I Kings 15:8-16:14

Here's your 5-minute Jewish parenting lesson, designed to be practical, empathetic, and time-boxed!

## Insight

Our parashah this week dives deep into the lives of several kings of Israel and Judah, and while it might seem like a history lesson filled with political intrigue and religious backsliding, there's a profound message for us as parents. We see kings like Abijam, who "was not wholehearted with the ETERNAL his God," yet for David's sake, a "lamp" was preserved in Jerusalem. Then comes Asa, who "did what was pleasing to GOD" and even deposed his own mother for her idolatrous practices, though the shrines "were not abolished." This pattern of imperfection and partial success is incredibly human, and it mirrors our own parenting journeys. We are not expected to be perfect, nor are our children. The Torah, in its honesty, shows us that even those in positions of power and responsibility had flaws and made mistakes. Abijam's reign is a stark reminder that even with a legacy and lineage, personal commitment matters. Yet, the text doesn't leave us in despair. The preservation of the "lamp" for David's sake highlights the concept of inherited merit and the ripple effect of good deeds, even when they are not consistently replicated. This is a powerful reminder for us as parents: the values we instill, the foundation we lay, and the moments of genuine connection we create can have lasting impact, even if our children stray or we ourselves falter.

Asa's story introduces another layer of complexity. He's a step up from his predecessor, actively working to remove idols and even taking a difficult stand against his own mother. This shows us that growth and change are possible, even within established systems and family dynamics. However, the caveat that "the shrines, indeed, were not abolished" is crucial. It points to the reality that we can make significant progress, achieve "good-enough" parenting, and still find that not every challenge is fully eradicated. Parenting isn't about achieving a state of perfect purity or eradicating all negative influences. It's about continuous effort, making choices that align with our values, and taking steps, however small, towards a more positive path. The text acknowledges Asa's wholeheartedness for the rest of his life, suggesting that even with past imperfections or lingering issues, sustained commitment can make a difference. This is where we can find immense comfort. We don't need to achieve a flawless parenting record. We need to aim for "wholeheartedness" in our efforts, understanding that there will be ongoing challenges and areas where we, and our children, can continue to grow. The narrative encourages us to bless the chaos of our family life, to focus on the micro-wins, and to recognize that our efforts, even when imperfect, contribute to a larger, ongoing story of faith and continuity. The kings' stories are not meant to shame us into perfection, but to empower us to keep trying, to learn from the past, and to strive for what is "pleasing to GOD" in our own unique, messy, and beautiful ways.

## Text Snapshot

"Asa did what was pleasing to GOD, as his forefather David had done. He expelled the consecrated workers from the land, and he removed all the idols that his ancestors had made. He also deposed his mother Maacah from the rank of queen mother, because she had made an abominable thing for [the goddess] Asherah. Asa cut down her abominable thing and burnt it in the Wadi Kidron. The shrines, indeed, were not abolished; however, Asa was wholehearted with the Eternal his God all his life." (I Kings 15:11-14)

## Activity

Micro-Win: "Ancestor Amulets"

This activity encourages reflection on the positive traits and values we want to pass down, acknowledging both our lineage and our personal growth. It's a way to connect with the idea of inherited wisdom and personal commitment, just like the kings in our text.

Time: 10 minutes

Materials:

• Small pieces of sturdy paper or cardstock (pre-cut to about 2x3 inches)
• Crayons, colored pencils, or markers
• A hole punch
• String or yarn (cut into short lengths)

Instructions:

1. Introduction (2 minutes): "In our Torah portion, we read about kings who tried to do what was right, sometimes succeeding and sometimes not. They had ancestors who set examples, both good and bad. Today, we're going to create 'Ancestor Amulets' to think about the good things we want to remember and pass on, just like the kings who tried to follow in David's footsteps. We can think about the good qualities we inherited from our families, and the good qualities we want to build in ourselves and our children."

2. Brainstorming & Drawing (5 minutes):

   • Parent(s): Think of one positive trait or value that is important to you or your family heritage. It could be kindness, resilience, generosity, creativity, a love of learning, a sense of humor, or a commitment to justice. Draw a simple symbol or image that represents this trait on your paper.
   • Child(ren) (age-appropriate): Ask your child(ren) to think of something they like about themselves or something kind they did recently. Or, ask them to think about a character in a book or movie they admire and why. Help them draw a symbol for that trait on their paper. If they're very young, they can just make scribbles or colors that represent the feeling.

3. Assembly (3 minutes):

   • Once the drawings are complete, help each person punch a hole in the top of their paper amulet.
   • Thread a short piece of string or yarn through the hole and tie it to create a loop.
   • You can wear these around your neck, tie them to a backpack, or hang them somewhere visible as a reminder.

Why it works: This activity is tangible, creative, and personal. It frames the abstract idea of values and lineage into something concrete and visually appealing. It encourages conversation about positive attributes without pressure, focusing on "good-enough" representation through drawing. It also allows for individual expression while connecting to a shared family concept.

## Script

Awkward Question: "Mom/Dad, why did King Asa get rid of his own mother?"

Response (30 seconds):

"That's a really interesting question about King Asa and his mother, Maacah. In our Torah reading, it says Asa's mom made an 'abominable thing' for a goddess. Asa saw this and knew it was wrong according to his beliefs. Even though she was his mother, and that's super hard, he felt he had to make a strong choice to remove her from her special position because he wanted to be completely loyal to God. It shows how sometimes, even when it's difficult and involves family, we have to make tough decisions based on what we believe is right. It's a lesson about standing up for your values, even when it's complicated."

Why it works: This script is direct, acknowledges the difficulty of the situation, and reframes it in terms of values and making tough choices. It avoids judgment and keeps the focus on the action and the belief system, making it age-appropriate and less likely to instill guilt or confusion.

## Habit

Micro-Habit: The "One-Thing" Acknowledgement

This week, aim to acknowledge one thing your child did that was "good-enough" parenting. It doesn't have to be a huge accomplishment or a perfect behavior. It could be:

• They shared a toy (even if you had to remind them).
• They tried their homework, even if they struggled.
• They offered a kind word to a sibling.
• They helped with a small chore without too much fuss.
• They expressed a feeling honestly, even if it was anger.

How to do it: Simply say, "I noticed you [specific action]. That was really [positive adjective - kind, helpful, patient, honest]." Or, "That was a good try with [task]." The key is to be specific and genuine.

Why it works: This habit shifts focus from what's wrong to what's right (or right-enough). It reinforces positive behaviors and builds a child's self-esteem by showing them they are seen and valued for their efforts, not just their perfection. For busy parents, it's a low-effort, high-impact way to nurture your child's development and your relationship.

## Takeaway

Our journey through I Kings this week reminds us that leadership, and indeed parenting, is rarely about absolute perfection. It's about striving for "wholeheartedness" in our efforts, even when faced with imperfection, lingering challenges, and difficult decisions. We can learn from the kings that our actions have ripple effects, and that even partial successes can pave the way for future good. Embrace the "good-enough" tries, celebrate the micro-wins, and remember that the most important legacy we build is not one of flawless execution, but of consistent, loving effort rooted in our values. Bless the chaos, and keep moving forward, one day at a time.