Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 7:12

Hook

We gather today to hold a space for memory and meaning. Perhaps you are marking an anniversary, a birthday, or simply a quiet moment when the presence of someone loved and lost feels particularly near. The passage of time can bring a gentle shift in the landscape of our grief, not erasing the love, but perhaps allowing for a deeper exploration of its enduring imprint on our lives. Today, we invite you to connect with that imprint, to find resonance in ancient wisdom that speaks to the complexities of our inner world, and to discover how even in moments of profound absence, connection and meaning can be cultivated.

Text Snapshot

"On the other hand... the vitalizing animal soul in the Jew, that which is derived from the aspect of the kelipah... all these acts, utterances, and thoughts are no better than the vitalizing animal soul itself; and everything in this totality of things flows and is drawn from the second gradation [to be found] in the kelipot and sitra achara, namely, a fourth kelipah, called kelipat nogah. In this world... most, indeed almost all, of it [the kelipat nogah] is bad, and only a little good has been intermingled within it... This [kelipat nogah] is an intermediate category between the three completely unclean kelipot and the category and order of holiness. Hence it is sometimes absorbed within the three unclean kelipot... and sometimes it is absorbed and elevated to the category and level of holiness, as when the good that is intermingled in it is extracted from the bad, and prevails and ascends until it is absorbed in holiness."

Kavvanah

Today, my intention is to acknowledge the interwoven nature of our experiences, recognizing that even within the shadows of grief and loss, sparks of light and enduring goodness can be found and, with intention, transformed.

This passage from Tanya, a foundational text of Chassidic philosophy, speaks to a profound duality within existence. It describes an intermediary spiritual realm, the kelipat nogah, which is neither wholly good nor wholly evil. It is from this realm, the text suggests, that the vitality of many aspects of our physical lives—our desires, our actions, even our thoughts when not consciously directed towards holiness—emanates. The text offers a compelling insight: that within this often-conflicted space, there exists the potential for elevation. The "good that is intermingled" can be extracted, separated from the "bad," and, with conscious effort and intention, be "absorbed and elevated to the category and level of holiness."

In the context of grief and remembrance, this concept offers a gentle path forward. It suggests that our memories, our feelings, even the very pain we carry, are not monolithic. Within the complex tapestry of what we experience in the wake of loss, there are threads of love, of shared moments, of lessons learned, and of the enduring impact of the person we are remembering. These are the "good that is intermingled." Our practice today is not to deny the difficulty or the pain, but rather to consciously seek out these threads of goodness. It is to understand that just as the Tanya suggests we can elevate the vitality of food or speech towards holiness, we can also engage with our memories and our grief in a way that allows for their transformation.

Our kavvanah, our intention, is to become mindful of this potential for elevation. It is to approach the experience of remembrance not as a passive reception of sorrow, but as an active engagement with the meaning that persists. We are not seeking to erase the pain, for the pain is often a testament to the depth of love. Instead, we are seeking to understand how the love, the lessons, and the very essence of the person we remember can continue to illuminate our lives, even from a place of absence. We intend to cultivate a practice that allows the "good" within our memories and our present experience of grief to be recognized, honored, and, in its own way, ascended, contributing to the sacredness of our lives and the legacy we carry forward. This is a journey of discerning the light within the shadow, and of actively participating in the spiritual alchemy that transforms experience into enduring meaning.

Practice

The Practice of the Illuminated Memory Jar

This practice invites you to engage with the core idea of extracting the "good intermingled" within kelipat nogah and elevating it towards holiness, applying it to your personal experience of memory and grief. It is a micro-practice designed for a 5-minute engagement, offering a tangible way to embody the intention of finding and elevating the positive essence within our experiences.

Step 1: Preparing Your Sacred Space (1 minute)

• Find a quiet, undisturbed space. This could be a corner of your home, a comfortable chair, or even a peaceful spot outdoors.
• Gather your materials. You will need a small, clean jar or container (a mason jar, a decorative tin, or even a simple teacup will do). You will also need a small piece of paper and a pen or pencil.
• Optional: Light a candle. If you have a memorial candle or any candle that feels comforting, lighting it can create a sacred ambiance.

Step 2: The Single Word of Essence (1 minute)

• Close your eyes for a moment. Take a few slow, deep breaths, allowing yourself to arrive fully in this present moment.
• Gently bring to mind the person you are remembering. Do not force it, simply allow their essence to surface.
• Consider the "good that is intermingled" within your memories and feelings about them. What is the most potent, positive, enduring quality or aspect of their being that you wish to preserve and elevate? Think of a single word that encapsulates this. It could be "joy," "strength," "kindness," "wisdom," "laughter," "love," "resilience," "peace," or any word that resonates deeply with you.
• Write this single word on your small piece of paper. Fold it once.

Step 3: The Act of Extraction and Elevation (2 minutes)

• Open your eyes. Look at the single word you have written.
• Hold the folded paper in your hands. Feel its weight, its presence.
• Now, imagine your memory of this person, and the complex emotions that surround it, as the "kelipat nogah." Within it, you have identified the pure, unadulterated "good" – the single word you have chosen.
• With intention, visualize yourself carefully extracting this word, this essence, from the broader field of your memories and feelings. Imagine it becoming clearer, brighter, and more distinct.
• As you do this, speak the word aloud, or think it with great clarity and feeling. This is the act of "extracting the good."
• Now, take the folded paper and place it inside your prepared jar. As you do this, imagine you are not just putting a piece of paper into a container, but you are consciously elevating this essence. You are taking this "good intermingled" and dedicating it to holiness, to enduring meaning.
• You might say, silently or aloud: "I take this essence of [your chosen word] and elevate it, dedicating it to holiness and to the enduring legacy of [Name of person]."

Step 4: Sealing the Legacy (1 minute)

• Close the lid of your jar. You have now created an "Illuminated Memory Jar" containing a singular, powerful essence.
• Hold the jar for a moment. Feel the weight of this distilled goodness. This is not a receptacle for sorrow, but a vessel for the transformed light of your remembrance.
• Place the jar in a place where you will see it regularly. It will serve as a gentle reminder that even within the complexities of grief, there is always the potential for extracting and elevating the purest aspects of our love and our memories. This practice is a way of engaging with the wisdom of kelipat nogah, choosing to focus on and nurture the good, allowing it to ascend.

Community

The Shared Resonance of "Essence Sharing"

The Tanya's concept of transforming the "good intermingled" can be a powerful catalyst for communal connection. While our individual experiences of grief are unique, the shared human capacity to find enduring goodness and meaning is a universal thread. This practice invites you to connect with others in a way that honors this shared capacity, without requiring the disclosure of personal pain.

Practice: The "Essence Sharing" Circle

• Find one or two trusted individuals with whom you feel comfortable sharing a moment of remembrance. This could be a family member, a close friend, or a member of a support group.
• Explain the practice briefly: "Today, I'm exploring a concept about extracting the 'good intermingled' within memories and dedicating it to enduring meaning. I've created a small 'Illuminated Memory Jar' with a single word that represents the essence of [Name of person] for me. I'd like to invite you to participate in a similar way, either by sharing the word you might choose for someone you remember, or by simply holding space for this intention with me."
• Each person takes a turn (if they feel comfortable).
  • The first person can share the single word they chose for their "Illuminated Memory Jar" for the person they are remembering. They might briefly explain why they chose that word, focusing on the positive essence.
  • If others have also created their jars, they can then share their chosen words.
  • If someone has not created a jar but feels moved to share a word for someone they remember, they are welcome to do so.
• Alternatively, if direct sharing feels too vulnerable, you can offer a collective intention. For example, one person might say: "As we hold this space together, we acknowledge the enduring goodness that exists within our memories of those we love. May the essence of their love, their joy, their strength, and their unique light continue to illuminate our lives."
• After each person shares (or after the collective intention is offered), simply sit in silence for a moment. Allow the shared words, or the shared intention, to resonate. This is not a time for extensive discussion or advice-giving. It is a moment to witness and affirm the enduring goodness that each person’s presence brought, and continues to bring, into the world.
• You can conclude by saying: "Thank you for sharing this space and intention with me. May the light of these essences continue to guide and comfort us."

This "Essence Sharing" practice allows for a gentle, yet profound, connection. It acknowledges that while grief is personal, the capacity for love and the recognition of enduring positive qualities are shared human experiences that can be brought together in a spirit of mutual support and remembrance. It respects different timelines and comfort levels, offering a way to include others without demanding vulnerability beyond what feels safe.

Takeaway

The wisdom of the Tanya, in its exploration of kelipat nogah, offers us a profound lens through which to view our grief and remembrance. It teaches that within the complex tapestry of our experiences, even those touched by loss and sorrow, there exists "good intermingled." This practice is not about denying the pain, but about consciously choosing to identify, extract, and elevate that inherent goodness. By focusing on a single word that encapsulates the enduring essence of a loved one, and by dedicating that essence to holiness, we actively participate in transforming our memories into sources of light and enduring meaning. This process is a gentle, ongoing journey, reminding us that love's imprint is not erased by absence, but can, with intention, continue to ascend and illuminate our lives, connecting us to a legacy that transcends time.