Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 1:13

Hook

Ah, the age-old debate: are you a good person or a bad person? It’s a binary that feels as old as time, often presented in stark, unforgiving terms. If you've ever felt like you’re always falling short, or conversely, like you're being too hard on yourself, this might resonate: "You're supposed to see yourself as wicked." Sounds harsh, right? Especially when another well-meaning teaching tells you, "And don't be wicked in your own estimation." We’re going to untangle this seeming contradiction from the Tanya and discover a far more nuanced and empowering way to understand ourselves, one that doesn't leave you feeling perpetually judged or hopelessly flawed. Let’s ditch the black-and-white thinking and explore the vibrant spectrum of who we are.

Context

You might have encountered the idea that Judaism has very specific categories for people, almost like report cards. This can feel rigid and intimidating, especially if you’re just dipping your toes back in. Let’s break down a common misconception around these "categories" and the rules that seem to govern them.

The Myth of the Perfect Score

• Misconception: You're either a "righteous person" (a tzaddik) or a "wicked person" (rasha), with very little room in between. This often leads to the feeling that if you’ve ever messed up, you’ve forfeited your chance at being considered "good."
• The Reality: The Tanya, drawing from deep Jewish tradition, introduces a third, crucial category: the benoni, or the intermediate person. This isn't about being mediocre or half-hearted. It's about a profound understanding of the human condition and the internal battles we all face. Think of it less as a failing grade and more as a true reflection of where most of us live.
• It’s Not About Perfection, It’s About Process: The "rules" aren't about achieving a flawless record. They’re about understanding the dynamics of your inner world. The Tanya acknowledges that we all have inclinations that pull us in different directions. The goal isn't to eradicate one part of yourself but to learn how to navigate the interplay between them.

Text Snapshot

"It has been taught: An oath is administered to him [before birth, warning him]: “Be righteous and be not wicked; and even if the whole world tells you that you are righteous, in your own eyes regard yourself as if you were wicked.” This requires to be understood, for it contradicts the Mishnaic dictum: “And be not wicked in your own estimation.” Furthermore, if a man considers himself to be wicked he will be grieved at heart and depressed, and he will not be able to serve G–d joyfully and with a contented heart..."

New Angle

This passage from the Tanya is a masterclass in self-awareness, and frankly, it’s a revelation for adults who’ve likely spent years grappling with self-judgment. The core insight here isn't about labels, but about the internal landscape and how we manage it. The apparent contradiction between the two teachings—"regard yourself as if you were wicked" versus "do not be wicked in your own estimation"—isn’t a clerical error; it’s a sophisticated teaching about the duality of our souls and the nuanced path to spiritual growth.

Insight 1: The "Two Souls" Framework – Your Inner Team Meeting

The Tanya introduces a profound concept: we each possess not one, but two souls. This isn't some mystical New Age idea; it's a deeply rooted Jewish concept that reframes our internal struggles. One soul, originating from the divine spark within us, is inherently good and yearns for connection and holiness. The other, stemming from what the Tanya calls kelipat nogah (the husks of light, containing both good and potentially negative elements), is the source of our primal instincts, our desires, and our ego.

This is where the "regard yourself as wicked" instruction comes into play. It’s not about wallowing in guilt. It’s a strategic directive for the divine soul to remain acutely aware of the potential for negative inclinations to arise from the other soul. Imagine it as a high-stakes team meeting within yourself. The "wicked soul" part is always present, whispering temptations, fueling insecurities, or driving selfish desires. The instruction to "regard yourself as if you were wicked" is the divine soul's internal alert system, a constant vigilance. It means recognizing that even when you're doing good, the potential for a less-than-ideal impulse is there, lurking. This awareness keeps you humble and prevents spiritual complacency. It’s like knowing that even a seasoned athlete needs to stay in shape; you can’t just assume you’re automatically good forever. This practice fosters continuous effort and prevents the ego from declaring victory prematurely.

This matters because: In adulthood, we often feel like we’ve “arrived” or settled into a fixed personality. We might be high-achieving professionals, devoted parents, or pillars of our community. Yet, the subtle whispers of doubt, resentment, or selfish ambition can still surface. This "two souls" concept explains why. It’s not a character flaw; it’s a fundamental aspect of our spiritual architecture. Recognizing this allows us to approach our internal challenges with less self-recrimination and more strategic self-management. Instead of beating yourself up for feeling a pang of jealousy at a colleague’s promotion, you can acknowledge, "Ah, that's the kelipat nogah nudging. How can my divine soul respond constructively?" This reframes internal conflict from a sign of failure to an opportunity for conscious engagement.

Insight 2: The Benoni is the Art of Conscious Navigation, Not Absence of Struggle

The benoni (intermediate person) is the hero of this narrative. The Tanya clarifies that being a benoni is not about having a 50/50 split of good and bad deeds. That’s a superficial understanding. Instead, the benoni is someone who, while still having both souls at play, actively chooses to align with their divine soul. Rabbah, a sage so great he could seemingly overpower the Angel of Death through Torah study, declared himself a benoni. This is mind-boggling unless we understand that even at the highest levels, the internal struggle is real, and the choice to act from the divine soul is the defining characteristic.

The instruction "do not be wicked in your own estimation" is the counterbalance to the first one. Once you’ve used the "regard yourself as wicked" as a tool for vigilance, you don’t then descend into despair. This part of the teaching is about self-compassion and forward momentum. It means that after you’ve recognized the potential for the lower soul’s influence and consciously steered yourself towards good, you don’t then dwell on the fleeting negative impulse. You acknowledge that you did choose the good, and that is the essence of your true self. It’s about building confidence in your capacity to choose well, even when the internal whispers of doubt persist.

This matters because: In our adult lives, we’re constantly making choices that impact our careers, families, and sense of self. We experience setbacks, make mistakes, and face complex ethical dilemmas. The benoni model offers a powerful framework for navigating these realities without falling into the trap of perfectionism or self-loathing. It teaches us that spiritual progress isn't about never stumbling, but about consistently choosing to rise. When you’re juggling work deadlines, family obligations, and personal aspirations, and you manage to respond with patience instead of frustration, or offer help instead of succumbing to self-interest, you are embodying the benoni. You haven't eradicated anger or selfishness entirely, but you have actively chosen your divine soul's inclination in that moment. This recognition is crucial for maintaining motivation and preventing burnout. It’s the difference between thinking, "I messed up, I’m a failure," and thinking, "That was tough, but I leaned into my better self. What can I learn for next time?" This second approach is sustainable and empowering.

Low-Lift Ritual

Let’s bring these profound ideas into your week with a simple, yet powerful practice. This is designed to take less than two minutes, but its impact can be significant.

The "Inner Compass Check-In":

This week, at least once a day (and ideally twice – once in the morning and once in the evening, or before a potentially challenging interaction), take two minutes to do the following:

1. Pause and Breathe (30 seconds): Find a quiet moment. Close your eyes if comfortable. Take three slow, deep breaths. As you exhale, consciously let go of any immediate tension or distraction.
2. Acknowledge Your Divine Spark (30 seconds): Silently say to yourself, "I have a divine spark within me, yearning for good." Imagine a small, warm light glowing in your chest. This is your divine soul, always present.
3. Scan for Whispers (30 seconds): Gently bring to mind your day or the upcoming hours. Without judgment, simply notice if any subtle thoughts or feelings arise that lean towards impatience, self-focus, or a less-than-ideal impulse. This is your kelipat nogah nudging, the "wicked" potential the Tanya speaks of. Do not engage with these thoughts; just acknowledge their presence.
4. Choose Your Direction (30 seconds): Now, consciously orient yourself towards your divine spark. Silently affirm, "I choose to align with my divine soul. I will act with kindness/patience/integrity (choose one relevant quality)." This is the benoni in action – the conscious choice to steer your actions from your higher self. You don’t need to feel a dramatic shift; the intention and the choice are what matter.

This matters because: This ritual directly engages with the core tension the Tanya is exploring. It’s not about eradicating the "wicked" impulses (which is impossible and demoralizing), but about developing the muscle of awareness and conscious choice. By regularly checking in, you’re training yourself to recognize the subtle internal dynamics. You’re reminding yourself that you are not solely defined by fleeting thoughts or desires, but by your consistent, conscious alignment with your better self. Over time, this practice builds resilience, reduces knee-jerk reactions, and fosters a deeper sense of agency in your daily life. It’s a practical way to live out the wisdom of the Tanya, transforming abstract concepts into tangible, personal growth.

Chevruta Mini

To deepen your understanding and make this personal, consider these questions with a friend, family member, or even just by journaling:

Question 1

The Tanya suggests we should regard ourselves "as if we were wicked" to maintain vigilance, yet "not be wicked in our own estimation" to avoid despair. How can you apply this paradox to a situation where you’ve made a mistake (big or small) recently? Where does the "vigilance" come in, and where does the "self-compassion" help you move forward?

Question 2

The concept of the benoni as someone who actively chooses their divine soul, rather than someone who has simply achieved a perfect score, is empowering. Can you identify a moment this week where you consciously chose a kinder or more thoughtful response, even when it wasn't your easiest impulse? What did that choice feel like, and how did it shift your perspective on yourself?

Takeaway

You’re not meant to be a perfect, static saint. You’re a dynamic, evolving human being with a magnificent internal world. The Tanya’s teachings invite us to move beyond simplistic labels and embrace the nuanced reality of our dual souls. By practicing vigilance without despair, and by actively choosing to align with our divine spark, we don't just become "less wicked"; we become more consciously, vibrantly ourselves. The journey of self-discovery and spiritual growth isn't about reaching a destination of flawless righteousness, but about the rich, ongoing process of navigating our inner lives with awareness, intention, and grace. You’ve got this.