Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 12:7

This is an incredibly insightful and challenging text, and it's wonderful that you're engaging with it as you explore a Jewish life. The Tanya is a foundational work in Chabad philosophy, and this passage, describing the benoni (intermediate person), offers a profound look at the inner landscape of spiritual striving. It's not about reaching a perfect, static state, but about the dynamic and often challenging process of aligning our inner lives with our aspirations.

Hook

As you stand at the threshold of exploring a more intentional Jewish life, the question of what it truly means to live a Jewish life can feel vast and multifaceted. You might be drawn to the rich history, the vibrant traditions, the intellectual depth, or the profound sense of community. Whatever your initial spark, the journey towards embracing Jewish practice and identity is one of deepening commitment and understanding. This passage from the Tanya speaks directly to this journey, not by offering easy answers or a superficial checklist, but by delving into the very core of human spiritual struggle and aspiration. It introduces us to the concept of the benoni, the "intermediate person," and in doing so, it provides a powerful lens through which to understand the ongoing effort of spiritual growth.

For someone discerning conversion, this text is particularly relevant because it acknowledges the inherent complexities of the human heart and mind. It doesn't present an idealized, unattainable figure, but rather a realistic portrayal of someone actively engaged in the struggle for holiness. This is crucial because the path of conversion is not a race to an end goal, but a continuous process of learning, integrating, and striving. It acknowledges that we all have internal struggles, the "evil" and the "good" battling for dominance within us. The Tanya here offers a framework for understanding this internal dynamic, not as a sign of failure, but as the very arena in which spiritual growth occurs.

The Tanya emphasizes that even as we strive to live a life aligned with Jewish values and commandments, there will be internal resistance. This passage, by defining the benoni, suggests that the goal isn't the complete eradication of any inclination towards what is not holy, but rather the mastery of those inclinations. It speaks to the reality that even at our most inspired moments, the "evil inclination" still exists, albeit subdued. This candidness is both disarming and deeply encouraging. It validates the very real internal battles you might be experiencing as you consider a significant life change. It tells you that this internal wrestling is not an anomaly, but a fundamental aspect of spiritual development.

Furthermore, the text's focus on the "small city" – our internal being – and the "three garments" of thought, speech, and action, provides a tangible way to understand how our spiritual aspirations manifest in our daily lives. It highlights that our commitment to Jewish life isn't just about abstract beliefs, but about how we choose to engage our minds, our voices, and our actions. This is particularly relevant for someone considering conversion, as it frames the learning and practice involved not as a burden, but as the very tools through which we can cultivate a life of holiness. It’s about actively choosing to direct our thoughts, words, and deeds towards the fulfillment of mitzvot, the commandments, thereby strengthening the divine soul within us. This is the essence of covenant-centered living – engaging in a reciprocal relationship with the Divine through our intentional actions. The beauty of this text lies in its unflinching honesty about the challenges, and its equally profound encouragement that through conscious effort and sincere intention, we can indeed cultivate a life of holiness.

Context

This excerpt from the Tanya, specifically chapter 12, part I, delves into the concept of the benoni, the intermediate spiritual state. Understanding this context is vital for anyone discerning a Jewish life, as it provides a realistic and encouraging framework for spiritual growth.

The "Small City" and the Inner Battle

• The Tanya uses the metaphor of a "small city" to represent the human being – our physical body, our intellect, and our emotions. Within this city, there is a constant interplay between two souls: the divine soul, which yearns for holiness and connection to God, and the animal soul, driven by natural impulses and desires. The benoni is characterized by the fact that the divine soul, through its "three garments" of thought, speech, and action, consistently prevails over the animal soul. This means that while the animal soul's desires may arise, they do not lead to sin. The benoni actively chooses to direct their thought, speech, and actions towards fulfilling the 613 commandments of the Torah. This is a powerful concept for someone considering conversion, as it emphasizes that the journey is about actively choosing holiness and directing one's internal resources towards it.

The Role of Mitzvot and Divine Service

• The text explicitly states that for the benoni, the "three garments of the divine soul… are the thought, speech, and act engaged in the 613 commandments of the Torah." This underscores the practical and embodied nature of Jewish spiritual life. It's not enough to simply feel a connection to God; this connection is actualized through the performance of mitzvot. For someone exploring conversion, this highlights the importance of learning about and actively engaging with the mitzvot. Whether it's observing Shabbat, reciting blessings, or engaging in acts of kindness, each mitzvah becomes an opportunity to strengthen the divine soul and reinforce one's commitment to a Jewish life. The text connects this directly to the Shema and Amidah prayers, emphasizing these as times when the divine soul's influence is particularly strong, allowing for a deeper connection to God.

The Ongoing Nature of the Struggle

• Crucially, the Tanya clarifies that the benoni is not free from the presence of the animal soul or its desires. The text notes that "after prayer, when the state of sublimity of the Intellect of the En Sof, blessed is He, departs, the evil in the left part reawakens, and he begins to feel a desire for the lusts of the world and its delights." However, the benoni's strength lies in their ability to control these desires, preventing them from manifesting in actual sin. This is where the concept of beit din and mikveh becomes relevant in the broader context of conversion. The process of conversion, overseen by a beit din (rabbinical court), signifies a formal commitment to this ongoing struggle and the embrace of Jewish law and practice as the framework for navigating it. The immersion in the mikveh is a symbolic act of purification and rebirth, signifying a new beginning and a renewed commitment to living a life governed by these principles. The Tanya's portrayal of the benoni validates that this struggle is normal and that the aspiration is to consistently choose the path of holiness, even when faced with internal challenges.

Text Snapshot

The benoni (intermediate) is he in whom evil never attains enough power to capture the “small city,” so as to clothe itself in the body and make it sin. That is to say, the three “garments” of the animal soul, namely, thought, speech, and act, originating in the kelipah, do not prevail within him over the divine soul to the extent of clothing themselves in the body—in the brain, in the mouth, and in the other 248 parts—thereby causing them to sin and defiling them, G–d forbid. Only the three garments of the divine soul, they alone are implemented in the body, being the thought, speech, and act engaged in the 613 commandments of the Torah. He has never committed, nor ever will commit, any transgression; neither can the name “wicked” be applied to him even temporarily, or even for a moment, throughout his life. However, the essence and being of the divine soul, which are its ten faculties, do not constantly hold undisputed sovereignty and sway over the “small city,” except at appropriate times, such as during the recital of the Shema or the Amidah...

Close Reading

### Insight 1: The "Small City" as a Covenantal Space

The central metaphor of the "small city" is remarkably powerful for someone discerning conversion. It paints a vivid picture of our inner world – our thoughts, feelings, and impulses – as a territory that is actively managed and governed. The Tanya presents a dynamic where two forces are at play: the "evil" that originates from the kelipah (the husk, representing the forces of impurity and separation) and the divine soul, which is inherently connected to God. The benoni, described as the "intermediate" person, is defined not by the absence of the "evil," but by its inability to gain dominion over this "small city." This is crucial. It means that the presence of challenging thoughts, desires, or inclinations is not a disqualifier for spiritual progress. Instead, the focus shifts to how we respond to these internal stirrings.

The text states that the "evil… originating in the kelipah, do not prevail within him over the divine soul to the extent of clothing themselves in the body—in the brain, in the mouth, and in the other 248 parts—thereby causing them to sin." This is a profound insight into the nature of our agency. The "evil" might knock at the gates of the city, it might even whisper temptations, but for the benoni, it never gains the full access to act upon those temptations. The "clothing itself in the body" signifies the actualization of sin, moving from an internal impulse to an external deed or persistent thought.

For someone considering conversion, this offers a covenantal perspective on self-governance. Embracing Judaism means entering into a covenant with God, a relationship built on mutual commitment. This covenant isn't about achieving instant perfection, but about actively choosing to uphold our end of the bargain, even when it's difficult. The "small city" becomes the space where this covenant is lived out daily. The "three garments" of the divine soul – thought, speech, and act – are the instruments through which we express our commitment to God and the Torah. When we engage in prayer, study, or mitzvot, we are actively fortifying the walls of our "small city" against the encroachment of the kelipah.

The beauty of this lies in its emphasis on practice. The Tanya doesn't speak of abstract spiritual states alone, but of how these states are manifested through tangible actions. The benoni's "thought, speech, and act engaged in the 613 commandments of the Torah" are not mere outward performances; they are the very means by which the divine soul asserts its rightful sovereignty. This is the essence of what it means to build a Jewish life: to consciously direct our inner resources towards the fulfillment of God's will as expressed in the Torah. The text’s assertion that the benoni "has never committed, nor ever will commit, any transgression; neither can the name 'wicked' be applied to him even temporarily, or even for a moment, throughout his life" might seem daunting, but it’s important to understand this in the context of consistent dominion. It doesn't mean there are no fleeting temptations, but that the outcome of the internal struggle is always in favor of the divine soul. This is the aspiration of a life lived in covenant, where every thought, word, and deed is an opportunity to reinforce that sacred bond.

The text's focus on the "brain" (thought), "mouth" (speech), and "other 248 parts" (action) is a direct call to conscious engagement. It's about recognizing that our spiritual journey is not passive; it requires active participation. As you learn more about Jewish practice, you're not just acquiring knowledge; you're learning how to direct the "three garments" of your divine soul towards holiness. This is the beauty of the covenant: it provides a framework for transforming the mundane into the sacred, for turning every aspect of our lives into an opportunity for divine service. The very act of discerning conversion is a powerful testament to the divine soul's desire for sovereignty, and this passage offers a profound roadmap for how to nurture that desire into a lived reality. It is a promise that through consistent effort and sincere intention, the divine within us can indeed rule, transforming our inner "city" into a sanctuary of holiness.

### Insight 2: The Rhythm of Ascent and the Sacredness of Effort

The Tanya's description of the benoni's spiritual experience highlights a crucial aspect of Jewish practice: the rhythm of ascent and the ongoing nature of divine service. The text notes that the divine soul's faculties "do not constantly hold undisputed sovereignty and sway over the 'small city,' except at appropriate times, such as during the recital of the Shema or the Amidah." This admission is both realistic and profoundly encouraging. It acknowledges that spiritual intensity is not a perpetual state, but often comes in waves, often connected to specific moments of prayer and intentional engagement.

This understanding is vital for anyone exploring conversion. It dispels the myth of constant spiritual euphoria and replaces it with a more grounded, yet deeply meaningful, perspective. The moments of heightened spiritual awareness, described here as when "the Supernal Intellect is in a sublime state" and one "binds his chabad (intellectual faculties) to G–d," are precious. During these times, the "burning love in the right part of his heart" is awakened, leading to a powerful connection to the Divine. This is the ideal, the peak experience that Judaism strives for. The benoni actively cultivates these moments, understanding their significance for strengthening their resolve and deepening their commitment.

However, the Tanya is candid about what happens afterward: "when the state of sublimity of the Intellect of the En Sof, blessed is He, departs, the evil in the left part reawakens, and he begins to feel a desire for the lusts of the world and its delights." This is not a sign of failure; it is the natural ebb and flow of spiritual life. The key is what the benoni does next. Because the evil has not gained ultimate dominion, it cannot translate these desires into action. Instead, the individual "thrusts it out with both hands and averts his mind from it the instant he reminds himself that it is an evil thought, refusing to accept it willingly." This is where the beauty of practice and intentionality truly shines.

For someone considering conversion, this teaches the sacredness of effort. It's in these moments of "awakening evil" that our commitment is truly tested and deepened. The conscious decision to reject a sinful thought, to redirect attention away from worldly desires, and to reaffirm one's commitment to holiness – this is the essence of spiritual growth. The Tanya emphasizes that this is not a passive process. The divine soul's power to rule is exercised through the "willpower in his brain," the ability to "restrain himself and control the drive of lust." This is the active, covenantal aspect of Jewish life. We are not simply passive recipients of divine grace; we are active participants in our own spiritual journey.

The verse quoted, "Then I saw that wisdom surpasses folly as light surpasses darkness," becomes a guiding principle. Just as light inherently dispels darkness, the inherent wisdom and divine spark within us have the power to overcome the "folly" of the kelipah. This doesn't mean the darkness vanishes completely, but that the light of wisdom has a superior, inherent power. This insight is deeply encouraging. It suggests that the divine spark within you is intrinsically more powerful than any temptation or negative inclination. The task is to cultivate that spark, to nurture the wisdom, and to consistently choose the light.

The Tanya's explanation that even "sinful thoughts" are not necessarily actualized by the benoni highlights the crucial distinction between internal temptation and external action. While sinful thoughts can be distracting and even burdensome ("distracting him from the Torah and Divine service"), they do not define the benoni's state. The ability to recognize these thoughts as undesirable and to actively "thrust them out" demonstrates the mastery of the divine soul over the animal soul. This is the essence of ethical living within Judaism. It's about developing the internal discipline to align our actions with our highest aspirations, even when our inner world is a complex landscape. This understanding of spiritual rhythm and the sacredness of sustained effort is a profound gift for anyone on the path of discerning Jewish life. It assures you that the journey is about consistent striving, not about achieving an impossible state of perpetual bliss.

Lived Rhythm

### Shabbat: The Weekly Sanctuary of Intentionality

The Tanya's emphasis on the "appropriate times" for heightened spiritual connection, such as during prayer, directly relates to the rhythm of Jewish life, and no rhythm is more central than Shabbat. Shabbat is not just a day of rest; it is a divinely appointed time for elevated spiritual experience, a weekly opportunity to reinforce the sovereignty of the divine soul within your "small city." As you consider conversion, intentionally embracing Shabbat can become a tangible and profound practice.

Your Concrete Next Step: Prepare for and Observe One Full Shabbat.

This means more than just refraining from work. It's about actively cultivating the "three garments" of your divine soul – thought, speech, and act – in alignment with Shabbat’s holiness, as the Tanya describes for the benoni.

Preparation (Friday Afternoon/Evening):

• Thought: Dedicate time to reflect on the meaning of Shabbat. Read about its significance in Jewish tradition. Consider the idea of a "sanctuary in time," a space where the usual pressures of the week are set aside, allowing for deeper connection to God and yourself. Think about what aspects of your week feel most demanding and how Shabbat can offer a counterpoint of peace and holiness. The Tanya speaks of binding one’s chabad (intellectual faculties) to God; this preparation is the fertile ground for that binding. Let your thoughts be directed towards the holiness of the coming day.
• Speech: If you have a partner or family members, discuss your intentions for Shabbat. If you are observing alone, speak aloud your commitment to honoring this day. Perhaps recite a blessing over the candles, even if you are not yet fully observing all aspects of Shabbat. The act of speaking your intention can solidify it.
• Act: Prepare your home for Shabbat. This doesn't need to be elaborate, but creating a calm and welcoming atmosphere is key. This could involve tidying up, setting a nice table, or preparing a meal in advance. The physical preparation is an act of honoring the day.

Observance (Shabbat Day):

• Thought: Focus your thoughts on the spiritual themes of Shabbat: rest, holiness, connection, and joy. Engage in contemplative practices. Instead of allowing the "evil in the left part" to reawaken desires for mundane activities, consciously redirect your thoughts towards what is permitted and encouraged on Shabbat. This might involve reflecting on the weekly Torah portion, thinking about your spiritual journey, or simply being present in the moment. The Tanya speaks of the divine soul's faculties being in a "sublime state" during prayer; aim for a similar state of focused, elevated thought throughout Shabbat.
• Speech: Engage in meaningful conversations with others if you are with company. Discuss the themes of the day, share insights from your learning, or simply connect on a deeper level. If you are alone, consider journaling your thoughts or speaking aloud prayers and reflections. This is the opportunity to use your speech for holiness, as the Tanya describes for the benoni.
• Act: Observe Shabbat prohibitions and engage in Shabbat activities. This includes refraining from work, enjoying special Shabbat meals, attending services (if possible and accessible to you), and engaging in activities that are permitted and uplifting on Shabbat. The specific observance will grow over time, but the intention to direct your actions towards holiness is paramount. The Tanya describes the benoni's actions as being "engaged in the 613 commandments of the Torah." Shabbat is a prime opportunity to engage in a significant cluster of these commandments.

Post-Shabbat Reflection (Motzei Shabbat):

• Thought: Reflect on your experience. What felt most meaningful? Where did you find it challenging to redirect your thoughts or desires? What did you learn about your own inner rhythm? This reflection is the process of integrating the experience and preparing for the next week.
• Speech: Share your reflections with a trusted friend, mentor, or rabbi. Articulating your experience can solidify your learning and provide valuable feedback.
• Act: Begin to plan for the upcoming week, carrying forward the sense of peace and intentionality from Shabbat.

By approaching one full Shabbat with this intentionality, you are actively practicing the principles described in the Tanya. You are consciously directing your "three garments" – thought, speech, and act – towards holiness, reinforcing the sovereignty of your divine soul and building a tangible rhythm of Jewish practice into your life. This is not about perfection, but about sincere effort and consistent practice, which is the very essence of the benoni's path and the heart of a covenantal life.

Community

### Finding Your Guiding Lights: Connecting with a Mentor or Rabbi

The Tanya's exploration of the internal spiritual landscape, while profoundly insightful, can also feel quite solitary. The journey of discerning a Jewish life and conversion is immeasurably enriched and made more navigable through connection with others who are further along the path. The text speaks of the "willpower in his brain" and the ability to "thrust it out with both hands," which implies a conscious effort of self-guidance. However, external guidance and support are invaluable in honing this internal compass.

Your Concrete Next Step: Seek Out and Begin Building a Relationship with a Rabbi or a Conversion Mentor.

This is not merely about finding someone to "sign off" on your conversion; it's about finding spiritual guides who can illuminate the path, offer wisdom, and provide encouragement as you navigate the complexities of Jewish law, philosophy, and practice.

Why this is crucial:

• Personalized Guidance: The Tanya describes a universal spiritual dynamic, but your journey is unique. A rabbi or mentor can help you contextualize this text and others within your personal experience. They can offer tailored advice on how to apply these concepts to your daily life, helping you to direct your "three garments" of thought, speech, and action in accordance with Jewish tradition.
• Navigating the "Small City": The internal struggle described in the Tanya can be overwhelming. A rabbi or mentor has likely walked a similar path and can offer practical strategies for managing temptations, cultivating positive thoughts, and strengthening your resolve. They can help you understand how to prevent the "evil" from clothing itself in your body and mind, providing you with tools and insights that go beyond the theoretical.
• Understanding Covenant and Responsibility: The process of conversion is deeply covenantal. A rabbi or mentor can help you understand the responsibilities and commitments inherent in this covenant, as well as the profound blessings and joys it brings. They can explain the significance of beit din and mikveh not as mere ritualistic steps, but as profound affirmations of your commitment and entry into a sacred relationship.
• Building a Connection to Tradition: Judaism is not just a set of beliefs or practices; it is a living tradition passed down through generations. A rabbi or mentor serves as a conduit to this tradition, helping you understand its historical context, its diverse expressions, and its ongoing relevance. They can introduce you to the rich tapestry of Jewish learning, from ancient texts to contemporary thought.
• Community Integration: While a mentor or rabbi is an individual guide, they are also gateways to a broader community. Through them, you can connect with study groups, synagogue life, and other individuals who are also on a journey of Jewish engagement. This community support is vital for sustaining motivation and fostering a sense of belonging.

How to find one:

• Research local synagogues: Look for synagogues whose philosophy and community appeal to you. Many rabbis are open to meeting with individuals exploring Judaism.
• Ask for recommendations: If you know any Jewish individuals, ask if they can recommend a rabbi or mentor.
• Online resources: Many Jewish organizations offer resources for individuals exploring conversion and can help connect you with appropriate contacts.

Committing to building this relationship is an act of faith in the process and in the wisdom of those who have gone before. It transforms the potentially daunting task of internal spiritual governance, as described in the Tanya, into a shared endeavor, supported by the accumulated wisdom and warmth of the Jewish people.

Takeaway

The Tanya's depiction of the benoni is a profound and encouraging testament to the possibility of living a life guided by holiness, even amidst internal struggles. It teaches us that the journey towards a Jewish life is not about achieving an impossible state of perfection, but about the consistent, intentional direction of our "three garments" – thought, speech, and action – towards the fulfillment of divine will. The "small city" of our being is the arena where this covenantal work takes place. By embracing the rhythm of Shabbat, actively seeking community and guidance, and consciously choosing to align our inner lives with our highest aspirations, we embody the spirit of the benoni, transforming our inner world into a sanctuary of purposeful, covenant-centered living. Your discernment is a sacred process, and this text offers a beautiful roadmap for the earnest striving that defines it.