Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 13:11

Hook

Ever feel like you're wrestling with yourself? Like there's a part of you that wants to do one thing, and another part that's pulling in a completely different direction? Maybe you’ve had a burst of inspiration to be super productive, only to find yourself scrolling through cat videos an hour later. Or perhaps you’ve vowed to eat healthier, but then that delicious pizza slice just calls your name. It’s a common human experience, this internal tug-of-war. We all have those moments where our intentions and our actions seem to be on different planets. It can be confusing, frustrating, and sometimes, it even makes us wonder what kind of person we really are. Are we good? Are we bad? Are we somewhere in the messy middle? Today, we’re going to dive into a text that tackles this very feeling. It’s not about judging you or labeling you, but about understanding this common human dynamic in a way that can actually be helpful. We'll explore the idea that maybe, just maybe, this internal conflict is a sign of something deeper, and that navigating it is a fundamental part of our journey. Get ready to peek behind the curtain of your own inner world, with a little bit of ancient wisdom to guide us.

Context

Welcome to our little exploration! Today we're looking at a text from a really foundational work in Jewish thought called the Tanya. It’s a book that dives deep into the human soul and how we connect with the Divine.

• Who wrote it? The Tanya was written by Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, a major figure in Chabad-Lubavitch Hasidism, who lived in the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Think of him as a spiritual guide who wanted to make complex ideas accessible.

• When and Where? This was written in Eastern Europe during a time of great intellectual and spiritual ferment within Jewish communities. The Tanya itself is considered a roadmap for spiritual growth.

• Where are we reading from? We're in Part I of the Tanya, specifically chapter 13. This chapter is all about understanding different levels of spiritual engagement, and the concept we're focusing on today is crucial for understanding those levels.

• Key Term Defined: We're going to be talking about the Benoni (pronounced beh-NON-ee). In simple terms, a Benoni is an "intermediate" person. This isn't about being mediocre; it's about someone who is actively engaged in the struggle between their good and bad inclinations, and who hasn't fully conquered the bad, but also isn't ruled by it. They are in the thick of it!

Text Snapshot

Here’s a little taste of what our text is saying. Imagine your heart is like a little city, and you have two main residents:

"Therewith will be understood the commentary of our Sages… that ‘intermediate people are judged by both [the good and evil natures], for it is written, ‘When He stands at the right of the destitute to deliver him from the judges of his soul.’"

Think of your inner world like this: the “evil nature” might whisper ideas or desires into the “left part of the heart,” which then travels to the brain for thought. But right away, the “divine soul” in the brain challenges this! It's like having two judges in a courtroom, each presenting their case.

The text continues, explaining that the Benoni (that "intermediate" person we just met) is like someone who has a magistrate or judge representing their evil inclination. This judge gives an opinion, but it's not the final word. There's another "magistrate" – the divine soul – contesting it. The ultimate "verdict rests with the arbitrator."

And who is this arbitrator? It's the Holy One, blessed is He, who helps the good nature win out. The text says, "If the Holy One, blessed is He, did not help him, he could not overcome his evil inclination." This help comes like a light, illuminating the divine soul so it can gain mastery.

However, the text points out something really interesting: even though the good side is winning, the Benoni is told to consider themselves as if they were wicked. Not actually wicked, but to maintain a sense of humility and ongoing effort. Why? Because the "evil in the [heart’s] left part… is in its innate strength, craving after all the pleasures of this world." It hasn't been destroyed, just kept in check. It's like a sleeping person who can wake up again.

So, even when you’re studying Torah or praying with great love, the text reminds us that the evil inclination might still be there, just dormant. It's not about being actually wicked, but about recognizing that the internal struggle is real and continuous.

Close Reading

This text is a treasure trove of insights about our inner lives, and it offers a really unique perspective on what it means to be a person navigating the complexities of good and bad impulses. Let’s break down a few key takeaways that can actually make a difference in how we understand ourselves and our daily experiences.

### Insight 1: The Inner Courtroom and the Divine Judge

One of the most powerful images in this passage is the idea of our inner world as a kind of courtroom. We have two main "judges" vying for influence: the evil inclination (often referred to as the yetzer hara) and the divine soul (the neshama). The text describes how the evil inclination presents its case in the "left part of the heart" and then sends its thoughts up to the brain for consideration. This is a really relatable image! How many times have you felt a desire or a thought pop into your head that wasn't exactly noble? That’s the yetzer hara making its pitch.

But here's the crucial part: the text immediately tells us that this pitch is challenged by the "divine soul in the brain." This means that as soon as a potentially negative thought or impulse arises, our innate divine spark is already there, offering a counter-argument. It’s not like we’re passively receiving these impulses; we have an active, internal debate happening all the time. This is where the concept of the Benoni comes into play. The Benoni isn't someone who never has bad thoughts; they are someone whose divine soul is actively engaged in the debate, presenting its own case.

The text then introduces the ultimate "arbitrator": G-d Himself. It states, "If the Holy One, blessed is He, did not help him, he could not overcome his evil inclination." This is a profound statement of reliance and partnership. It’s not just about our own willpower; it’s about recognizing that we are not alone in this internal struggle. G-d’s help comes in the form of "the glow radiated by the Divine light, which illuminates the divine soul." This is a beautiful metaphor for spiritual insight and strength. When we feel inspired, motivated, or have a moment of clarity that helps us choose the good, it’s like this Divine light is shining, empowering our neshama to gain the upper hand.

What this means for you: This insight can be incredibly freeing. Instead of beating yourself up for having a fleeting negative thought or desire, you can recognize it as the yetzer hara making its case. Then, you can consciously tune into your inner divine spark, your neshama, and ask yourself: "What would the good side of me do here? What is the higher path?" Remember that you have G-d’s assistance in this process. It’s not about erasing the bad impulse entirely, but about having the tools and the divine partnership to navigate it. This shifts the focus from self-blame to self-awareness and empowered choice. It’s like realizing you have a whole legal team on your side in the courtroom of your mind!

### Insight 2: The Humble Warrior – Why the Benoni is Told to Be "As If Wicked"

This is perhaps the most counter-intuitive and, for many, the most challenging part of the text: the advice given to the Benoni to regard themselves "as if you were wicked." It sounds harsh, right? Especially when the text has just described the divine soul actively fighting for good. But this instruction is actually a masterful piece of psychological and spiritual guidance.

The text explains that this isn't about actually believing you are wicked. It's a strategic humility. The reason is that the evil inclination, even when subdued, is still "in its innate strength, craving after all the pleasures of this world." It hasn't been eradicated. It's like a powerful, but temporarily contained, force. The text uses the analogy of a "sleeping man, who can awaken from his sleep." This means that the Benoni's good deeds and moments of spiritual fervor are not a permanent victory that neutralizes the evil inclination. The inclination remains, and it can "wake up again."

So, why the instruction to be "as if wicked"?

1. To Prevent Complacency: If a Benoni were to believe they had "conquered" their evil inclination, they might become complacent. They might think their spiritual work is done. This humility, this self-appraisal as "as if wicked," serves as a constant reminder that the struggle is ongoing. It keeps one vigilant. It prevents the spiritual ego from taking root, which can be a greater obstacle than the yetzer hara itself.

2. To Foster Continuous Growth: By viewing oneself as still battling, one is motivated to continue striving, learning, and praying. This ongoing effort, even if it feels like a constant uphill battle, is precisely what the text values. The Benoni's service, though not as complete as a Tzaddik's (a fully righteous person), is considered "truly perfect service in terms of their [level of] truth." This means that within their own framework of struggle, their efforts are genuine and have immense value.

3. To Align with Divine Partnership: The text emphasizes G-d's role in helping us overcome. By maintaining humility and recognizing our ongoing need for G-d's assistance, we remain open to that divine help. When we think we've got it all figured out, we might inadvertently close ourselves off from the very grace that sustains us. Seeing ourselves as "as if wicked" keeps us reliant on G-d, fostering that vital connection.

What this means for you: This is a powerful reminder that spiritual growth isn't a destination; it's a journey. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to acknowledge that you still struggle. In fact, acknowledging the struggle is a sign of spiritual maturity. When you have a moment of success, or do something good, try to temper any feelings of self-congratulation with a touch of humble awareness. Remind yourself that this is part of an ongoing process, and that the strength to continue comes from G-d and from your own commitment to keep showing up. This doesn't mean dwelling on your faults, but rather maintaining a realistic and humble perspective that fuels continued effort and reliance on the Divine.

### Insight 3: The "Small City" and the Power of Thought, Speech, and Action

The text refers to our bodies and faculties as a "small city." This is a brilliant metaphor for understanding how our spiritual lives manifest in our physical existence. The "city" has different parts: the brain, the mouth, the hands, and other limbs. These represent our faculties of thought, speech, and action.

The text explains that in the Benoni, the "divine soul in the mind rules over the [entire] 'small city,' i.e., all the parts of the body." This means our intellect, our capacity to think and reason, has the potential to govern our actions. When the divine soul is in control, it directs the "thought, speech, and act" towards fulfilling the commandments of the Torah. These are the "garments" of the divine soul – the way it expresses itself in the world.

However, the text also notes that the evil inclination, while not in control, still exists in its "essence and substance" in the "left part" of the heart. It's not that the evil is gone; it's that its influence over the "limbs of the body" is limited because the divine soul has dominion. The evil inclination’s "garments"—its expressions in thought, speech, and action—are not being worn by the body.

This distinction is crucial. It means that our external actions are a powerful indicator of our inner state, but they are not the entire story. A Benoni might be engaged in studying Torah, praying, or performing acts of kindness (their divine soul's "garments"), but the underlying "essence and substance" of the evil inclination might still be present, just not actively driving those specific actions.

The text then elaborates on the fluctuating nature of this control. The divine soul's dominance is strongest when "love for G–d manifests itself in his heart on propitious occasions, such as during prayer and the like." This means that during moments of intense spiritual connection, like prayer, our divine soul is at its peak power, subduing the evil inclination. But, as we saw earlier, this can be temporary. The love and the dominance can pass, and the evil inclination can "wake up."

What this means for you: This insight encourages us to be mindful of all three aspects of our being: thought, speech, and action. It's not enough to think good thoughts; we need to allow those thoughts to guide our speech and our actions. Conversely, even if we're doing good deeds, we should remain aware of our inner motivations and the potential for negative impulses to lurk beneath the surface. The "small city" analogy reminds us that our entire being is involved in our spiritual journey. By consciously directing our thoughts, refining our speech, and engaging in righteous actions, we are essentially strengthening the rule of our divine soul over our entire "city." This also helps us understand why moments of intense spiritual feeling are important – they are opportunities to reinforce the positive governance of our inner city, making it easier to maintain that balance even after the intensity fades.

Apply It

This week, let’s try a tiny practice that directly engages with the idea of the "inner courtroom" and the "arbitrator."

For 60 seconds each day, perhaps when you first wake up, or before you go to sleep, or even during a quiet moment in your day, try this:

1. Acknowledge the Courtroom: Briefly recognize that you have both a divine soul (neshama) and an inclination towards less positive impulses (yetzer hara) within you. You don't need to dwell on specific thoughts or desires, just acknowledge their presence. You can think of it as: "Okay, my inner courtroom is open for business today."

2. Invite the Arbitrator: Then, very simply, invite the Divine arbitrator into the process. You can say silently to yourself: "G-d, please help my divine soul guide me today." Or, "May Your light illuminate my path." This is a brief, heartfelt invitation for divine assistance in navigating your internal landscape.

That’s it! Just 60 seconds. The goal isn't to achieve a profound spiritual state, but to build a tiny, consistent habit of acknowledging your inner dynamics and inviting divine partnership. It's a gentle way of practicing self-awareness and reliance, inspired by the text.

Chevruta Mini

Gather with a friend (or even just ponder these yourself!) and discuss these questions:

1. The text suggests the Benoni should consider themselves "as if wicked." How does this idea make you feel? Does it feel discouraging, or perhaps surprisingly motivating? Can you think of a time when a little bit of humble awareness helped you keep going, rather than a feeling of success making you complacent?

2. We talked about the "small city" of our bodies and faculties. If your body is a city, what are some of the "buildings" or "districts" that represent your thoughts, speech, and actions? How can you imagine your divine soul "ruling" over these areas in your daily life this week?

Takeaway

Remember this: your inner struggle is a sign of your divine connection, and you are not alone in navigating it.