Tanya Yomi · Memory & Meaning · Standard

Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 12:7

StandardMemory & MeaningJanuary 5, 2026

This is a profound journey, and I am honored to walk with you. The path you've chosen, "Memory & Meaning," at an intermediate level, for a 15-minute engagement, draws from the wisdom of Tanya, specifically Likkutei Amarim 12:7. This text offers a nuanced perspective on the human soul and its capacity for both light and shadow, a concept deeply relevant when we navigate grief and remembrance.

Hook

Today, we gather, perhaps not in a physical space, but in a shared intention, to honor a memory, to acknowledge a presence that has transitioned from our immediate tangible world into the realm of lasting impact. This moment is for you, and for the specific memory that has drawn you here, whether it is the anniversary of a loss, a birthday that feels particularly poignant, or simply a quiet Tuesday when a name or a face surfaced with an unexpected weight. We are here to engage with the rich tapestry of remembrance, not to erase the pain, for that is a part of the love we hold, but to weave in threads of meaning, to understand how the imprint of a life continues to shape our own. The passage from Tanya we will explore speaks of the internal landscape of the human soul, of the constant interplay between inclinations, between the forces that draw us towards light and those that pull towards shadow. This internal dynamic mirrors the journey of grief, where moments of clarity and peace can coexist with profound sorrow, and where the very act of remembering can feel like a battleground of emotions. This practice is an invitation to hold that complexity with gentle awareness, to find the enduring light within the memory, even as the shadows of absence remain. It is a space to recognize that the meaning of a life doesn't end with its physical cessation, but rather evolves, deepens, and continues to resonate within us and through us.

Text Snapshot

The benoni (intermediate) is he in whom evil never attains enough power to capture the “small city,” so as to clothe itself in the body and make it sin. That is to say, the three “garments” of the animal soul, namely, thought, speech, and act, originating in the kelipah, do not prevail within him over the divine soul to the extent of clothing themselves in the body—in the brain, in the mouth, and in the other 248 parts—thereby causing them to sin and defiling them, G–d forbid. Only the three garments of the divine soul, they alone are implemented in the body, being the thought, speech, and act engaged in the 613 commandments of the Torah. He has never committed, nor ever will commit, any transgression; neither can the name “wicked” be applied to him even temporarily, or even for a moment, throughout his life. However, the essence and being of the divine soul, which are its ten faculties, do not constantly hold undisputed sovereignty and sway over the “small city,” except at appropriate times, such as during the recital of the Shema or the Amidah, when the Supernal Intellect is in a sublime state.

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Kavvanah

Embracing the Inner Landscape of Remembrance

The concept of the benoni, the "intermediate" person, as described in Tanya, offers a profound lens through which to understand our own internal experience of grief and remembrance. It's not about achieving a state of absolute perfection, nor is it about succumbing to despair. Instead, it speaks to a dynamic process, a constant, subtle negotiation within the self. When we remember someone we have lost, we are engaging with a complex inner landscape. The passage suggests that even in the most dedicated individuals, there exists a duality, a tension between the "animal soul" (often associated with our primal instincts and desires, the kelipah or husk) and the "divine soul" (our innate spiritual essence).

In the context of grief, this means acknowledging that moments of profound sadness, longing, or even frustration can coexist with our deepest love and our most sacred memories. The "evil" mentioned in the text isn't necessarily a moral failing in the conventional sense, but rather the pull of the material world, the distractions, the anxieties, the desires that can momentarily obscure the clarity of our spiritual connection. The "small city" is our being, our consciousness, our physical and emotional selves. The "garments" of thought, speech, and act are how we manifest our inner reality.

When we grieve, the divine soul, our source of love and connection, is deeply engaged. We think of the person, we speak their name, we recall their actions. These are the "garments" of our divine soul at work, fulfilling the "commandments" of remembrance and love. However, the passage also suggests that the "animal soul," the part of us that grapples with the immediate reality of absence, can stir. It might manifest as a desire to escape the pain, to be distracted, or even as intrusive thoughts that question or lament.

The benoni, according to Tanya, doesn't allow these "evil" impulses to fully "clothe themselves in the body" to the point of sinful action or defilement. This is not to say the impulses aren't felt, but rather that there is an internal governor, a wisdom that prevents them from taking root and dominating. In grief, this translates to recognizing that while we may experience moments of overwhelming sadness or even a desire to "forget" the pain, our deeper, divine self has the capacity to manage these feelings. We can acknowledge the longing, the sorrow, the anger, without letting them define us or lead us to act in ways that are truly detrimental to our well-being or our connection to the legacy of the one we remember.

The passage highlights that even for the benoni, this sovereignty of the divine soul is not constant. It shines brightest during "appropriate times," like prayer, when the mind is focused on the Divine. Similarly, in remembrance, our deepest sense of connection and meaning often surfaces during dedicated moments of reflection, when we intentionally bring our focus to the person and the love we shared. During these times, the divine soul's wisdom and love can "subject and nullify" the stirrings of the "animal soul," the part that might be tempted by despair or distraction.

However, the text also cautions that "after prayer, when the state of sublimity... departs, the evil in the left part reawakens." This is a crucial insight for grief. Just as intense spiritual experiences can fade, so too can moments of profound clarity in remembrance. The raw ache of loss can resurface. The desires for distraction, for forgetting, for a return to a time before the loss, can return. The wisdom here is not to be discouraged by this ebb and flow. It is natural. The benoni doesn't cease to be a benoni because these impulses return; rather, they are met with the inherent strength of the divine soul.

The core of the benoni*'s* strength lies in the innate capacity of the divine soul's intellect to "restrain itself and control the drive of lust that is in his heart." This means we have an inherent ability to manage our desires, even the desire to escape difficult emotions. We can choose not to let our hearts' deepest yearnings for what is lost, or our immediate impulses to numb the pain, dictate our actions or our sustained thoughts. The passage emphasizes that "wisdom surpasses folly as light surpasses darkness." Our capacity for wisdom, for understanding, for love – these are the lights that can banish the darkness of despair and distraction.

The goal is not to eradicate the "darkness" of grief entirely, for that would be to deny a part of our human experience and the depth of our love. Instead, the kavvanah* (intention) is to cultivate the "light" of meaning and connection. It is to recognize that even when the "burning love of G–d is not in a revealed state in his heart," it is "inwardly paved with hidden love." This "hidden love" is the enduring essence of our connection to the one we remember. It is the silent adoration, the deep knowing of their impact on us, even when we are not actively meditating on it.

Therefore, our intention in this practice is to acknowledge the full spectrum of our internal experience during remembrance. We aim to hold both the pain of absence and the enduring warmth of love. We intend to use our capacity for wisdom and reflection to guide our thoughts and actions, allowing the light of meaning to illuminate the path forward, even as the shadows of grief may linger. We recognize that this is a process, not a destination, and that each moment of conscious remembrance, of choosing meaning over despair, strengthens the divine within us and honors the legacy of the one we hold dear. We cultivate the understanding that even when the immediate intensity of grief subsides, the deep, abiding love and the meaning derived from that relationship continue to reside within us, ready to be accessed and honored. This is the gentle art of becoming, in our remembrance, a form of the benoni* – not perfect, but resilient, imbued with wisdom, and guided by a love that transcends the immediate circumstances of loss.

Practice

The Altar of Thought, Speech, and Act

This practice invites you to create a personal altar of remembrance, drawing inspiration from the Tanya's concept of the "three garments" of the soul: thought, speech, and act. For 15 minutes, we will engage with these three modalities to honor the memory of the person you are remembering, allowing their legacy to manifest in your present experience. This is not about forcing emotions or achieving a specific state, but about intentionally engaging with the enduring meaning they hold for you.

The Altar of Thought: The Brain as a Sacred Space

Duration: Approximately 5 minutes

The Practice:

Find Your Space: Settle into a comfortable position. You might choose a quiet corner, a favorite chair, or even a space outdoors. If you have a physical space you've designated for remembrance (a shelf with photos, a special table), you might sit near it.

Focus on the "Brain": The Tanya speaks of the "brain" as the seat of thought, the place where our intellect resides. For these five minutes, we will dedicate our thinking to the person we are remembering.

Gentle Recall: Close your eyes, or soften your gaze. Begin by gently bringing the person's image to mind. Allow yourself to recall a memory, not necessarily the most dramatic or significant, but one that arises naturally and feels significant to you in this moment. It could be a fleeting smile, a particular way they had of speaking, a shared laugh, or a quiet moment of understanding.

Deepen the Thought: As the memory surfaces, allow yourself to simply be with it. Instead of analyzing it or trying to extract a grand lesson, simply observe the sensations, the emotions, the details that arise. Ask yourself, without pressure:

What qualities of their being are illuminated in this memory? (e.g., their kindness, their humor, their resilience, their passion).

What did you learn from them, directly or indirectly, through this type of experience?

What subtle aspect of their personality do you wish to hold onto?

The "Benoni" Insight: Remember the Tanya's teaching that even when "evil" (distractions, negative thoughts) arises, the wise individual can direct their "willpower in his brain" to control it. In this practice, if your mind wanders to anxieties or the pain of absence, gently acknowledge it, and then, with kindness, redirect your focus back to the chosen memory, to the qualities you are honoring. You are not pushing away the difficult feelings, but rather choosing to give prominence to the positive imprint of the memory.

Acknowledge the "Hidden Love": Recognize that even if the memory brings a pang of sadness, underneath it lies the "hidden love" – the deep, abiding connection. This love is the essence of the divine soul's engagement.

The Altar of Speech: Voicing the Resonance

Duration: Approximately 5 minutes

The Practice:

Transitioning to Speech: If you are able, you might find a way to vocalize your remembrance. This can be done aloud, softly to yourself, or by writing. The key is to give voice to the inner experience.

Speaking Their Name: Begin by simply saying their name. Allow the sound to resonate.

Articulating a Quality or a Wish: Draw from the thoughts you cultivated in the previous step. Choose one quality you wish to honor, or one aspect of their legacy you want to acknowledge. Speak it aloud.

Examples:

"I remember your [quality, e.g., unwavering optimism], and I carry that with me."

"Your [action or trait, e.g., generosity] taught me so much about [related concept, e.g., the power of giving]."

"I wish to speak your name today, to keep your memory alive in my words."

"May the lessons of your [trait, e.g., courage] continue to inspire me."

The "Benoni" Insight: The Tanya speaks of how the divine soul's "three garments" (thought, speech, act) are engaged in the "613 commandments of the Torah." While we are not literally observing commandments in this moment, the act of intentional, positive articulation of remembrance can be seen as a spiritual act, a fulfilling of the "commandment" to honor and remember. You are choosing to use your voice not to dwell on the void, but to articulate the enduring presence and meaning.

A Prayer of Acknowledgment: If speaking aloud feels challenging, you might offer a silent prayer or affirmation. This could be a simple "Thank you for..." or "I honor your..." directed towards the memory.

The Altar of Act: Embodied Legacy

Duration: Approximately 5 minutes

The Practice:

Bringing it into Action: This final aspect involves translating the memory and the spoken intention into a tangible act, however small. This is how the legacy is "clothed" in the body, not in a way that defiles, but in a way that honors.

Choosing a Small Act: Select a simple, concrete action that embodies something of the person you remember, or that reflects a value they held, or that simply serves as a gesture of continuation.

Examples:

For a nature lover: Step outside for a moment, notice the sky, a tree, or a flower, and consciously connect with their appreciation for the natural world.

For someone who valued kindness: Offer a genuine smile to a stranger, hold a door open with intention, or send a brief, kind message to a friend.

For someone who loved to learn: Read a paragraph from a book, listen to a short podcast on a topic they enjoyed, or research something new.

For someone who was creative: Sketch for a minute, hum a tune, or simply arrange objects in a pleasing way.

For someone who was a caregiver: Take a moment to offer yourself a small act of self-care – drink a glass of water mindfully, stretch, or breathe deeply.

The "Benoni" Insight: The Tanya states that the divine soul's garments are engaged in "thought, speech, and act." By choosing a deliberate, positive action, you are actively embodying the legacy. You are not letting the "animal soul's" desires for distraction or avoidance dictate your actions. Instead, you are using your physical being to express and continue the positive imprint of the person you remember. This act, however small, is a testament to the enduring influence of their life.

Connecting the Threads: As you perform this act, acknowledge how it connects to your thoughts and spoken words. You are weaving together the different aspects of your remembrance, creating a holistic experience. The act is the physical manifestation of the meaning you have cultivated.

Concluding the Practice:

Take a few deep breaths. Notice any sensations in your body, any shifts in your internal landscape. Acknowledge the intention you brought to this practice, the gentle engagement with memory and meaning. You have, in these 15 minutes, created a sacred space within yourself, honoring the person through thought, speech, and act, aligning with the wisdom that even in the midst of complex emotions, we have the capacity to choose meaning and connection.

Community

Shared Echoes: A Circle of Remembrance

The wisdom of Tanya, while deeply personal, also speaks to the interconnectedness of souls. The "divine soul" within each of us is part of a larger tapestry. In grief, the feeling of isolation can be profound, yet our capacity to connect with others who understand or who can offer support is a vital part of healing and finding meaning.

The Practice of Shared Echoes

Duration: This section offers a suggestion for how to extend the intention of your 15-minute practice into your interactions with others, or how to seek solace and support.

The Practice:

The "Benoni" and Interpersonal Connection: The Tanya describes the benoni* as someone who, even when faced with internal stirrings of negativity, directs their will towards positive action and conduct towards their neighbor, showing kindness and love. This principle extends beyond our internal struggles to how we interact with the world. In remembrance, this means extending the positive impact of the person's legacy into our relationships.

Sharing a Gentle Echo: Consider how you might share a gentle echo of your remembrance with someone else. This is not about burdening others with your grief, but about offering a small piece of the meaning you've cultivated.

Option A: A Simple Message: Send a brief text, email, or leave a voicemail for a friend or family member who also knew the person you are remembering. It could be as simple as: "Thinking of [Name] today and remembering their [specific positive quality, e.g., infectious laugh]. Hope you're having a peaceful day." This act of reaching out acknowledges a shared connection and can be a source of comfort for both of you.

Option B: Acknowledging a Shared Value: If you are interacting with someone who embodies a quality that the person you remember also possessed, you might quietly acknowledge that connection. For example, if you see someone being particularly patient, you might think to yourself, "This reminds me of how [Name] handled difficult situations with grace." This internal acknowledgment connects your present experience to the past memory.

Option C: Seeking Gentle Support: If you feel ready, consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or support group member. You could say something like: "Today is a day I'm remembering [Name]. I'm finding meaning in [mention a specific thought or act from your practice], and I’d welcome a quiet moment of connection if you have a few minutes." This is an invitation for shared presence, not necessarily for advice or problem-solving.

The Power of Collective Remembrance: When we share our memories, even in small ways, we contribute to a collective tapestry of remembrance. The legacy of the person you are remembering is not confined to your individual experience; it ripples outwards. The Tanya's concept of the divine soul's connection implies that our positive intentions and actions can resonate beyond ourselves. By sharing a gentle echo, you are participating in this broader resonance.

Honoring Different Timelines: Recognize that not everyone may be at the same stage in their grief journey, nor may they be able to engage with remembrance in the same way. The intention here is not to force conversation, but to offer a gentle opening. If someone doesn't respond in the way you might hope, or if the conversation doesn't flow easily, be gentle with yourself and with them. The act of reaching out with a positive intention is itself a fulfillment of the principle.

Community as a "Small City" of Support: Just as the individual is a "small city" of their own being, our communities – families, friends, spiritual circles – can be seen as larger cities of support. By contributing a positive echo, you are strengthening this communal fabric. You are not alone in your remembrance, and by gently sharing, you create opportunities for others to connect with that shared legacy. This practice is about weaving the threads of individual remembrance into the broader community, recognizing that our connections to those we've lost continue to shape our relationships with the living.

Takeaway

The journey through memory and meaning, guided by the wisdom of Tanya, reminds us that remembrance is not a passive state but an active, dynamic engagement. The concept of the benoni* offers a path to navigate the complexities of grief, not by erasing difficult emotions, but by cultivating the enduring light of love and meaning. We learn that our inner world, our "small city," is a place where our divine soul, with its capacity for wisdom and love, can guide our thoughts, speech, and actions, even amidst the stirrings of the "animal soul."

In this 15-minute practice, you have intentionally engaged with your memory through thought, speech, and act, creating a personal altar of remembrance. You have also been invited to consider how this intention can ripple outwards, connecting you to others and weaving the legacy of the one you remember into the fabric of your community.

The takeaway is this: Meaning is not lost; it is cultivated. Even in the face of absence, the imprint of a life continues to shape us. By consciously engaging with our memories, by choosing to focus on the enduring qualities and lessons, and by allowing that meaning to inform our actions and our connections, we honor not only the one who has passed but also the divine spark within ourselves that yearns for connection and purpose. This is the gentle, ongoing ritual of remembrance – a testament to love that transcends time and space.

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