I Samuel 10

Insight

We often view parenting through the lens of "preparing our children for the future." We obsess over milestones, grades, and extracurriculars, hoping that if we provide the right inputs, the output will be a successful, well-adjusted adult. Yet, in I Samuel 10, we see something radical: Saul is anointed king, but he is fundamentally transformed by "signs"—encounters with prophets, bread from strangers, and a spiritual shift that changes his very heart. Samuel tells him, "The spirit of God will grip you, and you will become a different person" I Samuel 10:6.

As parents, we often act like Samuel, trying to pour "oil" on our children’s heads to set them on a specific path. We want them to be the "king" of their own lives—successful, confident, and capable. But the Malbim, in his commentary on this passage, notes that Samuel anointed Saul in private. He didn't make it a public spectacle because he wanted Saul to experience the shift internally before he had to carry the weight of the crown. The Malbim explains that the kiss Samuel gave Saul was a "clinging of spirit to spirit," an act of deep, quiet validation that prepared Saul for the prophetic experience that followed.

This is the great parenting paradox: we are called to guide, yet we must respect the "baggage." Even after being chosen as king, Saul was found hiding among the baggage I Samuel 10:22. He was shy, uncertain, and perhaps overwhelmed by the mantle placed upon him. How often do we see our children—or ourselves—hiding among the baggage of our own insecurities, fears, or the expectations of others?

The "good-enough" parent understands that growth isn't about constant performance. It is about creating the "signs" for our children—those small, holy moments of connection—that allow them to find their own "different heart." We don't need to force the kingship on them; we just need to be the person who offers them the bread of encouragement and the "kiss" of authentic presence. When we stop demanding that our children always be "out in front" and instead create space for them to navigate their internal transformations, we stop being managers and start being partners in their unfolding.

Remember, even Saul, the first king, needed to hide for a moment before he could stand "a head taller" than the rest I Samuel 10:23. If your child needs to retreat, if they are struggling with a new transition, or if they seem "not ready" for the expectations of the world, don't panic. They are just in their "baggage" phase. Your job isn't to drag them out by force, but to stand nearby, offering the grace that says, "I see you, and you are capable of greatness, even when you’re hiding." Bless the chaos of their growth, because that is where the real "anointing" happens—in the quiet, hidden spaces where they learn who they are becoming.

Text Snapshot

"The spirit of G-OD will grip you, and you will speak in ecstasy along with them; you will become a different person... And when they came there, to the Hill, he saw a band of prophets coming toward him. Thereupon the spirit of God gripped him, and he spoke in ecstasy among them." I Samuel 10:6, 10

Activity: The "Sign" Scavenger Hunt

This activity is designed to help your child notice the "signs" of goodness and growth in their own life, just as Samuel provided signs for Saul.

1. The Setup (2 minutes): Write down three "signs" on small slips of paper. These should be simple, positive things you’ve seen your child do recently (e.g., "I saw you share your toy," "You were really patient when you were tired," "You helped me clean up").
2. The Discovery (5 minutes): Hide these slips around the house in places where your child will "accidentally" find them. You could put one in their lunchbox, one near their shoes, and one by their bed.
3. The Connection (3 minutes): When they find one, don't make a big lecture out of it. Just say, "I saw that, and it reminded me that you’re becoming such a kind person." If they ask why, just say, "It’s a sign!"

This practice shifts the focus from "what did you do wrong?" to "what signs of character am I seeing?" It mirrors the way Samuel guided Saul—by pointing out the moments where the "spirit" (the best version of themselves) was already showing up.

Script: When Your Child Asks "Why do I have to do this?"

The Scenario: Your child is pushing back on a responsibility (school, chores, or a family commitment) and feels like you are forcing a "kingship" on them they didn't ask for.

The Script (30 seconds): "I hear that you’re frustrated, and honestly, if I were you, I might feel the same way. Being expected to do things all the time feels heavy, like a crown that’s too big. But I’m not asking you to do this because I want to boss you around; I’m asking because I see your strength, even when you don’t feel it yet. Sometimes, we have to do the 'donkey-searching' work—the boring, daily stuff—before we get to see the big picture of who we’re becoming. You don't have to be perfect at this today. You just have to show up. I’m here with you, and we’ll figure out the next step together."

Habit: The "Hidden Blessing" Micro-Habit

Every night this week, before you close your eyes, identify one "hidden" moment from your child's day that you would have otherwise missed. Perhaps they were playing quietly, or they struggled with a task but didn't give up immediately, or they showed a flash of empathy toward a sibling. Send a quick text to your partner or write it in a note app titled "Saul’s Progress."

The goal is to move your brain away from the "loud" behaviors that frustrate you and toward the quiet, internal shifts that define who your child is becoming. You are looking for the "spirit of God" in the mundane baggage of the day. This micro-habit takes less than 60 seconds and transforms your perspective from a frustrated manager to a watchful, loving witness.

Takeaway

Parenting isn't about creating a perfect king; it's about walking alongside your child as they discover their own "different heart." Whether they are standing tall or hiding in the baggage, your presence is the most important "anointing" they will ever receive. Keep it simple, keep it kind, and remember: you are doing enough.