Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 3:1

Hook

We gather today in the quiet space that remembrance carves out for us, a sanctuary woven from the threads of memory and meaning. Perhaps a particular anniversary approaches, a birthday that now echoes with a different kind of resonance, or simply a moment when the presence of someone dearly loved feels particularly close. This is a time when the veil between worlds thins, and we are invited to connect with the enduring essence of those who have shaped our lives. The path of memory and meaning is not always a straight road; it can be winding, at times gentle, at others more demanding. Today, we are on an "on-ramp," a gentle invitation to explore this landscape for about five minutes, an intermediate step in our journey of holding what was and what remains. We are not seeking to erase the pain of absence, but rather to find a way to integrate it, to allow the love and lessons learned to continue to illuminate our present. This space is for you, for your unique experience of connection and loss, for the quiet wisdom that emerges when we allow ourselves to simply be with what is.

Text Snapshot

From Tanya, Part I, Likkutei Amarim 3:1:

"Now, each distinction and grade of the three—nefesh, ruach, and neshamah—consists of ten faculties, corresponding to the supernal ten sefirot (Divine manifestations), from which they have descended, which are subdivided into two, namely, the three “mothers” and the seven “multiples,” namely, chochmah (wisdom), binah (understanding), and daat (knowledge); and the “seven days of Creation”: chesed (kindness), gevurah (power), tiferet (beauty), and so on. Similarly is it with the human soul, which is divided in two—sechel (intellect) and middot (emotional attributes). The intellect includes chochmah, binah, and daat (chabad), while the middot are love of G–d, dread and awe of Him, glorification of Him, and so forth. Chabad [the intellectual faculties] are called “mothers” and source of the middot, for the latter are “offspring” of the former."

Kavvanah

The Inner Architecture of Remembrance

This passage from Tanya offers a profound map of the human soul, describing its intricate structure and the dynamic interplay between intellect (sechel) and emotional attributes (middot). It speaks of chochmah (wisdom) as the potential, the spark of an idea, and binah (understanding) as the process of bringing that potential into clarity and comprehension. From this intellectual engagement, daat (knowledge) emerges, a deep attachment and union that then gives rise to the middot – love and awe. In the context of grief and remembrance, this offers a powerful lens through which to understand our own inner landscape.

Connecting to the Essence

When we remember someone, we are not simply recalling facts or events. We are engaging with the essence of their being, with the wisdom they imparted, the understanding they fostered, and the deep knowledge of them that we carry. The text suggests that our intellect is the fertile ground from which our emotions grow. When we contemplate the greatness of the Divine, it says, love and awe are born. Similarly, when we deeply contemplate the qualities and impact of the person we remember, when we engage our chochmah and binah to truly understand their multifaceted nature, we can cultivate profound feelings of love, gratitude, and even a reverent awe for the imprint they have left on our lives.

The Active Nature of Love and Grief

The passage highlights that love and awe are not passive states but are born from active contemplation, from a "binding of the mind" to the object of devotion. In our remembrance, this means actively engaging with the memory of the person, not just letting it wash over us. It means consciously calling to mind their wisdom, their kindness, their unique way of seeing the world. This active engagement can deepen our connection, allowing love and gratitude to flourish, even in the presence of sorrow. It suggests that our grief itself can be an expression of this deep attachment, a testament to the power of the love that was and continues to be.

Holding the Paradox of Presence and Absence

This framework also helps us hold the paradox of presence and absence. The person may no longer be physically present, but their wisdom, their understanding, their very essence can continue to inform our thoughts and feelings. The middot – the love and awe – that they inspired can remain vibrant within us. Our kavvanah today is to engage with this inner architecture of remembrance, to allow our intellect to illuminate the depth of our love and gratitude, and to find solace and strength in the enduring connection that transcends physical presence. We intend to honor the entirety of our experience – the joy of what was, the ache of what is no more, and the enduring legacy that continues to shape us.

Practice

The Candle of Illumination and the Whispered Name

This micro-practice is designed to be a gentle, accessible way to engage with the text's insights about the soul's structure and the active cultivation of remembrance. It invites you to bring your intellect and your emotions into conversation with the memory of your loved one.

Setting the Space

• Choose a quiet moment: Find a time when you can be undisturbed, even if it's just for a few minutes. This could be first thing in the morning, during a quiet afternoon break, or before you settle down for the evening.
• Gather your materials: You will need a candle (a Yahrzeit candle, a special remembrance candle, or any candle that feels meaningful to you) and a small piece of paper or a journal.
• Light the candle: As you light the candle, understand this as an act of illumination, a bringing forth of light from darkness, much like chochmah holds the potential and binah brings it into being. This flame represents the enduring spark of your loved one's soul, and the light of your own understanding and love.

The Practice: Engaging the Faculties

1. Whisper their name: Gently whisper the name of the person you are remembering. Let the sound of their name resonate in the quiet space. This is a simple act, yet it anchors the practice in the tangible reality of your connection.

2. Engage your chochmah and binah (Wisdom and Understanding):

   • Recall a specific quality: Think about one particular quality or characteristic of your loved one that you admired or that profoundly impacted you. Was it their humor? Their resilience? Their quiet strength? Their passion for a certain subject?
   • Ask yourself: "What did this quality mean to me? How did it manifest in their life and in our interactions?" Spend a moment here, allowing your intellect to explore the nuances of this quality. This is the active contemplation, the bringing of potential into understanding.

3. Connect to daat (Knowledge/Attachment):

   • Focus on the feeling: As you contemplate this quality and its meaning, notice the feelings that arise within you. Is it a sense of warmth? Gratitude? A pang of longing? Perhaps a quiet appreciation?
   • Allow for attachment: Let these feelings deepen. This is the daat, the attachment and union, where intellect and emotion begin to coalesce. Imagine your mind and heart gently binding to the memory of this quality and the person who embodied it. You are not just remembering an abstract concept; you are connecting to the lived experience of it.

4. Cultivate the middot (Emotional Attributes):

   • Express love or awe: From this place of deeper connection, allow yourself to feel and, if you wish, to express. You might silently say, "I love you," or "I am in awe of how you..." Or simply allow the feeling of love or awe to wash over you.
   • Write it down: On your piece of paper or in your journal, jot down a word or a short phrase that captures this feeling or the quality you focused on. It could be "Your laughter," "Your kindness," "Your strength," or simply "Love." This act of writing is a form of solidifying the memory and the emotion, making it a tangible part of your remembrance.

Holding the Flame

• Observe the flame: As you sit with the candle lit, allow yourself to simply be present with the flame and the feeling it evokes. There is no need to force anything. If tears come, let them flow. If a smile appears, embrace it.
• Let it burn: You can let the candle burn down completely if it's a Yahrzeit candle, or extinguish it mindfully when you feel ready. As you extinguish it, you might offer a silent blessing or a word of gratitude.

This practice is a gentle way to acknowledge that remembrance is an active, dynamic process. It’s about engaging our minds to understand, our hearts to feel, and our souls to connect, thereby nurturing the enduring love and meaning that our loved ones have gifted us.

Community

Sharing a Spark: A Circle of Resonance

The wisdom of Tanya emphasizes how chabad (intellect) gives birth to middot (emotions), and how daat (attachment) is the bridge. In community, we can amplify this process, allowing the shared experience of remembrance to deepen our individual connections and foster a collective sense of enduring love. This practice is about creating a space where individual sparks of memory can ignite a shared flame of understanding and support.

The Practice: A Shared Resonance

1. The Invitation: If you are with others who are also remembering someone, or if you are part of a group that gathers for remembrance, you can invite participation in a simple, yet profound way. Frame it as an opportunity to share a "spark" of what the person brought into the world, or what their memory evokes.

2. The "Spark" of Wisdom or Understanding:

   • Individual Reflection: Ahead of time, or in a quiet moment before sharing, each person can be invited to reflect on the chochmah (wisdom) or binah (understanding) that the person they remember embodied or imparted. This could be a lesson learned, a perspective gained, a way of seeing the world that was unique to them.
   • The Gentle Offering: When it is your turn, or when the group is ready, you can offer your "spark" in a few words. It doesn't need to be elaborate or a grand pronouncement. It might be as simple as:
     • "I remember how [Name] always taught me to look for the good, even in difficult times. That's a wisdom I carry."
     • "Understanding that [Name] found joy in the simplest things helped me to appreciate my own life more deeply."
     • "They had a way of explaining complex ideas that made them so clear. I learned so much from their understanding."

3. The Emergence of Daat and Middot:

   • Listening with Presence: As each person shares their "spark," the rest of the community listens with open hearts and minds. This act of listening is a form of daat – a shared attachment to the memory of the individuals being honored. It creates a collective space where their essence is acknowledged and felt.
   • Witnessing and Affirmation: The act of hearing these shared memories can evoke further feelings within each listener. You might feel a sense of connection to the speaker, a resonance with their experience, or a deepening of your own feelings of love or gratitude for the person being remembered. The community becomes a witness to the enduring impact of these lives.

4. The Collective Light:

   • No Need for Response: There is no obligation to respond to each shared spark. The power lies in the collective offering and the shared listening. The goal is not to analyze or debate, but to witness and affirm the enduring light of these individuals.
   • A Shared Candle (Optional): If appropriate, you might light a central candle before the sharing begins, symbolizing the collective light of remembrance. As each person shares, they are adding their unique spark to this shared illumination.

This practice honors the idea that our individual journeys of remembrance are enriched when shared. By offering our insights and listening to others, we create a resonant field of love and meaning, a testament to the fact that even in absence, connection thrives, and the wisdom and love of those we've lost continue to illuminate our lives and the lives of others. It is a beautiful way to acknowledge that while our grief may be personal, our capacity for love and remembrance is a shared human experience.

Takeaway

The intricate map of the soul, as described in Tanya, reveals that our capacity for love, awe, and deep connection arises from the active engagement of our intellect. In remembrance, this means we are invited not just to recall, but to understand, to contemplate, and to allow that contemplation to deepen our feelings of love and gratitude. This path of memory and meaning is an ongoing journey, and with each gentle practice, with each shared spark, we weave a richer tapestry of connection, honoring the enduring light of those who have shaped us, and allowing that light to continue to guide our way. May this practice offer you a sense of spaciousness, a connection to the enduring essence of your loved ones, and a quiet hope that the love you share continues to illuminate the world.