gratitude in Motion

Now, let's look at "Modim," the prayer of thanksgiving. The Shulchan Arukh states, "We bow in 'Modim' at the beginning [of it] and at the end." This is a physical manifestation of our gratitude. Bowing is a universal gesture of respect and humility. Think about how we express gratitude in our daily lives. Sometimes it’s a quick "thank you," but sometimes it’s a deeper, more profound expression.

The commentators discuss the severity of saying "Modim Modim," which is forbidden. This emphasizes the importance of sincerity and avoiding repetition that can dilute the meaning. It’s like singing a song with all your heart versus just going through the motions. The repetition of "Modim" is seen as a flaw, suggesting that our gratitude should be genuine and focused.

The idea of bowing at the beginning and end of "Modim" is particularly striking. It frames the entire prayer of thanksgiving with an act of deep reverence. It’s not just about listing what we’re thankful for; it’s about the act of being thankful, the posture of our hearts.

How does this translate to home? Think about expressing gratitude to your partner, your kids, your parents. A simple "thank you" is great, but sometimes, a more deliberate expression is needed. Maybe it’s a heartfelt card, a special gesture, or even just taking a moment to sit and truly appreciate what someone has done. The bowing in "Modim" is like an outward sign of an inward feeling of deep appreciation. It’s a reminder that gratitude isn’t just a thought; it’s an experience, a posture, a way of being.

Furthermore, the prohibition against saying "Modim Modim" is a powerful lesson in avoiding superficiality in our relationships. When we express gratitude, it needs to be genuine. If we’re constantly saying "thanks" without really meaning it, it loses its impact. In our families, this means being mindful of the sincerity of our expressions of appreciation. Are we truly thankful, or are we just going through the motions? The "Modim" prayer, with its emphasis on bowing and avoiding repetition, encourages us to cultivate a deep, authentic sense of gratitude that permeates our interactions.

Micro-Ritual

Let's create a little ritual to bring this home this week. We're going to call it the "Gratitude Bow & Blessing."

Here's how it works:

On Friday night, as you gather for Shabbat dinner, or even on Saturday night, as you transition out of Shabbat with Havdalah, take a moment for this.

1. The "R'tzei" Moment: Before you start your meal or your Havdalah ceremony, have one person (or take turns each week) say a simple sentence incorporating the idea of ratzon. It could be something like:

   • "May this meal be received with ratzon by all of us, and may we receive each other with ratzon."
   • Or, for Havdalah: "As we transition from Shabbat, may our prayers for peace and connection be received with ratzon."

2. The "Modim" Bow: After the "R'tzei" moment, and before you dive into blessings or songs, take a collective, or individual, bow. It doesn’t have to be a deep, formal bow. It can be a slight incline of the head and shoulders, a gentle acknowledgement of the blessings you’re about to partake in or the transition you’re making. This is your physical expression of gratitude, your moment to acknowledge the good.

3. The "Modim" Blessing (Simplified): Then, have someone offer a very simple, heartfelt blessing of thanks, focusing on just one or two things. It could be as simple as:

   • "We are thankful for this food, for this time together, and for the peace of Shabbat."
   • Or for Havdalah: "We are thankful for the light of Shabbat and for the strength to face the week ahead."

Why this works:

• Connects to the Text: It directly incorporates the concepts of "R'tzei" (seeking acceptance) and "Modim" (gratitude expressed physically and verbally).
• Simple and Adaptable: It can be done in under 5 minutes and can be adapted to any meal or occasion.
• Experiential: The physical bow makes it more than just words; it's an embodied practice.
• Family Focused: It creates a moment of shared intention and gratitude within the family unit.

Sing-able Line Suggestion:

For the "R'tzei" moment, you could even try a simple, humming niggun (a wordless melody) that feels welcoming and open. Or, if you have a simple tune for "Shehecheyanu" (Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Who has kept us alive and sustained us and brought us to this time), you could hum a few bars of that, focusing on the feeling of gratitude for reaching this moment.

The key is to make it a moment of intentional connection, a little spark of "campfire Torah" right at your own table.

Chevruta Mini

Let’s chew on these ideas a bit more. Grab a friend, or just ponder these questions yourself:

Question 1: The Echo of Acceptance

The text emphasizes saying "R'tzei" in all prayers. How can we cultivate a practice of seeking "acceptance" (ratzon) not just from a higher power, but from the people in our lives, even when it’s difficult? What are some small, concrete steps we can take this week to ask for understanding or forgiveness, rather than assuming it?

Question 2: The Shape of Gratitude

The "Modim" prayer involves bowing, a physical act of gratitude. Beyond saying "thank you," how can we incorporate more physical or tangible expressions of gratitude into our daily lives and family interactions? Think about actions, gestures, or even moments of shared quiet appreciation.

Takeaway

This week, let's carry the spirit of "R'tzei" and "Modim" with us. Remember that our prayers, our words, and our actions are all opportunities to seek acceptance and to express deep gratitude. Just like at camp, where every song, every story, every shared moment built connection, so too can these ancient prayers, when brought to life in our homes, build stronger, more connected relationships. Let our homes be places where ratzon flows freely, and where gratitude is expressed not just with words, but with our whole beings.