I Kings 7:21-8:10

Here is a Jewish parenting lesson based on I Kings 7:21-8:10, designed for busy parents.

## Insight

The portion of I Kings detailing the construction of Solomon's Temple and its magnificent furnishings is not just a historical account of ancient grandeur; it's a profound allegory for how we, as parents, build and furnish the "temple" of our families. We are all, in our own way, Solomons, tasked with creating spaces of holiness, order, and meaning for our children. This week's parashah, with its intricate descriptions of skilled craftsmanship, divine presence, and the dedication of a sacred space, offers us a powerful lens through which to examine our own parenting. The sheer scale and meticulous detail of the Temple's construction—from the massive foundation stones to the delicate lily designs on the capitals—speak to the immense effort, intentionality, and collaboration required to build something lasting and significant. It reminds us that building a strong family isn't a passive endeavor; it requires conscious effort, the right tools, and a deep understanding of our purpose.

Consider the materials: cedar, bronze, gold, and "choice stones, hewn according to measure, smooth on all sides." These are not random elements; they represent the foundational values, the enduring principles, and the refined character we strive to instill in our children. The cedar, known for its durability and fragrance, might symbolize the strength and beauty of tradition, the wisdom passed down through generations. The bronze, forged with skill and resilience, could represent the practical skills, the character traits, and the ability to navigate the challenges of the world. Gold, precious and radiant, signifies the spiritual aspirations, the connection to something higher, the pursuit of justice and kindness. And the "choice stones, hewn according to measure, smooth on all sides" are our children themselves, each unique, requiring patient shaping, careful guidance, and a steady hand to reveal their inherent beauty and strength. Our role is to be the master builders, the skilled artisans, working with these precious materials to create a dwelling place for the Divine within our homes.

The text highlights the collaboration between Solomon and Hiram, the skilled craftsman from Tyre. This partnership is crucial. Solomon, the king, had the vision and the resources, but it was Hiram, with his expertise in metalwork and his team of skilled laborers, who brought the intricate details to life. This mirrors our parenting journey. We often have a grand vision for our children – their happiness, their success, their strong Jewish identity. But the practical execution, the day-to-day nurturing, the teaching of specific skills, often requires collaboration, whether it's with a spouse, grandparents, educators, or even our children themselves as they develop their own agency. We can't do it all alone, nor should we. Recognizing the value of different skills and perspectives enriches the building process. It's about recognizing that while we may be the architects of our family's values, we also need skilled craftspeople – teachers, mentors, and even our children's own burgeoning independence – to help shape and refine the structure.

The dedication of the Temple, as described in the latter part of the reading, is equally instructive. Solomon's prayer is not just a historical footnote; it's a blueprint for how we can dedicate our own efforts. He prays for God's presence to fill the House, for forgiveness, for guidance, and for the well-being of his people. This mirrors our prayers and hopes for our families. We yearn for a sense of holiness, for connection, for our children to grow in wisdom and character. We ask for strength to overcome our shortcomings and guidance to lead them well. The act of bringing the Ark into the Holy of Holies, the ultimate symbol of God's presence, signifies the culmination of the building process and the establishment of a sacred dwelling place. For us, this "Holy of Holies" is the innermost core of our family life, the space where our deepest values and connections reside.

However, the text also implicitly acknowledges the imperfections and challenges. Solomon's palace took thirteen years to build, a significant undertaking. The Temple itself was a massive project, requiring immense resources and dedicated labor. This reminds us that building a strong family is not always swift or easy. There will be delays, setbacks, and moments when the blueprints seem overwhelming. The bronze altar was too small to hold all the sacrifices, necessitating the consecration of the courtyard. This suggests that sometimes, our initial plans need to adapt, and we may need to find creative solutions when our existing structures can no longer contain the growth and the needs of our family. We don't always get it perfectly right the first time, and that's okay. The effort, the intention, and the willingness to adapt are what truly matter.

Furthermore, the detailed descriptions of the vessels – the lavers, the tank, the columns Jachin and Boaz – are not mere ornamentation. They represent the functional elements that enable worship and maintain order. The lavers for cleansing, the tank for purification, the columns symbolizing strength and stability. In our parenting, these translate to the daily routines, the rituals, the conversations that cleanse us of negativity, the practices that purify our intentions, and the pillars of stability we provide. The names Jachin (He will establish) and Boaz (In strength) on the temple columns are particularly meaningful. They speak to the dual nature of faith and family life: the establishment of our values and traditions, and the inherent strength that comes from living them. We aim to build a family that is both rooted and resilient, capable of weathering storms and enduring through generations.

The final verses, with the immense sacrifices and the extended feast, speak to the joy and communal celebration that accompanies the completion of a sacred endeavor. Dedicating our families to a life of meaning and purpose is a cause for celebration, not just for us, but for our children and our community. It's about creating moments of shared joy, of gratitude for the journey, and of anticipation for the future. The text emphasizes that the "weight of the bronze was not reckoned," suggesting that the true value lies not in the material quantity, but in the intention and the purpose behind the creation. Similarly, the true success of our parenting is measured not in the perfection of our efforts, but in the love, the connection, and the values we impart.

In essence, this portion of Kings invites us to view our parenting as a sacred construction project. We are tasked with building not just a household, but a sanctuary of love, learning, and belonging. It calls for vision, skill, collaboration, dedication, and a profound awareness of the Divine presence that can dwell within our homes. It reminds us that even amidst the daily chaos, the unfinished projects, and the inevitable imperfections, we are engaged in a holy work, shaping not just our children, but the very fabric of our future.

## Text Snapshot

"He made the two columns of bronze; one column was eighteen cubits high and measured twelve cubits in circumference, [and similarly] the other column. He made two capitals, cast in bronze, to be set upon the two columns, the height of each of the two capitals being five cubits; also nets of meshwork with festoons of chainwork for the capitals that were on the top of the columns, seven for each of the two capitals. He made the columns so that there were two rows [of pomegranates] encircling the top of the one network, to cover the capitals that were on the top of the pomegranates; and he did the same for [the network on] the second capital. The capitals upon the columns of the portico were of lily design, four cubits high; so also the capitals upon the two columns extended above and next to the bulge that was beside the network. There were two hundred pomegranates in rows around the top of the second capital. He set up the columns at the portico of the Great Hall; he set up one column on the right and named it Jachin, and he set up the other column on the left and named it Boaz. Upon the top of the columns there was a lily design. Thus the work of the columns was completed." (I Kings 7:15-22)

"When all the work that King Solomon had done in the House of God was completed, Solomon brought in the sacred donations of his father David—the silver, the gold, and the vessels—and deposited them in the treasury of the House of God. Then Solomon convoked the elders of Israel—all the heads of the tribes and the ancestral chieftains of the Israelites—before King Solomon in Jerusalem, to bring up the Ark of the Covenant of God from the City of David, that is, Zion." (I Kings 8:1-4)

"Then Solomon stood before the altar of God in the presence of the whole community of Israel; he spread the palms of his hands toward heaven, and said, 'O Eternal God of Israel, in the heavens above and on the earth below there is no god like You, who keep Your gracious covenant with Your servants when they walk before You in wholehearted devotion; You who have kept the promises You made to Your servant, my father David, fulfilling with deeds the promise You made—as is now the case.'" (I Kings 8:22-24)

## Activity

Building Our Family's "Temple" – Micro-Moments of Sacred Construction

This week, we're going to focus on the idea of building a sacred space within our homes, just as Solomon built the Temple. This isn't about grand architectural projects, but about creating small, intentional moments that imbue our family life with meaning, connection, and a sense of the Divine. Think of these as the "choice stones" and "cedar beams" of our family's structure.

### Toddler (Ages 2-4)

Activity: "My Special Corner" Creation

• Goal: To help toddlers understand the concept of a special, designated space that feels safe and comforting, and to begin associating it with positive feelings.
• Time: 5-10 minutes.
• Materials: A small blanket, a favorite stuffed animal or toy, a soft pillow, maybe a picture book.
• Instructions:
  1. Choose a small, quiet corner of a room.
  2. Explain to your toddler, "This is our special corner! It's a place where we can feel cozy and happy."
  3. Lay down the blanket. "This is our soft floor."
  4. Place the pillow. "This is for resting our heads."
  5. Put the stuffed animal or toy there. "This is [toy's name], your special friend for our corner."
  6. Invite your toddler to sit or lie down in the corner. Read a short, calming book together, sing a quiet song, or just snuggle.
  7. As you do this, you can say things like, "This is our special, happy place," or "We built this cozy spot just for us."
• Micro-Win Celebration: Acknowledge when your child chooses to go to their special corner on their own, even for a few minutes. "Look, you went to our special corner! That makes me so happy!"

### Elementary School (Ages 5-10)

Activity: "Family Values Stones"

• Goal: To identify and visually represent core family values in a tangible way.
• Time: 10 minutes.
• Materials: Smooth, flat stones (enough for each family member and a few extra), permanent markers in various colors.
• Instructions:
  1. Gather the family. Explain, "Just like King Solomon built the Temple with strong stones, we're going to build something special for our family too! We're going to make 'Family Values Stones'."
  2. Discuss what values are important to your family. Prompt them with questions like: "What makes our family feel good?" "What's important to us when we treat each other?" (Examples: kindness, honesty, helpfulness, respect, gratitude, patience, learning).
  3. Each family member chooses a stone and a marker.
  4. Have each person draw or write one value on their stone. For younger children, you can help them draw a symbol (e.g., a heart for love, a book for learning).
  5. Once everyone has their stone, place them together in a special bowl or on a shelf in a common area.
  6. Talk about how these stones represent the "building blocks" of your family. "When we live by these values, we make our family stronger and happier, like the Temple."
• Micro-Win Celebration: Point out instances where a family member embodies one of the values on the stones. "I saw you share your toy with your sister, that's being kind, just like on our 'kindness' stone!"

### Teenagers (Ages 11+)

Activity: "Our Family's 'Holy of Holies' Discussion"

• Goal: To engage teens in a deeper conversation about the core principles that make their family feel sacred and meaningful, and to foster their ownership of these values.
• Time: 10 minutes (can be extended if conversation flows).
• Materials: A comfortable setting for discussion.
• Instructions:
  1. Initiate a conversation by referencing the text: "This week's Torah portion talks about Solomon building the Temple, a place for God's presence. It also talks about the Ark of the Covenant, the most sacred item, being placed in the Holy of Holies. In our family, what do you think is our 'Holy of Holies' – the most sacred, meaningful core of our family life?"
  2. Allow for open-ended responses. This might be abstract or concrete. Examples could include:
     • "Our family dinners where we all connect."
     • "The way we support each other when someone's struggling."
     • "Our traditions, like celebrating Shabbat or holidays."
     • "Our commitment to helping others."
     • "The feeling of safety and belonging we have here."
  3. Guide the discussion to explore why these things are sacred. What makes them so important? What are the underlying values?
  4. Ask them: "How can we make sure this 'Holy of Holies' in our family is protected and nurtured? What are our responsibilities in keeping it strong?"
• Micro-Win Celebration: Acknowledge when a teen actively participates in the discussion, shares a thoughtful insight, or demonstrates an understanding of the concept by applying it to a family situation. "Thanks for sharing that insight about our family dinners – you really helped me think about why they're so important."

## Script

This week's parashah is rich with imagery of building and dedication. For parents, it's a powerful metaphor for constructing a meaningful family life. But what happens when our kids ask about the more complex or abstract aspects of this? Here are some scripts for navigating those tricky questions, keeping it real and relatable.

### Script 1: "Why did it take so long to build the Temple?" (For younger children, focusing on patience and effort)

Child: "Mom/Dad, the Bible says it took Solomon thirteen years to build his palace! That's like, forever! Why did it take so long?"

Parent: "That's a great question! Building something really big and important, like a beautiful house for God, takes a lot of time and effort. Think about building a really awesome Lego castle – you can't just snap it together in five minutes, right? You have to find all the pieces, connect them carefully, and make sure it's strong. Solomon and all the workers had to do that with giant stones and wood. It shows that when we want to build something truly special and lasting, it takes patience and hard work. It's like how we're building our family's traditions – it takes time to make them really special."

### Script 2: "What do Jachin and Boaz mean?" (For elementary/middle school, connecting to family strength)

Child: "The Bible talks about two columns named Jachin and Boaz. What does that even mean?"

Parent: "That's a really interesting part! Jachin and Boaz were names given to those big columns outside the Temple. The wise teachers tell us they represent two important ideas for building anything strong, including our family. Jachin sounds a bit like 'to establish' – so it's about setting things up, building a foundation, making sure things are in place. Boaz sounds a bit like 'strength' or 'power'. So, together, they mean something like 'He will establish in strength.' For our family, it's like we need to establish our good habits and traditions, and we do it with strength – the strength of our love, our support for each other, and our commitment to our values. We're always establishing our family in strength!"

### Script 3: "Why did Solomon build so much stuff for God?" (For older children/teens, exploring the purpose of rituals and possessions)

Child: "Solomon made all these amazing, elaborate things for the Temple – gold tables, lampstands, a giant bronze tank. If God is everywhere, why did he need all this stuff? It seems like a lot of work and money."

Parent: "That's a really thoughtful question, and it gets to the heart of how we connect with something bigger than ourselves. You're right, God is infinite and not confined by any building. But the Temple wasn't just for God; it was also for the people. These beautiful, detailed objects served important purposes. Think about it like this: a wedding ring isn't strictly necessary for two people to love each other, but it's a tangible symbol that represents their commitment and helps them remember it every day. The Temple's furnishings were like that for the Israelites. The lampstands lit the way for prayer and study. The basins were for cleansing, a physical act that symbolized spiritual purification. The Ark itself was the ultimate symbol of God's presence and covenant. These objects helped people focus their intentions, engage in meaningful rituals, and feel a palpable connection to the Divine and to their community. It’s about creating spaces and practices that help us remember and embody our values and our connection to God."

### Script 4: "What if we can't build a perfect family like Solomon's Temple?" (For any age, addressing perfectionism and embracing "good enough")

Child (or Parent's internal thought): "Our family feels so messy sometimes. We don't have perfect routines, and we argue. It's nothing like Solomon's beautiful Temple."

Parent: "You know, I think Solomon's Temple was a truly magnificent achievement, and it's inspiring to read about. But even in the Bible, we see that the altar was too small for all the sacrifices! It shows that even in the most sacred endeavors, things aren't always perfectly planned or executed. Our families are living, breathing things, not static buildings. The beauty of our family isn't in its perfection, but in its resilience, its love, and our willingness to keep trying, even when it's messy. We learn, we grow, and we show up for each other. That's what makes a family truly strong and meaningful. We're building a 'good enough' family, and that's wonderful."

## Habit

The "Sacred Space Check-In" Micro-Habit

This week, we're going to cultivate a tiny habit that connects to the idea of creating a sacred space within our homes and within ourselves. It’s called the "Sacred Space Check-In."

The Habit: Once a day, for one minute, pause and consciously create a small, intentional moment of connection or calm.

How to do it:

• Choose Your Time: Pick a consistent time each day. It could be first thing in the morning before the chaos erupts, during a quiet moment after dinner, or right before bed. Even 60 seconds can make a difference.
• Choose Your "Sacred Space": This doesn't need to be a physical location. It can be a mental space, a feeling, or a brief interaction.
• The Action (Choose ONE per day):
  • Gratitude Blink: Close your eyes for 30 seconds and think of one thing you are truly grateful for in that moment. Then, open your eyes and take a deep breath.
  • Kindness Nod: If you see your child, spouse, or even a pet, pause for a moment, make eye contact, and offer a genuine, silent nod of acknowledgement and affection. Think, "I see you, and I appreciate you."
  • Breath Sanctuary: Take three slow, deep breaths, focusing solely on the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body. Imagine each exhale releasing a little bit of stress.
  • Value Whisper: Silently repeat one of your family's core values (e.g., "kindness," "patience," "connection") to yourself, imbuing it with intention for the next few minutes.
  • Mindful Sip: If you're having a drink (water, tea), take one sip slowly, noticing the temperature, taste, and sensation.

Why this is a micro-habit:

• Time-Bound: It's strictly one minute. No excuses!
• Low Effort: Requires minimal physical or mental energy.
• Intentional: Even though it's short, it’s a deliberate act of mindfulness and connection.
• Builds Momentum: Like laying a single brick, it starts the process of building something larger.
• Connects to the Text: It's about finding moments of holiness and intention in the everyday, just as the Temple was a physical manifestation of that.

Micro-Win Celebration: At the end of the week, reflect on whether you managed to do your one-minute check-in at least three times. If you did, give yourself a pat on the back! You've successfully begun building a small sanctuary of intention in your busy life.

## Takeaway

This week's Torah portion, with its intricate details of the Temple's construction, reminds us that building a meaningful family life is an ongoing, intentional process. Just as Solomon and Hiram meticulously crafted every element of the Temple, we are called to be mindful builders of our own family's spiritual and emotional sanctuary. Embrace the "good enough" approach, celebrate the micro-wins of connection and intention, and remember that even in the midst of life's beautiful chaos, we are engaged in a holy endeavor. May your family's "temple" be filled with love, understanding, and the enduring presence of the Divine.