Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 7:1

Hook

We gather today to honor a memory, a presence that has shaped our lives, and a legacy that continues to unfold. Perhaps you are here marking an anniversary, a birthday, or simply a moment when the heart calls for connection to someone held dear. The passage of time does not diminish the light of those we love; rather, it allows us to see its enduring glow in new and profound ways. This space is for remembering, for cherishing, and for weaving the threads of their essence into the fabric of our own ongoing journey.

Text Snapshot

"On the other hand, the vitalizing animal soul in the Jew, that which is derived from the aspect of the kelipah, which is clothed in the human blood... yet are not performed for the sake of Heaven but only by the will, desire, and lust of the body... all these acts, utterances, and thoughts are no better than the vitalizing animal soul itself... flows and is drawn from the second gradation [to be found] in the kelipot and sitra achara, namely, a fourth kelipah, called kelipat nogah. In this world... most, indeed almost all, of it [the kelipat nogah] is bad, and only a little good has been intermingled within it... This [kelipat nogah] is an intermediate category between the three completely unclean kelipot and the category and order of holiness. Hence it is sometimes absorbed within the three unclean kelipot... and sometimes it is absorbed and elevated to the category and level of holiness, as when the good that is intermingled in it is extracted from the bad, and prevails and ascends until it is absorbed in holiness."

Kavvanah

May this ritual be a sacred pause, a moment to acknowledge the complex tapestry of life and spirit that we carry within us. As we explore the wisdom of this ancient text, let us cultivate a gentle awareness of the energies that animate our existence, both those that feel luminous and those that may seem shadowed. Our intention is to approach our memories and the enduring impact of our loved ones not as fixed points, but as living currents, capable of transformation and elevation. We seek to understand how even that which seems entangled or difficult can, with intention and consciousness, be drawn towards the light. May we find within ourselves the capacity to discern the sparks of good, to nurture them, and to allow them to ascend, transforming our relationship with loss into a dynamic affirmation of enduring connection and spiritual growth. We hold the understanding that grief is not a static state, but a process of becoming, and that within every experience, there lies the potential for refinement and a deeper communion with the divine essence that connects us all.

Practice

The Practice of Refinement: Extracting the Good

This practice invites us to engage with the central idea in the Tanya passage: that even within what seems "less than holy" or "intermingled," there is a potential for goodness to be extracted and elevated. This is a profound concept for navigating grief, where memories can sometimes feel tinged with difficulty, regret, or simply the ache of absence.

The Practice:

1. Choose a Memory or Aspect: Think of a memory, a characteristic, or even a challenge associated with the person you are remembering. It does not have to be solely positive. Perhaps it’s a shared struggle, a moment of frustration, a difficult period, or even a trait that was complex. The Tanya speaks of "mixed" vitality, and this practice aims to find the "good" within that mixture.

2. The Candle of Intention: Light a candle. As you light it, state your intention: "I light this candle to illuminate the enduring goodness and transformative potential within the memory of [Name]."

3. The Story of Extraction:

   • Acknowledge the Intermingling: Gently recall the memory or aspect you have chosen. Notice the feelings it evokes. If there's a sense of difficulty, acknowledge it without judgment. The Tanya describes "kelipat nogah" as an intermediate category, not entirely evil, but mixed. Your memory might feel similarly mixed.
   • Identify the Spark: Now, with your intention focused on elevation, ask yourself: What is the underlying spark of good here?
     • If the memory is of a struggle, was there resilience, learning, or a deeper understanding that emerged?
     • If it’s a complex trait, what was the potential or intention behind it, even if the expression was imperfect?
     • If it’s a moment of difficulty, what did it teach you about yourself, about them, or about the nature of life?
     • If it’s the simple absence, what enduring qualities of their presence are you grateful for that continue to sustain you?
   • Articulate the Elevation: Speak or write down this spark of good. Frame it as something that can be "extracted" and "elevated." For example:
     • Instead of dwelling on a past argument, you might say: "From the heat of that disagreement, I extract the enduring lesson of communication, and the elevated understanding that even in conflict, our love sought resolution."
     • Instead of lamenting a missed opportunity, you might say: "From the pain of that missed connection, I extract the profound appreciation for presence, and the elevated commitment to cherishing the moments I have."
     • If remembering a difficult time they faced, you might say: "From the depths of their struggle, I extract the unwavering strength of their spirit, and the elevated inspiration it provides for my own challenges."
   • The "Muttar" Moment: The Tanya uses the term "muttar" (permitted, released) to describe energies that are not permanently bound to the "kelipot." Think of this extracted good as "muttar" – released from any perceived negativity or limitation, and now free to ascend. It is no longer tied down by the difficulty, but is now a pure essence.

4. The Breath of Ascendance: Take a deep breath. As you exhale, imagine this extracted good, this "muttar" essence, rising like pure incense towards the heavens, towards the Divine, towards its source. Feel it ascending, refined and pure.

5. Closing: Gently blow out the candle, carrying the awareness of this extracted and elevated goodness within you.

Why this practice is helpful for grief:

• Avoids Platitudes: It doesn't ask you to pretend everything was perfect. It acknowledges the "mixed" nature of human experience and memory.
• Honors Different Timelines: You can apply this to recent losses or losses from long ago. The process of extraction is always available.
• Empowerment: It shifts the focus from passive suffering to active engagement with memory, allowing you to find agency in transforming difficult feelings.
• Connects to Legacy: By identifying and elevating the good, you are actively shaping how that person's essence continues to live on, both within you and in the world. It’s a way of ensuring their legacy is one of enduring light.

Community

The Shared Vessel: A Circle of Affirmation

The Tanya speaks of how vitality can be "degraded and absorbed" but also has the "power to revert and ascend." In our grief, it can feel as though aspects of our loved one's energy, or even our own energy in relation to them, have been diminished or obscured. This practice invites us to bring our shared understanding and support into the process of elevation.

The Practice:

1. Gathering Intent: If you are with others, or if you wish to connect with a community in spirit, begin by stating your collective intention: "We gather in shared remembrance, to acknowledge the enduring light of [Name] and to support each other in extracting and elevating the good that remains."

2. The Offering of Stories: Each person present can take a turn sharing a brief memory or a characteristic of the person being remembered. The key here is to consciously look for the "spark of good" within that sharing, even if the initial memory feels complex.

   • Prompt for Elevation: After someone shares, the group can gently encourage the speaker, or the speaker can themselves, to identify what is being "extracted" and "elevated." For example, if someone shares a memory of the person being stubborn, they might add: "And from that stubbornness, I extract the fierce determination they had to see things through, and I elevate that as a reminder of their perseverance." Or, if a memory feels painful, one might say: "This memory feels heavy, but I can extract from it the deep love that was present even in difficult times, and I elevate that enduring love."

3. The "Muttar" Blessing: As each person shares and identifies an elevated aspect, the others can offer a simple, communal blessing or affirmation. This is not about agreement, but about shared witness and support for the act of elevation. Phrases could include:

   • "May that strength continue to inspire us."
   • "May that love always be remembered."
   • "We witness the elevation of that joy."
   • "May that resilience guide us."

4. The Shared Light: If there is a central candle, you can each take a moment to hold your hand towards it (or simply focus your intention on it) as you hear each shared elevation, symbolizing the collective energy being sent upwards.

5. The Shared Silence: Conclude with a period of shared silence, holding the collective energy of remembrance and elevation.

Why this practice is helpful for community:

• Witnessing and Validation: It provides a space for stories to be heard and for the process of finding good within them to be witnessed and validated by others.
• Shared Responsibility: It transforms individual grief into a shared act of remembrance and spiritual refinement, reminding us that we are not alone in carrying these memories.
• Mutual Support: The communal affirmations offer gentle support, reinforcing the positive aspects and helping to mitigate any lingering feelings of isolation or burden.
• Broadening Perspective: Hearing how others extract and elevate different aspects of the same person can offer new perspectives and deepen the understanding of the person's multifaceted legacy.
• Hope Without Denial: It allows for the acknowledgment of difficult emotions or memories while firmly grounding the ritual in hope and the possibility of ongoing positive transformation.

Takeaway

The wisdom we explored today from the Tanya reminds us that within the intricate dance of existence, even that which appears complex or shadowed holds within it the potential for pure light. Our loved ones, like all of creation, are not solely defined by one aspect. They are a tapestry woven with threads of every color. In our remembrance, we are invited not to smooth over imperfections, but to engage with the full spectrum of their being. By consciously seeking to extract the good, the resilient, the loving – the "muttar" aspects – we do more than just remember; we actively participate in the ongoing elevation of their essence. This is a profound act of love, a testament to the enduring power of connection, and a pathway to finding enduring hope, not by denying the shadows, but by illuminating the light that persists within and beyond them.