Deuteronomy 14:22-16:17

Insight

In this week’s portion, Re’eh, we encounter a series of instructions that might seem like a dry administrative ledger: laws about tithing, debt remission, and the handling of the poor. Yet, beneath the technical details lies a profound, heartbeat-rhythm for family life: the transition from "having" to "giving." The Torah uses the double-verb Aseir t’aseir—literally, "tithe, you shall tithe." Our sages, particularly the Kli Yakar, point out that this doubling isn’t just for emphasis; it is a spiritual promise. The act of giving is a recursive loop. When you give, you build the capacity to give more. It is the antidote to the "scarcity mindset" that plagues modern parenting. We often feel that if we give our time, our patience, or our resources to others, we will be left with nothing. But the Torah teaches that our family’s "yield" is not a static pile to be hoarded; it is a flow to be managed.

Think about the chaos of a Tuesday afternoon. The laundry is piling up, the kids are demanding snacks, and your own internal "tank" feels empty. It is tempting to hoard your remaining patience, to shut the door of your heart, and to simply survive. The Kli Yakar reminds us that the "sin of Sodom" was the refusal to open the hand to the poor and needy. In our homes, the "needy" are often our own children who need our emotional availability, or our neighbors who need a moment of grace. When we "open our hand," even when we are tired, we are actually training our hearts to be expansive rather than contracted.

The text links this generosity directly to the concept of simcha—joy. We are commanded to eat the tithe and "rejoice with your household." This is the core of our parenting mission: teaching our children that wealth, time, and energy are not meant to be frozen in place. They are meant to be shared in the presence of the Divine. By involving our children in the "tithe"—whether that’s putting coins in a tzedakah box, sharing a favorite toy with a sibling, or simply deciding to give an extra ten minutes of undivided attention to a child who is struggling—we are teaching them that we are part of a larger community. We are not just raising individuals; we are raising "treasured ones" who understand that their purpose is to be a blessing to others. When you feel that "middle-of-the-week" squeeze, remember: you are not losing what you give away. You are participating in a divine cycle of abundance. You are teaching your children that the most powerful thing they can do with their "harvest"—their talents, their love, their stuff—is to share it.

Text Snapshot

"You shall surely tithe all the yield of your seed, which is brought forth from the field year by year. You shall consume the tithe of your new grain and wine and oil... in the presence of the Eternal your God... so that you may learn to revere the Eternal your God forever." — Deuteronomy 14:22–23

Activity: The "Double-Hand" Jar

This 10-minute activity takes the abstract concept of Aseir t’aseir (tithe, you shall tithe) and makes it physical.

Steps:

1. The Setup: Grab two jars or boxes. Label one "Our Harvest" (for family needs/treats) and one "The World's Garden" (for tzedakah or helping others).
2. The Conversation: Explain that the Torah tells us to give away a part of what we have so we remember that everything is a gift. Ask your child: "If we had ten cookies, and we wanted to show we were grateful, how many should we share?"
3. The Micro-Action: Take 10 items (pennies, dried beans, or even pieces of fruit). Have your child count them out. For every ten, move one into "The World's Garden" jar.
4. The "Why": As you move the item, say: "We are opening our hand so we don’t close our heart." This is your 30-second anchor for the week.
5. The Joy: Plan together where that jar will go. Will it be to a local food pantry? A family pet shelter? Giving them agency over the "tithe" transforms the chore into a choice.

This activity works because it removes the guilt of "losing" something and replaces it with the empowerment of "creating" something for someone else. It is a tangible way to teach that our resources are not meant to be stagnant.

Script: Answering "Why do I have to share?"

When a child bristles at sharing or giving, we often default to "Because I said so" or "It's nice to share." Try this instead:

"I know it feels hard to let go of your favorite thing. But here is a secret: we are like a garden. If we keep all our water inside, the garden doesn't grow, and the flowers don't bloom. When we give a little bit away, we are telling the world that we have enough, and that we trust that more love and goodness will come back to us. We aren't just 'giving things away'; we are making space for new things to grow. You have a big heart, and sharing is how you show the world just how big it is. Let’s decide together what we want to share today, so we can practice being the kind of people who always have enough to give."

Habit: The "Open Hand" Micro-Check

This week, practice the "Open Hand" check. Every time you feel overwhelmed by a request—whether it's a child asking for a story, a partner asking for help, or a neighbor needing a favor—physically open your hand, palm up, for two seconds before you answer.

This micro-habit is a somatic "reset." It signals to your nervous system that you are choosing to be in a state of flow rather than a state of defense. You don't have to say "yes" to every demand, but by opening your hand, you change your internal posture from "defending" to "considering." It turns a moment of potential irritation into a moment of intentionality. If you can’t give, you can at least offer a kind "no" with an open hand, which preserves the dignity of the relationship. It is a tiny, 2-second act of holiness that reminds you that you are a parent who acts out of abundance, not out of fear.

Takeaway

Parenting is a marathon of small, repetitive acts. By tithing our time, our energy, and our resources, we teach our children that we are not living in a world of scarcity. We are living in a world of potential. You are doing enough, you have enough, and you are creating a legacy of generosity that will outlast the mess in your living room. Bless the chaos—it’s just the soil for your family’s garden.