Tanya Yomi · Thinking of Converting · On-Ramp
Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 12:7
This is a profound text, and it's wonderful that you're engaging with it as you explore your path toward a Jewish life. The Tanya is a foundational work of Chabad Hasidism, offering deep insights into the inner workings of the soul and the journey of spiritual growth. This particular passage speaks to the very heart of what it means to live a life aligned with divine purpose, and it offers a powerful framework for understanding your own evolving relationship with Judaism.
Hook
The journey toward a deeper connection with Judaism, and especially the process of conversion, is one of immense significance. It's a path marked by intentionality, a conscious choice to embrace a covenantal relationship with the Divine and with the Jewish people. This passage from the Tanya is particularly relevant to someone discerning this path because it describes a state of being—the benoni—that represents a profound inner balance and commitment. It’s not about perfection, but about consistent effort and a deep-seated alignment with goodness. As you consider conversion, you are actively engaging with the ideals presented here: the struggle between inner impulses and the desire to live a life of holiness, the importance of intentional thought, speech, and action, and the ultimate goal of cleaving to G-d. This text offers a nuanced understanding of spiritual struggle and triumph, one that can resonate deeply with the questions and aspirations you are likely encountering.
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Context
Here's some context to help you understand this passage:
- The "Small City" Metaphor: The Tanya often uses the metaphor of a "small city" to represent the human body and soul. The brain is the ruler, the heart is the seat of emotions and impulses, and the limbs are the instruments for action. The "city" is constantly in a state of dynamic tension between the divine soul (the forces of good) and the animal soul (the forces of self-interest and primal urges).
- The Benoni (Intermediate Person): This passage defines the benoni as someone who has not yet fully conquered their negative impulses but whose divine soul is strong enough to prevent these impulses from leading to actual sin. Their "garments" (thought, speech, and action) are primarily engaged in fulfilling the commandments, even if the underlying "essence" of the animal soul is still present.
- Relevance to Beit Din and Mikveh: While this passage doesn't directly mention the formal stages of conversion like beit din (rabbinical court) or mikveh (ritual immersion), it speaks to the internal preparation and intention that underpins these external acts. The benoni's commitment to thought, speech, and action aligned with Torah reflects the sincerity and commitment expected of a convert. The very act of seeking conversion is a profound internal shift, a conscious decision to align one's "city" with the principles of Jewish life, which the benoni embodies in their daily practice.
Text Snapshot
The benoni is he in whom evil never attains enough power to capture the “small city,” so as to clothe itself in the body and make it sin. That is to say, the three “garments” of the animal soul, namely, thought, speech, and act, originating in the kelipah, do not prevail within him over the divine soul to the extent of clothing themselves in the body—in the brain, in the mouth, and in the other 248 parts—thereby causing them to sin and defiling them, G–d forbid. Only the three garments of the divine soul, they alone are implemented in the body, being the thought, speech, and act engaged in the 613 commandments of the Torah. He has never committed, nor ever will commit, any transgression; neither can the name “wicked” be applied to him even temporarily, or even for a moment, throughout his life. However, the essence and being of the divine soul, which are its ten faculties, do not constantly hold undisputed sovereignty and sway over the “small city,” except at appropriate times, such as during the recital of the Shema or the Amidah, which is a time when the Supernal Intellect is in a sublime state; and likewise below, this is a propitious time for every man, when he binds his chabad (intellectual faculties) to G–d, to meditate deeply on the greatness of the En Sof, blessed is He, and to arouse the burning love in the right part of his heart, to cleave to Him by virtue of the fulfillment of the Torah and its commandments out of love.
Close Reading
This passage offers a profound, almost breathtaking, vision of spiritual discipline and inner harmony. As you navigate your own journey, these insights can be incredibly empowering.
Insight 1: The Power of Intentional Action and the Mastery of "Garments"
The text introduces the idea of the "three garments" of the soul: thought, speech, and act. This is a crucial concept for understanding Jewish practice. It’s not enough to simply have good intentions; these intentions must be translated into tangible expressions in our lives. The benoni is characterized by the fact that their "garments" are occupied with the "613 commandments of the Torah." This means their daily thoughts, conversations, and actions are primarily directed towards fulfilling Jewish mitzvot (commandments) and connecting with G-d.
For someone considering conversion, this insight highlights the importance of actively engaging with the mitzvot. It's not just about intellectual assent or emotional yearning; it's about the concrete steps you take. Are you learning about Shabbat and beginning to observe it? Are you practicing saying brachot (blessings) before and after eating? Are you studying Torah and Jewish law? These are the "garments" of your divine soul being clothed in the framework of Jewish practice.
The text emphasizes that in the benoni, the "evil" (the impulses from the animal soul, the kelipah) does not have the power to "clothe itself in the body and make it sin." This is a powerful affirmation that the struggle is real, but victory is possible through conscious effort. Even if negative thoughts or desires arise, they don't translate into harmful actions. This doesn't mean the desires disappear entirely, but rather that the "divine soul" has established a dominion over the "city." This dominion is exercised through the deliberate choice to engage in positive, commandment-oriented actions.
This is a deeply encouraging aspect for anyone discerning conversion. You may encounter doubts, moments of confusion, or lingering habits from your past. The Tanya assures you that the very act of directing your thoughts, speech, and actions toward Torah and mitzvot is a powerful force in strengthening your divine soul and asserting its rightful place. It suggests that the real work lies in the consistent, intentional application of Jewish practice in your daily life, transforming your inner world through outward actions.
Insight 2: The Dynamic Tension and the Promise of "Hidden Love"
While the benoni is defined by their avoidance of sin through their actions, the text also acknowledges a crucial nuance: their "essence and being of the divine soul... do not constantly hold undisputed sovereignty." There are times, particularly after prayer, when the "evil in the left part reawakens." This is a candid admission of the ongoing internal struggle. The "burning love of G-d" might not always be "revealed in his heart," but it is present as a "hidden love that is the natural adoration in the divine soul."
This is incredibly important for understanding the long-term commitment involved in Jewish life and conversion. It's not a one-time event where all internal conflict ceases. Rather, it's a continuous process of growth and refinement. The benoni experiences moments of heightened spiritual connection (during prayer, for example), but also moments where desires for worldly pleasures resurface. The key is that these desires remain in the realm of "sinful thoughts" and do not manifest as actions. The individual actively rejects these thoughts, averting their mind from them, demonstrating the supremacy of their will rooted in their divine soul.
The idea of "hidden love" is particularly poignant. It suggests that even when we don't feel a strong emotional connection, there is an innate, underlying love for G-d and for holiness within us. This hidden love is the bedrock that allows us to overcome temptation and to continue striving for closeness. For someone contemplating conversion, this offers comfort. You don't need to feel a constant, overwhelming love for G-d to be on the right path. The sincere desire to connect, the commitment to learn and to practice, the effort to push away negative thoughts – these are all manifestations of that hidden love.
The passage also touches upon interpersonal relationships, noting that the benoni actively suppresses feelings of animosity, jealousy, or anger, choosing instead to act with kindness and love, even towards those who have wronged them. This reinforces the idea that Jewish practice is not just about ritual; it’s about transforming our character and how we relate to others. The benoni's ability to control negative emotions and to actively choose positive behavior is a testament to the power of their divine soul, guided by wisdom and a deep-seated commitment to holiness. This ongoing effort, the conscious choice to act with goodness even when inner feelings are conflicted, is the essence of the benoni's spiritual achievement.
Lived Rhythm
This passage speaks powerfully to the idea of intentional living. As you discern your path, here's a concrete step to integrate its wisdom into your life:
Embrace the "Garments" of Shabbat
The Tanya highlights how the divine soul's garments (thought, speech, and act) are engaged in the 613 commandments. Shabbat is a prime example of a commandment that engages all three aspects of our being.
Your Next Step: Commit to observing Shabbat in a way that feels meaningful and manageable for you right now. This doesn't mean needing to be perfectly observant from day one. It's about intentionally carving out time and space for rest, reflection, and connection.
Here's how to approach it, focusing on the "garments":
- Thought: Before Shabbat begins, take some time to reflect on what Shabbat means to you. What are you hoping to gain from this time of rest and spiritual focus? During Shabbat, try to consciously direct your thoughts away from work or daily chores and towards appreciating the sanctity of the day, engaging with Jewish texts, or simply being present.
- Speech: Plan to engage in conversations that uplift and connect you. Perhaps you can discuss a Jewish text with a friend, share a meaningful thought about the week, or simply speak words of peace and blessing. Avoid conversations that are stressful, gossip-oriented, or focused on mundane worries.
- Act: Prepare your home in advance so that you are not rushing on Shabbat day. Light candles at the appropriate time. Consider attending a Shabbat service (even virtually if in-person is not yet feasible). Enjoy a Shabbat meal, perhaps with blessings before and after. The act of refraining from work and engaging in restful, spiritual activities is itself a profound fulfillment of the commandment.
Even if you start with a partial observance – for example, refraining from work and technology for a few hours on Saturday afternoon, or attending a Shabbat dinner – you are actively "clothing" your divine soul in the practice of Shabbat. This intentional engagement with a core mitzvah is a powerful way to embody the principles of the benoni, directing your thought, speech, and action towards holiness.
Community
Connecting with others on a similar journey is vital. The Tanya speaks to the internal life, but Jewish life is lived communally.
Seek a Mentor or Rabbi
The most direct way to deepen your understanding of texts like the Tanya and to navigate the complexities of Jewish life and conversion is to find a rabbi or a mentor. They can offer personalized guidance, answer your questions with wisdom and compassion, and help you connect with the broader Jewish community.
Your Next Step: Reach out to a rabbi at a local synagogue or a Jewish educator who specializes in conversion. Be open about your interest and your current stage of exploration. Many rabbis are eager to support individuals on this path and can provide resources, study opportunities, and introductions to relevant community members.
Takeaway
The Tanya's description of the benoni is not about achieving an unattainable state of perfection, but about the profound and ongoing work of aligning our inner lives with our highest aspirations. It teaches us that through intentional thought, speech, and action, we can strengthen our divine soul and live a life dedicated to holiness, even amidst the natural ebb and flow of our inner world. As you continue to discern your path toward Judaism, remember that your sincere effort to engage with Torah, mitzvot, and community is the very essence of this sacred journey.
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