I Samuel 10:24-12:21

Shalom, dear parents! Let's dive into a powerful story from I Samuel that speaks volumes about leadership, identity, and how we respond to change. This week, we're focusing on a 5-minute chunk of Jewish parenting wisdom.

Insight

This week's portion from I Samuel, specifically chapters 10 through 12, presents us with a pivotal moment in Jewish history: the transition from a judge-led nation to a monarchy, with the anointing of Saul as the first king. For us as parents, this narrative offers a rich tapestry of insights into how we navigate change, manage expectations, and support our children as they grow into their own identities.

Think about Saul. He’s introduced as someone a bit lost, literally searching for his father’s donkeys. He’s not the obvious hero, and when Samuel anoints him, the signs are subtle and personal at first. He’s told about meeting people, receiving bread, and encountering prophets. These aren't grand pronouncements of power, but rather gentle nudges towards a new path. This mirrors our parenting journey, doesn't it? Often, our children aren't born with a clear roadmap of their future talents or destinies. They are on their own journeys, sometimes searching for their "donkeys," and we, as parents, are called to be the supportive presence, offering guidance and recognizing the subtle signs of their burgeoning potential.

When Saul is chosen as king, there's immediate division. Some people acclaim him, shouting “Long live the king!” (I Samuel 10:24). But others, described as "scoundrels," scorn him, asking, "How can this fellow save us?" (I Samuel 10:27). This highlights a crucial parenting dynamic: how we handle doubt, criticism, and the inevitable moments when our children don't meet everyone's expectations. Do we defend them fiercely, or do we trust the process and their inherent worth? The text reminds us that Saul "pretended not to mind" (I Samuel 10:27), a remarkable display of inner resilience. As parents, we can learn from this. While we want to protect our children, we also need to foster their ability to navigate criticism and find their own strength, even when others doubt them.

The narrative further emphasizes the consequences of rejecting God's leadership for human leadership. Samuel’s powerful address in chapter 12 is a masterclass in accountability and legacy. He reminds the people of all God’s past kindnesses and warns them about the dangers of straying. This is a profound lesson for us: our parenting is a legacy. We are not just raising children for today; we are shaping individuals who will carry forward our values, our faith, and our understanding of what it means to be part of a community. Samuel’s plea to "revere GOD and serve faithfully with all your heart" (I Samuel 12:24) is a timeless call to live a life of purpose and integrity.

Moreover, the story of Saul's transformation is compelling. The spirit of God grips him, making him a "different person" (I Samuel 10:6). This transformation isn't instantaneous or solely about external validation. It's about an internal shift, a divine empowerment that allows him to rise to the occasion. As parents, we witness these "different person" moments in our children – when they overcome a fear, solve a problem independently, or show unexpected kindness. These are the micro-wins, the sparks of their developing selves, and it's our role to fan those flames.

Finally, Samuel’s ultimate message to the people is one of hope and continued guidance. Even after they’ve made a choice that displeases God (asking for a king), Samuel doesn't abandon them. He says, "Have no fear. You have, indeed, done all those wicked things. Do not, however, turn away from GOD, but serve GOD with all your heart" (I Samuel 12:20-21). This is the essence of empathetic parenting: acknowledging mistakes, offering forgiveness, and redirecting towards positive action. We, too, can bless the chaos of parenting, celebrate "good-enough" tries, and always, always, hold out hope and a guiding hand. This story, though ancient, speaks to the very core of our parenting journey.

Text Snapshot

"And Samuel took a flask of oil and poured some on Saul’s head and kissed him, and said, “GOD herewith anoints you ruler over this people—God’s own. When you leave me today, you will meet two men near the tomb of Rachel in the territory of Benjamin, at Zelzah, and they will tell you that the donkeys you set out to look for have been found, and that your father has stopped being concerned about the donkeys and is worrying about you, saying: ‘What shall I do about my son?’" (I Samuel 10:1-2)

"But some scoundrels said, “How can this fellow save us?” So they scorned him and brought him no gift. But he pretended not to mind." (I Samuel 10:27)

"Samuel said to the people, 'Have no fear. You have, indeed, done all those wicked things. Do not, however, turn away from GOD, but serve GOD with all your heart.'" (I Samuel 12:20)

Activity

"Signs of the Chosen" Shadow Puppet Show (≤ 10 minutes)

This activity is designed to help children understand that potential and leadership can manifest in unexpected ways, and that even seemingly small events can be significant. It also touches on the idea of internal strength versus external perception.

What you'll need:

• A light source (flashlight, lamp, or even a bright window)
• A blank wall or a sheet hung up to create a screen
• Your hands! (Or cut-out shapes of characters if you're feeling ambitious, but hands are perfect for this age group).

Instructions:

1. Set the Scene (1 minute): Gather your child(ren) in front of the light source and the screen. Dim the room lights to make the shadows more prominent. Explain that you're going to tell a story using shadows, like a little play.
2. Introduce Saul (2 minutes):
   • Make two hands meet, representing Samuel anointing Saul. Say, "This is Samuel, and he's pouring oil on Saul, making him special for a big job!"
   • Then, make your hands move around as if searching. Say, "But Saul was just looking for his dad's donkeys. He didn't even know he was going to be king!"
   • Next, make two finger puppets (thumb and pointer finger) meet and talk, representing the men Saul meets. Say, "Then he met some people who told him the donkeys were found, and that his dad was worried about him!"
3. The Prophets and the Change (3 minutes):
   • Make a group of wiggling fingers, representing the prophets dancing and speaking in ecstasy. Say, "Then Saul saw a group of prophets, singing and dancing! The special spirit of God came over Saul, and he started dancing and singing too!"
   • Make one hand gesture wildly, then bring it together with the wiggling fingers. Say, "He became a different person, filled with God's spirit!"
4. The Doubters (2 minutes):
   • Make two hands clap enthusiastically. Say, "Some people were so happy and cheered, 'Hooray for the king!'"
   • Then, make one hand appear grumpy and shake its head, while another hand shrugs dismissively. Say, "But some people weren't so sure. They whispered, 'How can this guy be king? He's not special!'"
   • Make the "grumpy" hand just stand there, unbothered. Say, "But Saul didn't let it bother him. He just kept going."
5. The Takeaway (2 minutes):
   • Bring your hands together in a gesture of unity or support. Say, "Sometimes, people don't see how special you are right away. And sometimes, you don't even see it yourself! But God sees it, and you can do amazing things, just like Saul, even when you start out looking for donkeys. And even when some people doubt you, you can be strong and do good."

Why this works:

• Visual and Engaging: Shadow puppets are inherently fun for children.
• Concrete Metaphors: Donkeys, prophets, cheering, and scowling are easy for kids to grasp.
• Focus on Internal Qualities: It emphasizes that Saul's transformation was internal ("a different person") and divinely inspired, not just about outward appearance.
• Addresses Doubt: It introduces the concept of criticism in a gentle way, showing Saul's quiet resilience.
• Short and Sweet: Fits within the 10-minute timeframe, perfect for busy schedules.

This activity helps translate the abstract concepts of leadership, inner change, and dealing with criticism into a tangible, playful experience for young minds.

Script

(Parent speaking gently to a child who is upset because a friend or sibling said something unkind about them or their abilities)

Parent: "Hey, sweetie. I heard what [friend/sibling] said earlier, and it sounded like it really hurt your feelings. It’s tough when people say things that make you feel small, isn't it?"

(Pause, allow child to respond or nod)

Parent: "You know, in our Torah story this week, when Saul was chosen to be king, not everyone was happy about it. Some people looked at him and whispered, 'How can he be king? He’s not special!' (I Samuel 10:27). They doubted him, even though God had chosen him."

(Pause, make eye contact)

Parent: "But you know what? Saul didn't argue with them. The Torah says he 'pretended not to mind.' He had this inner strength because God was with him. And later, he proved them wrong by being a brave leader."

(Gentle, reassuring tone)

Parent: "It's okay to feel sad or angry when people are unkind. Your feelings are real. But remember that what other people say about you isn't always the whole story. God sees your true worth, and I see it too. You are special, just as you are, and you have so many wonderful qualities that make you, you. We’ll work on being strong like Saul, knowing your own value, even when it’s hard."

Why this works:

• Empathy First: Starts by validating the child's feelings.
• Relatable Analogy: Connects the child's experience to Saul's.
• Direct Text Reference: Uses a specific, relevant detail from the portion (the scoundrels and Saul's reaction).
• Focus on Inner Strength: Highlights Saul's resilience and God's support as the source of strength.
• Positive Reinforcement: Reassures the child of their inherent worth.
• Actionable (but gentle): Suggests working on internal strength, rather than telling the child to ignore their feelings.
• Time-Bound: Can be delivered in about 30 seconds.

Habit

"The 'Donkey' Check-In" Micro-Habit (1 minute daily)

Goal: To practice noticing and acknowledging potential, even when it’s not obvious or when facing challenges.

How to do it:

Each day, at a specific, easy-to-remember time (e.g., during breakfast, before bed, or during your commute), ask yourself and/or your child (depending on age):

• For yourself: "What 'donkey' am I or someone in our family looking for today? What's a small, unexpected positive thing that happened or could happen?"
• For your child: "Did you find any 'donkeys' today? Or did you discover something new about yourself, even if it wasn't what you were looking for?"

Why this works:

• Time-Bound: Takes literally 60 seconds.
• Focuses on Micro-Wins: Encourages noticing small positives and the process of searching.
• Connects to the Text: Uses the metaphor of Saul looking for donkeys as a starting point for recognizing potential.
• Low Pressure: No need for grand discoveries; it's about the act of looking and noticing.
• Builds Awareness: Helps shift focus from problems to possibilities.
• No Guilt: Celebrates the effort of looking, regardless of the outcome.

This habit helps us and our children to be more attuned to the subtle signs of growth and potential, much like Samuel recognized Saul's inherent worth beyond his initial task of finding lost animals.

Takeaway

This week, we've seen how the story of Saul's anointing and leadership transition offers us a powerful lens for our own parenting. We're called to be like Samuel – recognizing the potential in our children, even when they're just "looking for donkeys." We're also reminded that not everyone will see our children's gifts immediately, and that's okay. Our role is to foster their inner strength, to help them be like Saul who "pretended not to mind" the scoundrels, and instead, focused on the "different person" God was shaping them to be. And when we or our children stumble, like the people who asked for a king, we learn from Samuel's empathetic message: "Do not, however, turn away from GOD, but serve GOD with all your heart." Let's bless the chaos, celebrate the micro-wins, and trust in the journey of becoming.