Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 11:1

Here is a ritual guide for memory and meaning, inspired by the provided text from Tanya.

Hook

We gather today to honor a memory, a presence that has shaped our landscape of life. Perhaps it is an anniversary, a birthday, or simply a moment when their light shines particularly brightly in our hearts. This space is for you, for the unique tapestry of remembrance that each of us carries. In the quiet unfolding of this time, we acknowledge the ebb and flow of grief, the profound connection that endures, and the legacy that continues to inspire. We are here to witness the enduring power of love and memory, a gentle on-ramp to exploring its meaning.

Text Snapshot

"One is the opposite the other"—the “wicked man who prospers” is antithetical to the “righteous man who suffers.” That is to say, the goodness that is in his divine soul... is subservient to, and nullified by, the evil of the kelipah... There is the person in whom the said subservience and nullification are in a very minor way... but on rare occasions the evil prevails over the good and conquers the “small city,” that is, the body—yet not all of it, but only a part of it... Presently, however, the good that is in his divine soul asserts itself, and he is filled with remorse, and he seeks pardon and forgiveness of G–d. Indeed, G–d will forgive him if he has repented with the appropriate penitence... But he who never feels contrition, and in whose mind no thoughts of repentance at all ever enter, is called the “wicked who suffers,” for the evil that is in his soul has alone remained in him, having so prevailed over the good that the latter has already departed from within him, standing aloof, so to speak, over him.

Kavvanah

The Inner Landscape of Being

This passage from Tanya, while describing a complex theological and psychological framework, offers a profound lens through which to view our own inner lives, especially in the context of grief and remembrance. It speaks to the inherent duality within each of us, a constant interplay between forces that can feel like light and shadow, or in the language of the text, good and "evil" (understood as the forces that alienate us from our deepest truth). In grief, we often confront these internal landscapes intensely. The memory of a loved one can illuminate both the profound goodness they brought into our lives and, sometimes, the difficult aspects of our own experiences or even theirs.

Navigating the "Subservience" of Goodness

The text describes a situation where "the goodness that is in his divine soul... is subservient to, and nullified by, the evil of the kelipah." This can resonate deeply with the feeling of being overwhelmed by sadness, loss, or even by the mundane demands of life when we are grieving. It can feel as though the "goodness" within us – our capacity for joy, for peace, for connection – is temporarily overshadowed, held captive by the weight of sorrow. This is not a moral failing; it is a testament to the profound impact of loss. The "minor transgressions" and "vain things" mentioned are not necessarily grand sins, but the small ways we might deviate from our well-being when we are hurting – moments of distraction, of self-neglect, or of dwelling on painful thoughts.

The Persistent Spark of "Good"

Yet, the text offers a flicker of hope that is crucial for our healing: "Presently, however, the good that is in his divine soul asserts itself, and he is filled with remorse, and he seeks pardon and forgiveness of G–d." This speaks to the innate resilience of the human spirit and the enduring presence of our core goodness. In the context of grief, this "good" might manifest as a longing for peace, a desire to honor the memory of our loved one in a meaningful way, or a quiet yearning for connection. The "remorse" and "seeking pardon" can be reinterpreted not as guilt, but as an inner prompting to reconnect with our truest selves, to acknowledge the pain without letting it consume us.

Towards a Deeper Understanding of Legacy

The "wicked who suffers" who feels no contrition represents a state where the "good" has been deeply buried. For us, engaged in the practice of remembrance, the opposite is true. We are actively seeking to bring the "good" of our memories forward. The text's exploration of different degrees of this inner struggle can help us be more compassionate with ourselves and others. We can understand that grief is not a linear process, and that at different times, different aspects of our inner landscape may feel more prominent. Our intention, our kavvanah, is to hold this understanding with gentleness, recognizing the ongoing assertion of the good within us, even amidst sorrow, and to foster a deeper appreciation for the enduring light of those we remember.

Practice

The Candle of Witnessing: A Micro-Practice in Memory and Meaning

The Tanya's exploration of the inner life, of the struggle between forces, can feel vast and complex. For this moment, we will engage in a simple, grounding practice that allows us to connect with the enduring "good" that remains, even when much feels overshadowed. This practice is about bearing witness to the light that was, and that continues to illuminate our lives.

The Practice: Lighting a Candle of Remembrance

Objective: To create a tangible point of focus for remembrance and to acknowledge the enduring light of the person or memory you are honoring.

Materials:

• A candle (a simple unscented white or beeswax candle is lovely, but use what resonates with you).
• A safe place to light the candle.
• A few moments of quiet.

Steps:

1. Prepare Your Space: Find a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed for a few minutes. Ensure the candle is placed on a stable, heat-resistant surface, away from anything flammable.

2. Gather Your Intention: Before you light the candle, gently bring to mind the person or memory you are here to honor. You might close your eyes for a moment and allow a specific image, a feeling, or a characteristic to surface. What is it about this memory that you wish to acknowledge right now?

3. Light the Candle: As you strike a match or press the ignition of your lighter, hold the intention that this flame represents:

   • The enduring light of their presence: Just as a candle casts light, so too did this person, or this memory, bring light into the world and into your life.
   • The spark of goodness: The text speaks of an inner goodness that persists. Let this flame be a symbol of that inherent good, both in the person you remember and within yourself.
   • A beacon of meaning: This light serves as a reminder that even in the face of absence, meaning continues to unfold. It is a testament to the impact they had and the lessons learned.

4. Silent Witnessing (2-3 minutes): Once the candle is lit, simply sit with its glow. You don't need to do anything specific. You might:

   • Observe the flame: Notice its flicker, its steady burn, its dance. Some find the movement calming, others find it a metaphor for life's impermanence.
   • Breathe with the flame: Inhale, and imagine drawing in the warmth and light. Exhale, and imagine releasing any tension or sadness into the flame, allowing it to be transformed.
   • Simply be present: Allow whatever arises to arise without judgment. This might be a specific memory, a feeling of warmth, a pang of sadness, or a sense of peace. The candle is a silent companion, a witness to your experience.

5. Optional: Speaking a Name or a Short Phrase: If it feels right, you may gently say the name of the person you are remembering aloud, or speak a short, heartfelt phrase that captures their essence or your connection to them. For example: "In loving memory of [Name]." or "Your laughter still echoes."

6. Extinguishing the Flame: When you are ready to conclude this practice, gently extinguish the candle. As you do so, you might offer a silent blessing or a thought of gratitude for the light that was, and the light that remains within you. You can say: "May the light of [Name]'s memory continue to guide us."

This micro-practice is an invitation to connect with the enduring "goodness" that the Tanya speaks of, by actively acknowledging the light and meaning brought by the person or memory you hold dear. It is a gentle way to integrate remembrance into your present moment.

Community

Sharing the Light: Inviting Connection and Support

The Tanya's insights, while deeply personal, gain resonance and strength when shared. The notion that "On every gathering of ten [Jews] the Shechinah rests," even if they are wicked, highlights the profound spiritual power inherent in community, in collective presence. In moments of grief and remembrance, this communal aspect becomes even more vital. It is within shared experience that our individual lights can merge, creating a larger, more sustaining glow.

Ways to Invite Connection and Support:

• The Shared Candle: If you are in a setting with others who are also remembering, you might invite each person to light their own candle, or to bring their candle to a central point, creating a shared constellation of remembrance. This visual representation of many lights coming together can be incredibly powerful.

• The Story Circle (Modified for Time): While a full story circle might take longer, you can adapt this for a brief communal moment. Invite each person to share one word, one short phrase, or one brief image that comes to mind when they think of the person or memory being honored. For example, someone might offer "warmth," another "a mischievous grin," and another "wisdom." This allows for quick, impactful sharing without the pressure of a lengthy narrative.

• The Collective Blessing or Affirmation: Together, you can recite a short, unifying blessing or affirmation. This could be something traditional, or a phrase you create together. For example: "We remember the love that bound us. We carry forward the lessons learned. May their memory be a blessing." The act of speaking these words in unison can create a sense of solidarity and shared intention.

• The "Thought of You" Note: If you are not physically together, consider a simple digital message. You could create a shared document, a group chat, or an email chain where each person can post a brief note, a memory, or simply a "Thinking of you and [Name]" message. This creates an asynchronous way to connect and offer support, acknowledging that grief and remembrance are ongoing.

• The Act of Shared Kindness (Tzedakah): The Tanya mentions different degrees of engagement with "goodness." One powerful way to honor a memory and connect as a community is through an act of kindness or charity. As a group, you could decide to contribute to a cause that was important to the person you remember, or to perform a mitzvah (a good deed) in their honor. Sharing the intention to do this, and later sharing the accomplishment, can be a deeply unifying experience.

By intentionally weaving community into our practices of remembrance, we not only honor the individual but also strengthen the bonds between us. We acknowledge that while grief can feel isolating, the shared act of remembering can be a profound source of comfort, resilience, and hope.

Takeaway

The text from Tanya invites us to see the complexity of the inner life, not as a judgment, but as a map of human experience. In our journey of memory and meaning, we are reminded that the "goodness" within us, like the persistent flame of a candle, is always present, even if at times it flickers or feels overshadowed. Our practice of remembrance is an act of tending to that light, of recognizing its enduring power to illuminate our path and connect us to each other. May we approach our memories with gentleness, our grief with compassion, and our legacy with a profound sense of enduring meaning.