I Samuel 9:2-10:23

Here is your 15-minute Jewish Parenting lesson, focusing on the story of Saul's anointing from I Samuel 9:2-10:23, designed for busy parents.

Insight

The story of Saul’s anointing is a profound exploration of divine calling, human perception, and the often-unseen journey from ordinary to extraordinary. As parents, we are constantly navigating the "lost donkeys" of our children's lives – those everyday challenges, forgotten tasks, and moments of uncertainty that send us on unexpected quests. Just as Saul was sent to find his father's lost donkeys, we often find ourselves searching for answers, for solutions, for a sense of direction for our children. What’s remarkable about this narrative is that the divine plan is already in motion, even before Saul or his father understands it. God sees beyond the immediate problem of the donkeys to the grander purpose of leadership and deliverance. This teaches us a crucial parenting lesson: our children’s everyday struggles, their moments of confusion or even rebellion, are not just obstacles; they can be fertile ground for growth and for the unfolding of their unique destinies. We are called to see beyond the immediate "lost donkeys" and trust that there is a larger, benevolent plan at play.

Furthermore, the text highlights the contrast between outward appearance and inner substance, and how both can be instruments of divine purpose. Saul is described as exceptionally handsome and tall, a physical presence that commands attention. Yet, his true worth is revealed not just in his stature, but in his innate goodness and his humble response to Samuel's prophetic pronouncements. This is a powerful reminder for us as parents. We might focus on our children's achievements, their good grades, their athletic prowess, or their social popularity, seeing these as indicators of their future success. While these are certainly valuable, the biblical narrative urges us to look deeper. It prompts us to cultivate and recognize the quiet virtues: kindness, integrity, resilience, empathy, and a willingness to learn and grow. Saul’s initial reluctance and his feeling of inadequacy ("But I am only a Benjaminite, from the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my clan is the least of all the clans of the tribe of Benjamin!") are relatable. Many of us, and our children, grapple with feelings of not being "enough," of being too small, too ordinary, or too flawed for the tasks ahead. This story assures us that God can and does choose the seemingly unlikely, the humble, the uncertain. Our role as parents is to nurture that inner spark, to remind our children of their inherent worth, and to help them see the potential that God has placed within them, even when they can't see it themselves.

The journey of Saul also illustrates the concept of divine intervention and transformation. God's spirit grips Saul, and he "becomes a different person." This isn't about a superficial change; it's a deep, internal shift that equips him for the role he is meant to fulfill. For us as parents, this speaks to the power of faith and the belief in our children's capacity for change and growth. We might feel frustrated by certain behaviors or attitudes, wishing for a quick fix. However, true transformation often comes through a process, guided by divine help and our consistent, loving support. It’s about creating an environment where our children feel safe to explore, to make mistakes, and to be vulnerable, knowing that they are loved unconditionally. The story doesn't portray Saul as instantly perfect; he struggles with his new identity and faces opposition. This realism is crucial. Parenting is not about raising perfect children, but about raising children who are becoming their best selves, with all the messiness and grace that entails. We are invited to trust in the process, to have faith in our children's potential for transformation, and to be partners with God in their ongoing development.

The narrative also subtly touches upon the importance of community and lineage. Saul comes from a "man of substance" and a prominent clan, yet his true calling transcends his immediate social standing. Similarly, we are part of generations, both our ancestral heritage and the family we are building. Our children inherit not only our genes but also our values, our stories, and our faith. This story encourages us to reflect on the legacy we are passing down. Are we instilling the values that will help our children navigate their own "lost donkeys" and discover their unique purposes? Are we creating a home environment where spiritual growth and a connection to something larger than ourselves are nurtured? The "upstanding men whose hearts God had touched" who accompany Saul at the end of the chapter are a testament to the idea that divine calling often attracts and is supported by a community of like-minded individuals. As parents, we are not alone in this journey. We are part of a larger community of faith, and we can draw strength and support from each other. We can also strive to raise children who will, in turn, become "upstanding men and women," positively impacting their communities.

Finally, the story of Saul's anointing is a powerful reminder that God’s plans often unfold in unexpected ways, through seemingly ordinary circumstances. The lost donkeys become the catalyst for a divine revelation and a national destiny. For parents, this means embracing the unexpected, the detours, and the moments of confusion as potential doorways to something greater. It means cultivating an attitude of openness and trust, even when the path ahead is unclear. It's about recognizing that our children’s lives are not just a series of events to be managed, but a sacred unfolding, guided by a loving hand. We are called to be present, to listen, to observe, and to trust that even in the midst of our daily routines, God is working to shape our children into the individuals they are meant to be. Let us bless the chaos, celebrate the micro-wins, and trust in the divine narrative that is constantly being written in our families.

Text Snapshot

"Now the day before Saul came, God had revealed the following to Samuel: 'At this time tomorrow, I will send a man to you from the territory of Benjamin, and you shall anoint him ruler of My people Israel. He will deliver My people from the hands of the Philistines; for I have taken note of My people, their outcry has come to Me.'" — I Samuel 9:15-16

"As soon as Samuel saw Saul, God declared to him, 'This is the man that I told you would govern My people.'" — I Samuel 9:17

"Then Samuel brought forward the tribe of Benjamin by its clans, and the clan of the Matrites was indicated; and then Saul son of Kish was indicated. But when they looked for him, he was not to be found. They inquired of God again, 'Has anyone else come here?' And God replied, 'Yes; he is hiding among the baggage.'" — I Samuel 10:21-22

Activity

The "Lost & Found" Gratitude Jar

Objective: To help children (and parents!) practice gratitude by focusing on what has been found or resolved, mirroring the story of Saul finding his lost donkeys and discovering his destiny. This activity encourages a shift in perspective from what’s missing to what’s present and appreciated.

Time: 10 minutes

Materials:

• A clean, empty jar or container (a repurposed pickle jar, a cookie tin, or a decorative vase will do).
• Scraps of paper (can be torn from regular printer paper, construction paper, or even recycled paper).
• Pens or markers.
• Optional: Stickers or decorative elements for the jar.

Instructions for Parents:

1. Introduce the concept: Gather your child(ren) around. Explain that in the Torah story we just read about, Saul was looking for his father’s lost donkeys. It felt like a problem, right? But guess what? The donkeys were found! And something even bigger happened – Saul discovered he was meant to be a leader! This is a great reminder that sometimes, when we are looking for something that’s lost, we can also find wonderful, unexpected things.

2. Set up the "Lost & Found" Gratitude Jar:

   • Decorate the jar together if you like! Let the kids add stickers or draw on it. This makes it their special jar.
   • Explain that this jar is for "found things" and "good things that happened." It's like a gratitude jar, but with a special focus on things that might have felt lost or uncertain at first, but then turned out okay or even great.

3. Brainstorm and Write (Parent-Led with Child Input):

   • Prompt 1: The "Lost Donkeys" Moment: Ask your child(ren) to think about something recently that felt a little lost, difficult, or frustrating. It could be:
     • A toy they couldn't find.
     • A homework assignment they couldn't finish.
     • A disagreement with a sibling.
     • A feeling of being unsure about something.
     • A time they were worried about something.
   • Once they share, ask: "And what happened with that? Was it found? Did it get resolved? Did you figure it out?"
   • Have them write down the "found" or "resolved" part on a small piece of paper. For example: "Found my favorite blue crayon," "Finished my math homework," "My sister and I made up," "I felt better after talking about it."
   • Prompt 2: The "Saul's Destiny" Moment: Now, prompt them to think about something good that happened today, or this week, that they are thankful for. This can be simple!
     • "Someone was kind to me."
     • "I learned something new."
     • "We had a yummy snack."
     • "I got to play with my friend."
     • "Mom/Dad helped me with something."
     • "I felt proud of myself for trying hard."
   • Have them write these down on separate pieces of paper.

4. Fold and Fill: Have the children fold their papers and place them into the "Lost & Found" Gratitude Jar.

5. Review and Reflect (The 10-Minute Mark):

   • Once the jar has a few slips of paper, take one or two out together.
   • Read them aloud.
   • For the "found" slips, you can say something like, "Remember when we were looking for that [item]? It felt lost for a bit, but then we found it! And look, something good came from it – now we can [do the activity that required the item]."
   • For the "good things" slips, reinforce the gratitude: "Yes, it's so nice that [child's name] was kind to you! Let's remember to be kind back."
   • You can do this for a few minutes. The goal isn't to empty the jar, but to have a few moments of shared reflection and appreciation.

Why this works for busy parents:

• Time-boxed: The activity is designed to be completed within 10 minutes, from setup to reflection.
• Low-prep: Uses everyday materials.
• Adaptable: Can be done with very young children (you write for them) or older children (they write themselves).
• Focuses on micro-wins: Encourages noticing small victories and positive outcomes, aligning with the "bless the chaos" philosophy.
• Connects to the text: Directly ties into the narrative of lost items being found and greater purposes being revealed.
• Builds positive habits: Encourages a mindset of gratitude and resilience.

Parental Empathy/Encouragement: "It's so easy to get stuck on what's missing or what's going wrong, isn't it? Just like Saul’s dad was worried about the donkeys. But the Torah teaches us to also look for what's been found, what's been resolved, and the good things that pop up, even when we weren't expecting them. This jar is our little reminder to notice those blessings, big and small. You're doing a great job noticing these things!"

Script

Scenario: Your child asks a challenging, existential, or seemingly "unanswerable" question during a hectic moment (e.g., while you're trying to make dinner, get them ready for bed, or on the way to an appointment).

Parenting Coach Voice: (Kind, calm, acknowledging the difficulty)

(30-Second Script)

Child: "Mom/Dad, why does [something sad/confusing] happen? Like, why do people get sick? Or why did [a pet] die? Or why can't I have [something they really want that's impossible]?"

Parent: (Take a breath, make eye contact if possible, even if briefly) "Oh, sweetheart, that's such a big question! And you know what? Even grown-ups and wise people wrestle with those kinds of questions. It's okay not to have all the answers right away. The Torah story we read about Saul, remember? He was looking for donkeys, something very concrete, and then he found out he was going to be a king! Life is full of unexpected things, and sometimes the answers to our biggest questions unfold over time, or are revealed in ways we don't expect. For now, let's focus on [acknowledge the immediate need or offer a small comfort]. We can think more about that big question later, maybe when we have a quiet moment together, and we can explore it together, okay? You're so good at asking important questions."

Explanation for Parents: The goal here isn't to provide a perfect, exhaustive answer, but to validate the child's question, acknowledge its complexity, and create space for future discussion without derailing the immediate task or overwhelming the child (or yourself).

• Validation: "Oh, sweetheart, that's such a big question!" - This immediately tells the child their question is important and heard.
• Relatability & Humility: "And you know what? Even grown-ups and wise people wrestle with those kinds of questions. It's okay not to have all the answers right away." - This removes pressure from the parent to be an all-knowing oracle and normalizes not having immediate answers. It also subtly connects to the idea that even wise figures (like Samuel) have moments of revelation, not instant omniscience.
• Text Connection: "The Torah story we read about Saul, remember? He was looking for donkeys, something very concrete, and then he found out he was going to be a king! Life is full of unexpected things, and sometimes the answers to our biggest questions unfold over time, or are revealed in ways we don't expect." - This subtly links the child's feeling of uncertainty or complexity to the story's theme of unexpected revelations and divine timing. It provides a narrative anchor.
• Deferral and Promise: "For now, let's focus on [acknowledge the immediate need or offer a small comfort]. We can think more about that big question later, maybe when we have a quiet moment together, and we can explore it together, okay?" - This is crucial for practical parenting. It addresses the immediate context and promises a dedicated time for further discussion, reinforcing your commitment to their questions.
• Positive Reinforcement: "You're so good at asking important questions." - Ends on a positive, encouraging note, celebrating their curiosity.

Why this works for busy parents:

• Time-efficient: Delivers a thoughtful response in under 30 seconds.
• Guilt-free: Provides a way to acknowledge difficult questions without needing immediate, perfect answers.
• Empathetic: Shows the child their feelings and questions are valued.
• Builds connection: Promises future discussion, strengthening the parent-child bond.
• Integrates text: Uses the story as a relatable metaphor for life's complexities.

Habit

The "One-Sentence Story" Check-in

Objective: To foster a brief, meaningful connection at the end of the day, encouraging reflection and identifying micro-wins, inspired by the narrative's themes of discovery and transformation.

Time: ≤ 1 minute per person

Instructions: Once a day, ideally during a transition time (e.g., before dinner, during bath time, at bedtime), ask each person in the family (including yourself!) to share one sentence that summarizes their day, or a small highlight or lesson learned from their day. It could be:

• "Today, I learned that even when I feel frustrated, I can still finish my work." (Echoes Saul's perseverance)
• "I helped my friend today, and that felt good." (Echoes the concept of good deeds and community)
• "I was worried about the test, but it wasn't as hard as I thought." (Echoes overcoming anxiety, like Saul's initial doubts)
• "I found my missing sock!" (A simple "lost and found" moment)
• "I discovered that playing with my brother can be really fun." (A moment of unexpected positive discovery)

The key is that it’s one sentence. This keeps it concise, manageable, and focused. If someone struggles, offer a prompt like, "What was one thing that happened today that made you smile, even a little bit?" or "What's one thing you did that you felt good about?" If a child is too young to articulate, you can share your one-sentence story about them, or about something you observed them doing that was positive.

Why this habit is good for busy parents:

• Micro-Habit: Takes less than a minute per person, easily fitting into any routine.
• No Guilt: It's a simple sharing, not an in-depth interrogation.
• Focuses on the Positive: Encourages noticing small victories and moments of connection, aligning with "bless the chaos" and "micro-wins."
• Builds Connection: Creates a daily ritual of shared experience and validation.
• Develops Reflection Skills: Helps children (and adults) practice articulating their experiences and identifying what's important.
• Textual Resonance: Connects to the narrative's themes of discovery, overcoming challenges, and finding meaning in everyday events.

Parental Empathy/Encouragement: "This little 'one-sentence story' is our way of noticing the little sparks of light in our day. Sometimes it’s about finding something lost, sometimes it’s about discovering something new about ourselves or each other. It’s not about having a perfect day, but about acknowledging the good that was there, no matter how small. You’re all doing such wonderful things, and I want us to remember them."

Takeaway

The story of Saul's anointing, from the lost donkeys to the unexpected kingship, reminds us that our children's journeys are divinely guided, often in ways we don't immediately understand. Our role isn't to orchestrate every step, but to nurture their innate goodness, trust in their capacity for growth, and celebrate the "found" moments alongside the "lost" ones. Embrace the ordinary circumstances, for they often hold the seeds of extraordinary purpose. You are doing holy work, one micro-win at a time.