Jerusalem Talmud Nazir 5:2:3-4:1

Welcome, dear friend, on this sacred path you are exploring. It's truly a journey of the heart, a profound turning towards something ancient and enduring. As you consider a Jewish life, you're engaging with a tradition rich in wisdom, commitment, and deep connection. Sometimes, the initial steps can feel overwhelming, or the texts might seem distant, dealing with specifics that don't immediately resonate with your personal quest. Yet, every line of our tradition, even those about seemingly esoteric matters like vows and sacrifices, holds profound lessons about intention, responsibility, and the sacred architecture of Jewish life. This particular text from the Jerusalem Talmud, Nazir 5:2, might at first appear to be about a very specific, ancient practice: the Nazirite vow. But as we delve into it, you'll find it speaks directly to the essence of commitment, sincerity, and the intricate dance between human intention and divine law – themes that are absolutely central to your journey of conversion. It’s about how we declare our intentions, how those intentions are understood (or misunderstood), and how the Jewish legal system navigates the complexities of human error and sincere aspiration within the framework of a sacred covenant. This text offers a lens through which to appreciate the seriousness, the beauty, and the careful consideration that undergirds every significant commitment in Jewish life, including, and perhaps especially, the decision to join the Jewish people.

Hook

This ancient discussion about Nazirite vows, intentions, and errors in dedication might seem far removed from your personal journey of exploring conversion. Yet, it sits at the very heart of what it means to make a profound, life-altering commitment within Judaism. Every step you take, every question you ask, every mitzvah you explore, is a form of 'vowing' your attention, your energy, and your spirit to a deeper connection. This text invites us to consider the sanctity of intention, the weight of a declaration, and the intricate wisdom of a tradition that guides us through both clear-eyed commitment and unforeseen complexities. For someone contemplating gerut, this isn't just a historical legal debate; it's a window into the very soul of Jewish covenantal living, illuminating how our inner world of desire meets the external world of practice and community. It teaches us about the resilience of spiritual aspiration, even when faced with doubts, changes, or initial misunderstandings, and how the Jewish legal system, guided by its Sages, endeavors to uphold the spirit of commitment while navigating its practical realities.

Context

To fully appreciate the wisdom embedded in our text, it's helpful to understand a few key concepts that frame its discussion of Nazirite vows and dedications:

The Nazirite Vow and its Significance

A Nazirite vow (nezirut) is a special commitment described in the Torah (Numbers, Chapter 6), where an individual voluntarily undertakes a period of heightened sanctity. During this time, the Nazir refrains from drinking wine or any grape products, avoids cutting their hair, and refrains from coming into contact with the dead. It's a temporary, self-imposed separation from certain worldly pleasures and norms, intended to elevate one's spiritual focus and draw closer to God. At the completion of the vow, the Nazir brings specific sacrifices to the Temple, shaves their head, and returns to a more conventional life. This act of nezirut is a powerful testament to personal will and spiritual discipline, a direct, voluntary assumption of additional mitzvot beyond those required of all Jews. The text we're studying deals with the complexities that arise when such a vow is made under mistaken assumptions or when the circumstances change – a profound analogy for any significant life commitment. The Sages' discussions reveal a deep concern for upholding the integrity of vows while also being sensitive to human fallibility and the potential for genuine error.

The Role of Intention (Kavanah) and Declaration (Dibbur) in Jewish Law

Jewish law, Halakha, places immense importance on both intention (kavanah) and clear declaration (dibbur). A mitzvah performed without proper intention, or a declaration made ambiguously, can be problematic. This text grapples with situations where a Nazirite vow (a dibbur) might have been made based on an incorrect understanding or assumption (flawed kavanah or changing circumstances). How do we treat a commitment that was technically declared but whose underlying premise was flawed? This is where the Houses of Hillel and Shammai, the great rabbinic schools, engage in their meticulous debate. Their differing approaches reflect fundamental principles about how Jewish law balances the letter of the law with the spirit of the individual, and how it seeks to ensure that sacred acts are truly meaningful. This interplay of intention and declaration is crucial for someone exploring gerut; conversion is not merely a verbal declaration, but a profound internal shift of kavanah to live as a Jew, culminating in the dibbur of accepting the mitzvot before a beit din.

The Analogous Role of the Beit Din and Mikveh in Conversion

Just as the Sages in our text have the authority to interpret, clarify, and, in certain circumstances, even annul a Nazirite vow, the beit din (rabbinical court) plays an indispensable role in the conversion process. The beit din is not a gatekeeper, but a facilitator and a validator. Their role is to ensure that a prospective convert's intention (kavanah) to embrace Judaism is sincere, informed, and wholehearted, and that their declaration (dibbur) of commitment to the mitzvot is genuine. The mikveh, the ritual bath, is the culminating act, a transformative immersion that symbolizes spiritual rebirth and entry into the Jewish covenant. It is the physical manifestation of the spiritual commitment, a moment of profound personal sanctification. The parallel to the Nazirite's sacrifices and ritual shaving at the end of their vow is striking; both are formal, public acts that mark the completion of a significant spiritual journey and a re-entry, or entry, into a new state of being within the Jewish community. The text's exploration of "error" and the Sages' role in discerning the validity of a vow offers a glimpse into the careful, compassionate, yet firm approach that a beit din takes when guiding someone through the profound commitment of gerut.

Text Snapshot

Let's focus on a pivotal exchange from the Mishnah in Jerusalem Talmud Nazir 5:2:3, which vividly illustrates the dynamic we're exploring:

MISHNAH: If he asked the Sages and they permitted, if he had an animal designated, it leaves and grazes with the herd. The House of Hillel said to the House of Shammai: Do you not agree that this is dedication in error, it leaves and grazes in the herd? The House of Shammai answered, do you not agree that if somebody erred and designated the ninth as the tenth, or the tenth as ninth, or the eleventh as tenth, it is sanctified? The House of Hillel answered, not the staff sanctified it… But the verse which sanctified the tenth sanctified the ninth and the eleventh.

This excerpt captures the core tension: when is an act, even a sacred one, considered nullified due to error, and when does the underlying holiness or divine decree override human mistake?

Close Reading

This text, at its heart, is a masterful exploration of intentionality, commitment, and the enduring power of holiness within Jewish law. It provides two profound insights that resonate deeply with the journey of someone exploring gerut.

Insight 1: The Weight of Intention and the Nuances of "Error" in Covenantal Commitment

Our text from the Mishnah delves into the complexities of a Nazirite vow made under a mistaken assumption. The initial scenario describes someone who made a vow, then approached the Sages, either to have it confirmed or annulled. The pivotal debate between Beit Hillel and Beit Shammai hinges on whether a dedication made "in error" (הקדש טעות) maintains its sanctity or becomes null and void. Beit Hillel argues that if the underlying premise of the vow is flawed, the dedication is in error and should be annulled, allowing the animal designated for sacrifice to return to its profane state – "it leaves and grazes with the herd." Beit Shammai counters with an example from the laws of animal tithes, where an error in designation (calling the ninth animal the tenth, or the eleventh the tenth) still results in the animal being sanctified. Beit Hillel then refines this, stating that it's not the human act of "error" with the staff that sanctifies, but rather "the verse which sanctified the tenth sanctified the ninth and the eleventh." This implies a deeper, inherent sanctity at play, beyond mere human designation.

For someone exploring conversion, this discussion is profoundly illuminating. The journey of gerut is, in many ways, an ultimate act of intentional dedication. You are choosing to enter into a covenant, to dedicate your life to the Mitzvot and the Jewish people. But what if, along the way, your understanding evolves? What if your initial intentions were based on partial knowledge, or even on certain misconceptions? The text helps us explore the robustness of a commitment in the face of evolving understanding or "error."

Consider the initial stages of exploration: you might be drawn to Judaism for various reasons – a sense of belonging, an intellectual curiosity, a spiritual yearning, or a connection to Jewish people. These initial intentions, while sincere, might not yet encompass a full grasp of the vastness of Halakha, the nuances of Jewish thought, or the practical realities of Jewish life. This is not an "error" in the sense of a deliberate mistake, but an "error" in the sense of incomplete information or evolving kavanah. The Penei Moshe commentary on the Mishnah clarifies the Nazir's situation: "בלשון שהיה דומה לו שלא היה נזיר" (in language that seemed to him not to be a Nazirite vow). This Nazir thought they weren't making a vow, but the Sages confirmed they were. Similarly, you might think you understand what Jewish life entails, only to discover deeper layers and commitments.

The Houses of Hillel and Shammai, through their debate, offer two perspectives on how such an "error" might be treated. Beit Hillel's position, allowing the annulment of a vow made in error, suggests a sensitivity to the human element. If the foundational premise of a commitment is faulty, then perhaps the commitment itself cannot stand as originally conceived. This perspective can be a source of comfort for you. As you learn more, you might find that certain initial assumptions you held about Judaism were incomplete or even incorrect. Does this invalidate your sincere desire? Beit Hillel implies that a genuine error in understanding, when brought to the attention of the Sages (your rabbi and beit din), allows for re-evaluation and adjustment. It emphasizes that true commitment must be built on a clear foundation. This is why the conversion process involves extensive learning: to ensure that your kavanah is not built on a "dedication in error" but on an informed, conscious choice.

However, Beit Shammai's counter-argument, and Beit Hillel's nuanced response regarding the sanctity of the ninth and eleventh animals, introduces another layer. Even when there's human error in designating the animal for tithing, a certain sanctity can still attach to it because "the verse" (divine law) has deemed it so. This suggests that some forms of holiness or commitment, once activated, have an enduring quality that transcends individual human error. While the beit din can annul a Nazirite vow under certain circumstances, the sanctity of Tithe animals, even if incorrectly designated, points to a dimension where Halakha itself, rooted in divine decree, can confer a status that is not easily undone.

For your journey, this is a powerful reminder that while your initial intentions are crucial, the ultimate goal is to align yourself with a divinely revealed system of mitzvot. Your personal kavanah is essential, but it is also directed towards a larger, objective truth of Torah and Jewish law. The process of conversion is not just about what you feel, but about what you commit to do within the framework of Jewish tradition. Your sincerity is paramount, but it is channeled into the concrete practices and responsibilities of Jewish life. If, for example, you genuinely believe you are committing to a certain aspect of Judaism, and later discover that the Halakha requires something slightly different, this text suggests that the underlying sanctity of your aspiration, coupled with the divine structure of the mitzvot, can still guide you forward. It’s about refining your understanding, not necessarily invalidating your core desire to connect. The process of gerut helps you move from an initial, perhaps general, intention to a deeply informed and covenant-centered commitment, ensuring that your dedication is not just heartfelt, but also halakhically sound and spiritually robust. This careful balance between personal intention and halakhic truth is a hallmark of Jewish life, and it's beautifully illustrated in this ancient Talmudic debate.

Insight 2: The Indispensable Role of the Sages (Beit Din) in Navigating Covenantal Commitments and Addressing Sincerity

The text repeatedly highlights the central role of the Sages (hachamim) in resolving questions surrounding Nazirite vows. The Nazir "asked the Sages," who then either "forbade" (confirming the vow) or "permitted" (annulling the vow). Later, in the Halakha section, we encounter the story of Naḥum from Media, who permitted nezirim from the Diaspora to annul their vows due to the destruction of the Temple, only to have his ruling overturned by the greater Sages. This underscores that the Sages, representing the collective wisdom and authority of Jewish law, are the arbiters of these complex matters. Their role is not merely advisory; they are the authoritative interpreters of Halakha who can discern the validity of a vow, the nature of an "error," and the sincerity of the individual making the commitment.

This function of the Sages provides a direct and profound parallel to the beit din (rabbinical court) in the conversion process. The beit din is not just a formality; it is the spiritual and halakhic authority that guides, interviews, and ultimately affirms your readiness to enter the covenant. Just as the Nazir approaches the Sages for discernment, you approach the beit din for guidance and validation of your sincere desire to become Jewish.

The text's discussion of "scoffing at his vow" (galgal or ligleg) is particularly relevant here. The Halakha section states: "If he made a vow of nazir and scoffed at his vow, one does not let him ask about it unless he kept its prohibitions for the number of days he did not keep the prohibitions, the words of Rebbi Jehudah." And further: "The House of Shammai say, since he decided to ask, he is now scoffing. But the House of Hillel say, if he were scoffing, he would not ask." This exchange reveals a deep concern for sincerity and consistent commitment. To "scoff" at a vow is to treat it lightly, to disregard its prohibitions. If someone has not demonstrated sincere adherence to their commitment, even if they later wish to clarify or annul it, the Sages require a period of renewed observance to demonstrate their seriousness. This isn't punitive; it's pedagogical. It's about cultivating a genuine internal disposition towards the sacred.

For you, as someone exploring gerut, the beit din serves this same function. They are looking for sincerity (kavanah) and a demonstrated commitment to living a Jewish life (ma'aseh). They will ask about your understanding of mitzvot, your willingness to observe them, and your connection to the Jewish people. This is not to test you in a punitive way, but to ensure that your commitment is deeply felt and practically sustainable. If you approach them with an attitude of "scoffing" – meaning, a casual disregard for the commitments inherent in Jewish life – they will, like the Sages with the scoffing Nazir, require a deeper period of engagement and demonstrated observance. The beit din needs to see that you are not taking this monumental step lightly, that you are genuinely ready to uphold the covenant.

The story of Naḥum from Media further clarifies the boundaries of individual rabbinic authority versus the collective wisdom of the Sages. Naḥum sought to annul Nazirite vows for those who came from the Diaspora and found the Temple destroyed, arguing that their vows were made in error because they couldn't fulfill the sacrifices. The Sages ultimately disagreed, ruling that "anyone who made his vow before the Temple was destroyed is a nazir, after the Temple was destroyed he is not a nazir." This teaches us that while compassion for changing circumstances is important, there are objective halakhic principles that must be upheld. The beit din in your conversion journey similarly operates within established halakhic parameters. They don't invent new rules; they apply the timeless wisdom of Torah and tradition to your unique situation. This ensures that your entry into Judaism is recognized and valid across the entire Jewish world, rooted in a shared, enduring legal framework.

The beit din's role, therefore, is multifaceted:

• Guidance and Education: They help you clarify your intentions and deepen your understanding of Jewish life.
• Validation of Sincerity: They assess your kavanah and your demonstrated commitment to mitzvot.
• Halakhic Authority: They ensure that the process is conducted according to Jewish law, guaranteeing the validity of your conversion.
• Community Integration: They are the bridge that formally welcomes you into the Jewish people, ensuring that your commitment is witnessed and accepted by the collective.

Just as the Nazir's journey culminates with the Sages' ruling and the Temple sacrifices, your journey culminates with the beit din and the mikveh. These are not mere bureaucratic steps, but sacred acts of covenantal entry, guided by the wisdom and authority of our tradition, ensuring that your profound commitment is both personally authentic and halakhically sound. The beit din is there to support you, to challenge you, and ultimately, to embrace you into the sacred covenant of the Jewish people.

Lived Rhythm

As you navigate this profound exploration, integrating Jewish practice into your daily life is crucial. It’s not just about intellectual understanding; it's about living the rhythms of Jewish time and cultivating a Jewish soul. For a concrete next step, I encourage you to embark on a structured learning plan focused on the daily practice of brachot (blessings). This isn't just about memorizing words; it's about training your awareness, cultivating gratitude, and acknowledging God's presence in every moment.

A Detailed Learning Plan for Brachot: Cultivating Awareness and Gratitude

The act of reciting brachot is a cornerstone of Jewish living, transforming mundane actions into sacred encounters. It’s a powerful way to align your kavanah (intention) with the divine, much like the Nazir's vow was an attempt to elevate daily life. This practice will help you build a foundational rhythm of Jewish life, regardless of where you are in your formal conversion journey.

Phase 1: Understanding the "Why" (Weeks 1-2)

• Explore the Philosophy: Begin by understanding why Jews recite brachot. Read articles or listen to podcasts about the concept of gratitude in Judaism, the idea of sanctifying the mundane, and the role of shem u'malchut (God's Name and Sovereignty) in blessings. Think about how this aligns with your personal spiritual aspirations.
  • Resource Suggestion: Look for essays by Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks on blessings, or chapters in books about Jewish prayer and spirituality. Sefaria also has numerous texts discussing brachot in Mishnah Berachot or relevant sections of the Shulchan Aruch.
• Identify Core Blessings: Focus on the most common blessings you'll encounter or recite daily.
  • Morning Blessings (Birchot HaShachar): Even if you don't say the full morning service, learn Modeh Ani (for men) / Modah Ani (for women) upon waking, and perhaps one or two of the other short blessings for daily functions (e.g., Asher Yatzar after using the restroom).
  • Food Blessings (Birchot HaNehenin): Learn the blessings for bread (HaMotzi), other grain products (Mezonot), wine (Borei Pri HaGafen), fruit (Borei Pri HaEtz), vegetables (Borei Pri HaAdama), and general items (Shehakol Nihyeh Bidvaro).
  • Blessing for Torah Study: If you are already engaging in Jewish learning, consider learning Birkat HaTorah.
• Translate and Internalize: Don't just learn the Hebrew words; understand their meaning. Use a transliterated and translated siddur (prayer book) or online resources. Focus on the core message of each blessing: acknowledging God as the source of all good.

Phase 2: Gradual Integration and Practice (Weeks 3-6)

• Start Small and Build: Don't try to recite every blessing perfectly from day one. Choose one or two blessings to focus on for a week, and gradually add more.
  • Example Week 3: Focus on Modeh Ani every morning and Asher Yatzar whenever appropriate.
  • Example Week 4: Add HaMotzi before eating bread. Pay attention to the intention (kavanah) behind it.
  • Example Week 5: Incorporate blessings for fruits and vegetables before you eat them.
• Consistency over Perfection: The goal is to build a habit of mindful blessing. If you forget one, don't despair; simply try to remember the next time. The sincerity of your effort is what matters.
• Utilize Resources:
  • Siddur (Prayer Book): Invest in a good siddur with English translation and transliteration. ArtScroll and Koren are popular options.
  • Online/App Resources: Many apps and websites offer guides to brachot with audio pronunciations. Sefaria is excellent for text and commentary.
  • Flashcards/Notes: Create small cards with the Hebrew, transliteration, and translation for easy reference, especially for food blessings. Keep them in your kitchen or dining area.

Phase 3: Deepening the Practice (Beyond Week 6)

• Refine Your Kavanah: Once the words become more familiar, focus on the kavanah – the conscious intention. When you say Borei Pri HaEtz, truly connect to the idea of God creating the fruit of the tree. Let it be a moment of genuine gratitude.
• Expand to Other Blessings: Explore blessings for unique experiences (Shehecheyanu for new things or milestones), for seeing natural wonders, or for performing mitzvot.
• Journal Your Experience: Keep a journal of your brachot journey. What challenges did you face? What moments of connection did you experience? How did this practice change your perception of your daily life? This reflection will help you solidify your understanding and commitment.
• Discuss with a Rabbi/Mentor: Share your experiences with the rabbi or mentor you are working with. They can offer guidance, answer questions, and provide additional insights. This also demonstrates your active engagement in the process.

Potential Challenges and How to Address Them:

• Forgetting: It's natural! Don't let it discourage you. Just resolve to remember next time. The act of returning to the practice is part of the growth.
• Feeling Mechanical: If you find yourself reciting blessings without kavanah, pause. Re-read the translation. Take a deep breath and reconnect with the meaning. Remember, it's about intentionality.
• Pronunciation Worries: Don't let perfect pronunciation be a barrier. Your sincere effort is what God hears. Over time, with practice, it will improve. Many online resources offer audio guidance.
• Social Context: If you're not yet openly practicing Judaism, reciting blessings in public might feel awkward. Start with private blessings, or discreetly whisper them. The goal is personal connection, not performance.

By dedicating yourself to learning and practicing brachot, you are not only taking a concrete step in Jewish observance but also internalizing a fundamental Jewish worldview. You are, in essence, making daily "mini-vows" of acknowledgement and gratitude, cultivating an awareness that will deeply enrich your exploration of Jewish life and prepare your heart for the broader covenantal commitments of gerut. It's a rhythm that connects you to generations of Jews, sanctifying time and space, and drawing you closer to the divine.

Community

As you explore this path, you don't walk alone. Judaism is inherently a communal journey, and finding supportive connections is not just helpful, but essential. Just as the Nazir in our text sought the guidance of the Sages, you need wise and compassionate guides. Here are several avenues to connect with the Jewish community, each offering unique benefits:

Connecting with a Rabbi

The most crucial connection you can make is with a rabbi. A rabbi serves as a spiritual guide, a teacher of Torah, and a communal leader. Their role in your journey is analogous to the Sages in our text, who clarify the law and provide direction for those seeking to uphold sacred commitments.

• What to Expect: A rabbi will be your primary mentor in learning Jewish law, history, philosophy, and practice. They will help you understand the commitments involved in gerut, answer your questions, and guide you through the formal conversion process with a beit din. They will also help you connect with a Jewish community that aligns with your spiritual path. Expect open and honest conversations, learning sessions, and an assessment of your readiness and sincerity.
• Finding the Right Fit: It's important to find a rabbi whose approach resonates with you. Different movements within Judaism (Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist) have varying interpretations of Halakha and different approaches to conversion. Research local synagogues or organizations representing these movements. Attend services, adult education classes, or community events to get a feel for the community and its rabbi. Don't be afraid to meet with a few different rabbis before committing to one. Look for someone who is knowledgeable, compassionate, and encourages your questions while also being clear about the commitments involved.
• How to Initiate Contact: Send an email or call the synagogue office to request an informational meeting with the rabbi. Be upfront about your interest in exploring conversion. You might say something like: "Shalom Rabbi [Name], my name is [Your Name], and I am exploring the possibility of conversion to Judaism. I would be grateful for the opportunity to speak with you about this journey and learn more about your community."
• Benefits: A rabbi provides personalized guidance, halakhic authority, and a direct link to the formal conversion process. They will also vouch for your sincerity and readiness to the beit din. This connection mirrors the Nazir's reliance on the Sages to navigate the complexities of their vow.

Joining a Synagogue Community

Beyond a personal rabbinic mentor, integrating into a synagogue community is vital. A synagogue is not just a place of worship; it's a beit knesset (house of gathering), a beit midrash (house of study), and a beit tefillah (house of prayer).

• What to Expect: You'll find opportunities for communal prayer, learning, and social connection. Attending Shabbat services, holiday celebrations, and adult education classes will immerse you in the rhythms of Jewish life and allow you to observe practices firsthand. You'll meet other Jews, including those who may have also converted or are exploring Judaism.
• How to Get Involved: Start by attending services. Many synagogues are very welcoming to visitors. Look for "beginner-friendly" services, or ask the synagogue office about introductory programs. Participate in adult education classes – this is an excellent way to learn and meet people with shared interests. Volunteer for community events or social action initiatives. Don't be shy about introducing yourself and explaining that you're exploring Judaism.
• Benefits: A synagogue provides a ready-made support network, a place to practice communal mitzvot, and a sense of belonging. It allows you to experience Jewish life in action, beyond theoretical learning. This communal embrace is crucial for gerut, as you are not just converting to a set of beliefs, but joining a people.

Participating in a Jewish Study Group or Class

For those who are not yet ready for a full synagogue commitment or prefer a more focused learning environment, a dedicated study group or class can be an excellent starting point.

• What to Expect: These groups often focus on specific topics (e.g., Jewish ethics, weekly Torah portion, Hebrew language, basic Halakha) and provide a structured learning environment without the full commitment of synagogue membership. You'll engage in discussions, learn from a teacher, and connect with fellow students who may be on similar journeys.
• How to Find One: Ask your prospective rabbi for recommendations, check synagogue websites for adult education schedules, or look for local Jewish community centers (JCCs) that often offer a variety of classes. Online platforms also host virtual study groups that can be accessible if local options are limited.
• Benefits: Study groups offer a lower-barrier entry point to Jewish learning and community. They allow you to deepen your knowledge, engage in intellectual exploration, and meet like-minded individuals in a relaxed setting. This focused learning complements your personal studies and provides a space for questions and shared discovery.

By actively seeking out these communal connections, you are demonstrating your sincere desire to become part of the Jewish people. These connections will not only enrich your learning but also provide the vital support system that is so characteristic of Jewish life, ensuring that your journey is one of shared growth and genuine belonging.

Takeaway

Your exploration of gerut is a journey of profound commitment, mirroring the ancient Nazirite's vow in its intentionality and sacred gravity. This text from the Jerusalem Talmud reminds us that while human intention and even error are acknowledged, the ultimate validity of a sacred commitment is rooted in divine law and guided by the wisdom of the Sages. Embrace the process of deep learning, cultivate sincerity in your practice, and lean into the support of a compassionate Jewish community. Your earnest desire to connect is a powerful testament, and the Jewish tradition, with its intricate balance of personal aspiration and collective covenant, is ready to welcome you with guidance and love.