929 (Tanakh)
I Samuel 31
In another voice
Hook
If you grew up sitting in a drafty synagogue basement or enduring Sunday school lessons with felt boards, your memories of the biblical King Saul are probably colored by a very specific, very stale take.
You were likely taught that Saul was the "beta test" king—the insecure, paranoid, slightly unhinged placeholder who messed up his divine mandate, got rejected by God, and was rightfully replaced by the golden boy, King David. In this version of the story, Saul is a cautionary tale about what happens when you don't follow instructions. He is the bad king; David is the good king. The end.
No wonder you bounced off. It feels like a Sunday school sermon designed to make you eat your spiritual vegetables and stay in line. It’s flat, moralistic, and psychologically vacant.
But if we dust off the stale dogma and look at I Samuel 31 with adult eyes, we find something radically different. This chapter isn’t a neat little morality play; it is a towering, cinematic masterpiece of ancient tragedy. It is a raw, unflinching look at the reality of leadership burnout, the crushing weight of public expectation, and, ultimately, the quiet, world-redeeming power of non-transactional loyalty.
You weren’t wrong to find the "obey-or-be-punished" version of this story alienating. It was. So let’s try again. Let's look at how a broken king, a terrified armor-bearer, and a group of midnight grave-robbers can teach us how to navigate our own moments of collapse with dignity, and how we can show up for others when the cameras are turned off and there is absolutely nothing in it for us.
Listen to this lesson. Ask it questions.
Audio, a chevruta that cites its sources, Hebrew tools, and every daily cycle, in the app.
Context
To understand how we arrived at this desperate battlefield on Mount Gilboa, we need to strip away the Sunday-school gloss and look at the gritty reality of ancient Israel. Here are three crucial pieces of context to ground us:
- The Geopolitical Pressure Cooker: Israel was undergoing a chaotic, painful transition from a loose confederation of local tribes led by temporary "judges" to a centralized monarchy. The people demanded a king because they were terrified of their highly organized, technologically superior neighbors, the Philistines, who possessed iron weapons and chariot divisions. Saul didn't ask for the crown; he was thrust into a geopolitical pressure cooker with a mandate to unify a fractured nation under constant threat of annihilation.
- The Psychological Toll of the Crown: Saul’s reign was defined by intense, isolating pressure. The text repeatedly describes him as being plagued by a ruach ra’ah—a "bad spirit" or depressive, paranoid melancholy. He was a man fighting on two fronts: battling the Philistines externally, and wrestling his own psychological demons internally. By the time we reach the end of the book of Samuel, Saul is exhausted, isolated, and knows his dynasty is slipping away.
- The Literary Jump-Cut: In the chapters leading up to this, the narrative has been focusing on David, who is hiding out, winning victories, and building his own power base. In I Samuel 31, the camera suddenly cuts back to Saul. As the classical commentator Rashi notes on I Samuel 31:1, the text uses the phrase "And the Philistines fought" as a cinematic transition, essentially saying, "Meanwhile, back at the ranch..." We are yanked out of David's rising star and dropped directly into the dark night of Saul's soul.
Demystifying the "Rule-Heavy" Misconception: The Moral Ledger Fallacy
Before we read the text, let’s dismantle one major hurdle that keeps many adults from engaging with biblical narratives: the belief that the Bible is a simplistic moral ledger where good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people.
If you read the Bible this way, Saul's death on Mount Gilboa is just "divine punishment" for his failures. But the Hebrew Bible is far more sophisticated—and far more honest about human suffering—than that. The text does not pause to lecture us on Saul's sins as he dies. It doesn't gloat. Instead, it watches his final moments with a hushed, sorrowful, and deeply empathetic awe.
The Bible is not a rulebook with a list of historical characters who either passed or failed. It is a mirror of the human condition. When we read of Saul's fall, we aren't reading about a sinner getting his comeuppance; we are reading about a deeply flawed, deeply tragic human being reaching the end of his rope, and the quiet heroes who refuse to let his memory be erased.
Text Snapshot
Here is the dramatic climax of the chapter, where the battle has gone terribly wrong, and the narrative shifts from national catastrophe to intimate, heartbreaking human choices:
Saul said to his arms-bearer, “Draw your sword and run me through, so that the uncircumcised may not run me through and make sport of me.” But his arms-bearer, in his great awe, refused; whereupon Saul grasped the sword and fell upon it. When his arms-bearer saw that Saul was dead, he too fell on his sword and died with him. Thus Saul and his three sons and his arms-bearer, as well as all his men, died together on that day.
— I Samuel 31:4-6
New Angle
Now that we have cleared away the stale interpretations, let’s look under the hood of this text with adult eyes. We are no longer children looking for a simple moral to take home. We are adults who know what it feels like to struggle, to watch things we built fall apart, and to wonder who will stand by us when the dust settles.
There are two profound insights hidden in this ancient text that speak directly to the complexities of modern adult life: the reality of the "crash landing," and the radical ethics of non-transactional loyalty.
Insight 1: The Anatomy of a Crash Landing (Dignity in the Face of Collapse)
Let’s start with the battle itself. The classical commentator Malbim, writing on I Samuel 31:1, makes a devastating psychological observation about the Israelite army. He notes that the Hebrew text implies that Israel's courage didn't just falter; it completely evaporated:
"Their strength was melted... they did not fight at all, but fled immediately, and because of this, they fell as corpses, for the beginning of defeat is flight."
Imagine the scene. Saul is standing on the slopes of Mount Gilboa. He looks around, and the army he spent decades building, training, and leading is running away. His sons—including Jonathan, the bright hope of the next generation—are already dead at his feet. The archers have closed in, and Saul is severely wounded.
This is the ultimate nightmare of any leader, parent, or creator: the total, irreversible collapse of the enterprise you gave your life to protect.
At this moment, Saul is faced with a terrifying choice. He knows the Philistines are coming to capture him. In the ancient Near East, capturing an enemy king didn't mean putting him in a comfortable POW camp; it meant public torture, mutilation, and psychological degradation. Saul looks at his armor-bearer and asks him to end his life.
When the armor-bearer refuses out of sheer terror and awe, Saul does something remarkable in its tragic gravity: he takes his own sword, sets the hilt on the ground, and falls upon it I Samuel 31:4.
The Complexity of the Final Act
For centuries, theologians have debated the morality of Saul's suicide. But if we look at the text itself, there is no condemnation. Instead, there is a profound recognition of a leader reclaiming his agency when all outer control has been stripped away.
As adults, we have all experienced versions of the "crash landing."
- It’s the business founder realizing the company is going under, and having to manage the bankruptcy without destroying their employees' lives.
- It’s the parent realizing a marriage is unsalvageable, and trying to navigate the divorce with as much grace and minimal damage to the kids as possible.
- It’s the professional realizing that a career path they pursued for twenty years has hit a dead end, and having to dismantle their identity without losing their mind.
When the battle is lost, when the "reign" is ending, the question is no longer “How do I win?” The question becomes: “How do I fall?”
Saul's final act is not an act of cowardice; it is a desperate, dignified attempt to prevent his enemies from "making sport of him" I Samuel 31:4. He refuses to let the office of the King of Israel be turned into a grotesque public circus. He takes responsibility for his own ending.
The commentary Steinsaltz on I Samuel 31:1 points out that the battle was chaotic, sprawling across a large area of Mount Gilboa. In that lonely, chaotic landscape, Saul's death is a quiet, sober moment of self-determination. He realized he could not save his kingdom, his sons, or his life. But he could save his dignity.
For anyone who has had to execute a difficult ending—who has had to close a business, end a relationship, or walk away from a lifelong dream—Saul's story offers a strange, comforting validation. It reminds us that sometimes, the most heroic thing we can do is to face our endings with our eyes open, taking ownership of our exit rather than letting ourselves be dragged down by the momentum of a collapsing system.
Insight 2: The Long Memory of Kindness (The Radical Ethics of Jabesh-Gilead)
If the story ended with Saul's death, it would be a bleak, cynical tragedy. But the narrative takes a sudden, beautiful turn in verses 8-13.
The day after the battle, the Philistines find Saul’s body. They cut off his head, strip him of his armor, and send his weapons as trophies to the temple of Ashtaroth. Then, they take his headless torso and the bodies of his sons and impale them on the high walls of the city of Beth-shan I Samuel 31:10.
This was the ultimate ancient insult. In that culture, to leave a body unburied, exposed to the elements and scavenger birds, was to deny that person any peace in the afterlife and to completely erase their dignity in the eyes of the living. It was an act of psychological warfare designed to terrorize the surviving Israelites.
The Malbim on I Samuel 31:10 unpacks the profound theological insult of this moment. He notes that the Philistines put Saul's head in the temple of Dagon because years earlier, when the Philistines had captured the Ark of the Covenant, the statue of their god Dagon had mysteriously fallen and its head had broken off I Samuel 5:4. Now, by placing the severed head of the Israelite king in their temple, they were declaring: “Our god has finally paid you back. We have broken your king's head just as your God broke ours.”
It is a moment of total humiliation for Israel. The king's body is rotting on a wall, a symbol of absolute defeat.
And then, the unexpected happens.
The Night March of the Stalwarts
When the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead heard about it—what the Philistines had done to Saul—the stalwarts among them set out and marched all night; they removed the bodies of Saul and his sons from the wall of Beth-shan...
— I Samuel 31:11-12
Who are these people from Jabesh-gilead? Why would they risk their lives, slip past enemy lines in the dead of night, scale the walls of a hostile stronghold, steal heavy, decomposing bodies, carry them miles back to their home territory, cremate them to prevent further abuse, bury the bones under a tamarisk tree, and fast for seven days I Samuel 31:12-13?
To answer this, we have to go back in time. We have to open up a tab to I Samuel 11.
Decades earlier, when Saul was a newly anointed, terrified young farm boy who had just been made king, the Ammonites besieged the city of Jabesh-gilead. The Ammonite leader offered them a horrific treaty: he would spare their lives only if he could gouge out the right eye of every single citizen, bringing disgrace upon all Israel I Samuel 11:2.
The people of Jabesh-gilead sent out a desperate cry for help. Saul heard their cry, rallied the tribes, marched through the night, and routed the Ammonites, saving the city from physical mutilation and national humiliation I Samuel 11:11.
That was decades ago. Since then, Saul had lost his way. He had chased David, neglected his duties, fallen into madness, and ultimately lost his crown and his life on Mount Gilboa. To the rest of the world, Saul was a failed project, a write-off, a dead man walking.
But the people of Jabesh-gilead had a long memory.
They remembered the young man who had stood up for them when no one else would. They remembered that their ancestors still had both of their eyes because of Saul. And so, when Saul was at his absolute lowest—when he was dead, desecrated, and unable to offer them a single political favor, tax break, or military alliance—they got up and marched all night to bring him home.
Chesed shel Emet: The Kindness That Cannot Be Repaid
In Jewish tradition, there is a beautiful concept called Chesed shel Emet—literally, "the kindness of truth," or absolute, unconditional grace. It is defined as the kindness we show to the dead.
Why is it called the "kindness of truth"? Because it is the only form of kindness that is completely free of self-interest. When you do a favor for a living person, there is always a tiny, subconscious voice that whispers, "Maybe they will help me move next weekend," or "Maybe this will help me get that promotion." But when you care for a dead body—when you wash it, shroud it, bury it, and guard it—there is zero chance of reciprocity. The dead cannot write a thank-you note. They cannot leave you a positive review on LinkedIn. They cannot return the favor.
The midnight march of the men of Jabesh-gilead is the ultimate historical example of Chesed shel Emet.
In our modern, hyper-transactional world, we are constantly encouraged to audit our relationships based on utility. We ask ourselves:
- “Is this networking contact worth my time?”
- “What am I getting out of this friendship?”
- “Is this relationship serving my personal growth?”
We prune our social circles like corporate balance sheets. We distance ourselves from people whose "brand" is failing, whose mental health is too messy, or who can no longer help us climb the ladder.
The stalwarts of Jabesh-gilead offer us a stunning, counter-cultural alternative. They remind us that the true measure of our character is not how we treat the people who can help us win, but how we show up for the people who have already lost. They show us that loyalty isn't a transaction; it is a covenant. It is a commitment to remember the good someone did, even when they are no longer capable of doing it anymore.
Low-Lift Ritual
To help bring this ancient wisdom down from the realm of theory and into your actual life, let’s try a simple, low-lift practice this week. We’ll call it The Jabesh-Gilead Audit.
This is a 90-second mental and digital ritual designed to push back against the hyper-transactional nature of modern life and cultivate the "long memory of kindness."
The Practice (Time: 90 Seconds)
- Close your eyes and take one deep breath. (10 seconds)
- Think back to a period in your life when you were struggling, starting out, or in a vulnerable position. It could be your first job, a difficult move to a new city, a period of grief, or a time when you felt completely lost. (20 seconds)
- Identify one person who threw you a lifeline during that time. This is your "Saul of Jabesh-gilead"—someone who did something kind, generous, or protective for you when you had absolutely nothing to offer them in return. Maybe it was a teacher who stayed late, an older colleague who mentored you, a neighbor who brought you soup, or a friend who just sat with you in the dark. (20 seconds)
- Open your phone and take action. (40 seconds)
- If they are still alive: Send them a brief, no-strings-attached text or email. You don’t need to catch up or ask for anything. Just write: "Hey, I was just thinking about that time years ago when you helped me with [X]. I wanted to let you know that I’ve never forgotten your kindness, and I’m still incredibly grateful for it. No need to reply, just wanted to send some good energy your way."
- If they have passed away or are no longer in your life: Light a candle, look at a photo of them, or simply take a moment to say out loud: "Thank you, [Name], for seeing me when I was invisible. I still carry your kindness with me."
Why This Matters
This tiny ritual is a micro-dose of Chesed shel Emet. By acknowledging a past kindness with zero expectation of a return, you are actively rewiring your brain away from transactional thinking. You are stepping onto the wall of Beth-shan, reclaiming a piece of shared human dignity, and planting it under a tamarisk tree.
Chevruta Mini
In Jewish tradition, learning is never done in isolation. We learn in Chevruta—pairs of study partners who challenge, question, and sharpen one another.
Here are two provocative questions based on our reading of I Samuel 31 to discuss with a friend, a partner, or even to journal about tonight.
Question 1: The Armor-Bearer's Dilemma
The text tells us that Saul's armor-bearer refused to run him through because he was in "great awe" I Samuel 31:4. Yet, seconds later, when he saw Saul fall on his sword, the armor-bearer chose to die beside him.
- For Discussion: Why do you think the armor-bearer refused to act, only to immediately mimic Saul's self-destruction? Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your loyalty to a leader, a company, or a system paralyzed you from making a rational decision, even to the point of "falling on your sword" alongside them? How do we distinguish between healthy loyalty and self-destructive complicity?
Question 2: The Unclaimed Bodies on the Wall
The men of Jabesh-gilead risked everything to rescue a body that didn't belong to their family, their tribe, or their current political interests. They did it simply because they remembered who Saul used to be.
- For Discussion: In our highly polarized, fast-paced culture, who are the "unclaimed bodies on the wall" today? Who are the people or groups whose reputations have been decimated, whose "battles" have been lost, and who have been left exposed to public mockery? What would it look like for us to show up for them with the quiet, risky, midnight dignity of Jabesh-gilead, even when it is socially or professionally dangerous to do so?
Takeaway
The book of I Samuel does not end with a triumphant trumpet blast or a neat moral lesson. It ends in the quiet, solemn shade of a tamarisk tree in a distant, dusty town, where a group of brave citizens are weeping for a broken king.
Your Hebrew school teacher might have wanted Saul’s death to be a simple warning about obedience. But the text itself wants something much larger for you. It wants you to see that the human story is complicated, tragic, and beautiful; that leaders fail, systems collapse, and dreams die; but that nothing we do in love and protection of one another is ever truly lost.
Saul’s kingdom fell on Mount Gilboa. But the kindness he showed to Jabesh-gilead decades earlier survived the battle, survived the archers, and survived the fire.
As you go about your week, remember that you don't have to be a perfect king, a flawless leader, or a spotless moral exemplar to leave a legacy. The empires we build will eventually crumble, and the battles we fight will eventually end. But the quiet, unrecorded moments when we show up for someone in the dark? Those are the things that are rescued from the wall. Those are the things we bury under the tamarisk tree, where they grow into shade for the generations to come.
Read this page at another depth
Tomorrow's lesson, already explained.
Today's is done. Tomorrow morning's arrives the same way: one short, source-cited email on the day's page. Every day of the cycle has one.
derekhlearning.com